1st of May

Little Announcement

2010-10-21T09:14:00.000-07:00

New blog. But some old stuff are still there :p

0

2010-10-18T10:17:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers,

What you are about to read are my thoughts from second half of 2006 to Oct 2010. No doubt you may notice the difference in writing style, and even the transparency of thoughts I show here. Some may keep you guessing, some with their names clearly stated.

Just to clarify: The last 42 posts are my list of things I like about life in KL - that's why it's more day-to-day basis in comparison to posts before that, and it's also part of my count down towards starting my new job in Subang.

I have maintained this blog wholeheartedly, and because of that, I have had problems coming after me sometimes, thanks to some posts I insist not to delete. There was only once I deleted my post, and it wasn't on voluntary basis as well. I am serious about everything I write here, and I am serious about this blog. Friends who know me know how important this blog is to me.

But now, I have decided to cease posting here. I just wish to keep this part of my memory here as I start a new life. Maybe I would get a new place to blog. Maybe I wouldn't.

Cheers and have a good day.

1

2010-10-08T03:20:00.000-07:00

This is the last post of my count down to the days I leave KL. Even since before I begin the count down, I've had the thought of dedicating this last post to some very close friends of mine. Or at least I think that they are, the debating team.

But maybe I am wrong. Yes I understand everyone is busy. To be honest, it bothers me that my birthday isn't celebrated with them and even till my last day in KL, there isn't any farewell gathering or something from them. Whereas with my CG, they write me messages, pray for me and we mamak kao-kao. And even with my colleagues, they celebrated BOTH my birthday and farewell. Probably me and the debating team have just drifted apart already, which is a good reason to finally make me drop them down now.

Anyway, yesterday was my last day in the company. I've been rushing all my work since Monday, to finish whatever was given, and to hand over stuff accordingly. I could feel tachycardia from 8:30am till 5:30pm. Thank God for gym to work out the stress after work. I spent some time to bid good bye to some colleagues and superiors. It's been great to know them.

And at this moment, I am sitting at my desk in my Subang room. I've just moved in this afternoon, many things have yet to be unpacked.

But first, I need to pack my old emotions and memories, then only await the new adventure and give space for more memories ahead :)

2

2010-10-06T08:29:00.000-07:00

Just came back from mamak at NZ Wangsa Maju with Sue Ann, Aaron, Jeremy, Siaw Lin, Tristan and Lemuel :) Pictures are in Siaw Lin's camera. It's a great evening! I've been looking forward for it since last night. We talked about upcoming SPM, Lemuel's Hollywood talents, books, movies, Burger King RM1 Whooper Day, MBS dinner, among others.

We ate, talked, laughed. It's good to catch up with them before I leave.

At least these people bother to show me that I mean something to them even though I've only known them for a short while.

3

2010-10-06T04:46:00.000-07:00

I had an enjoyable farewell lunch with colleagues (more specifically, my lunch mates in office) at SMI Cafe, Central Plaza, today.

I was glad that things went well, and everyone whom Amy's invited could attend. Sitting in their midst, talking and laughing, made me forget my excitement for my new job for a moment. I wished time could freeze itself at that moment, for me to take in everyone's presence and savour it.

It's been great to know that bunch of wonderful people. May the Lord bless them abundantly in their career, relationship, health and spirituality.

4

2010-10-05T08:28:00.000-07:00

Abdullah was handing out some Turkish delicacies he received from a "normal but very close" female Turkish friend. He also sent her some local delicacies as well.

And we had a good time teasing him about it.

AND HE BLUSHED!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

5

2010-10-05T08:17:00.000-07:00

There's this Raya makan-makan event in office during lunch today :) We ate steamboat, among other delicious food prepared by the Malay colleagues. We do this every Raya, and I always look forward to it because the food are always delicious and we're always spoiled with choices!

YUM!

6

2010-10-04T08:53:00.000-07:00

So Talal and I went for a movie this evening. As we were having our dinner at Tabush (if I spell it correctly) at Pavilion, we happened to sit next to this friendly lady. We started to talk to each other, and had great conversations throughout our dinner.

Sandra Tan was from Penang, but now she travels all over the world pretty much, as a software developer. She'll only be in Malaysia till next January, then she'll be off to Switzerland. She attends FGA church.

With Talal coming from Middle Eastern, we had even more topics over our food. After dinner, we exchange contact numbers :)

It's second random night in a row, and I am totally loving it =)

7

2010-10-03T07:24:00.000-07:00

There are times I doubt what I read from the paper, even The Economist as well. I always think it's totally cool to be able to meet the people affected by certain incidents face to face and ask them questions.

Talal: Excuse me, what is this button for?

Me: Oh, it's inclination - how steep you want your treadmill to be.

Talal: Thanks. It's my first time here.

Me: I see. Go on, increase your inclination, give it a try!

Talal: Erm.. ok *chuckled* But I'm doing this just for you.

Me: Ha.............

(second non-Chinese in 2 weeks' time?)

Me: So, where are you from?

Talal: Me? Jordan :)

Me: WOW! So do you always have wars with Israel?

Talal: Yeah, sort of. I was actually from Palestine, but moved to Jordan some years ago.

Me: *jaw-dropped* How's the situation with Israel now?

Talal: Bad. I hate them.

Me: Sigh..*feel bad* Is it possible for you to forgive them?

Talal: No. Because they just came to our land and took it from us just like that.

Me: And they kill your people, too?

Talal: Yeah, they kill our people.

Me: If the Israelites were to stop killing your people and stop advancing at the borders, will you forgive them?

Talal: *pause* For me, yes.

Me: Wow.. :)

Talal: Are you a Chinese or Malay?

Me: *smile* I'm a Malaysian.

Talal: Oh, MALAYsian. *noded*I ask because the Malaysian Chinese have never heard of Palestine.

Me: HUH?! Wait! Really?!

Talal: Yeah, they don't know where Palestine is and have never heard of the name!

Me: But I am a Chinese! *defensive, haha*

Talal: Oh wow, and you've heard of Palestine and Jordan and Israel and West Bank? That's cool.

Seriously, Malaysian Chinese, what have you guys been telling our Middle Eastern friends, huh?

After the gym, the both of us ended up at a Middle Eastern restaurant called The Roof in Bukit Bintang area. Talal recommended it, and it serves good Yemeni food. If we sit at the open air tables, we can have a good view of the busy street from top of the building (roof top bah). Then he bumped into a friend at the restaurant, Rami, and the three of us had our dinner together.

The best part was, both of them were from Palestine, with Rami stays there longer than Talal. And they told me the situation in Palestine: Hamas who supported by Russia and Iran, is now controlling Gaza, while Fatah being the puppet of US is controlling West Bank. They neither support Hamas nor Fatah. Because to them, Hamas is just flying the Islamic flag but are not true Muslims in their heart. While Fatah, well, they're just useless when it comes to standing up for the people when US takes advantage of them.

And Russia + Iran support Hamas because US supports Fatah. In other words, the war between Israel and Palestine were for the piece of Holy Land. But it's now become a war FOR another war - who cares about Jerusalem now? The real victims are Palestinians AND Israelites, and the residents in that region.

We also discussed many other random topics about each other's countries. One thing that shocked me the most was:

It's best if they (Muslim) were to marry to another Muslim. If they were to marry with non-Muslims, they're more encouraged to marry with Jews and Christians than with people of other religions. Because they all believe in the same God. Still, the Muslim spouse has the responsibility to continue to convince and NOT force his spouse and children to convert to Islam. If they never seem to be converting, the Muslim spouse has to keep on trying. That's totally not the story we hear in Malaysia. Rami says it's in the Al-Quran. He seriously said that. As I heard this, I forgotten to breathe for 20 seconds.

Eventually, their friends dropped by the restaurant to hang out as well. And a few of them joined our table, and they all spoke in Arabic which I couldn't make sense of. But I enjoyed it nonetheless. I was surrounded by a language (no, in fact, is a total different culture!) I did't have much exposure of, it's totally so cool to just stared at them and be amazed.

Soon, I told them that I needed to leave because I wished to rest early tonight. Talal volunteered to send be back my condo.

It's a total random evening in KL which makes me hate to leave KL even more. How often do I get to jump into randomness this often again?? And I enjoyed the food, the culture, the conversations and companies I had. I have not meet enough people in this city to call myself a resident here, and now I'll be moving in 5 days time :(

8

2010-10-01T22:41:00.000-07:00

NZ Mamakstall after CG

Tristan and I were talking about different kinds of law he is about to study throughout his degree.

Me: Do you have international law as well?

Tristan: Yup, but that's optional. It's only available in final year.

Me: Oh, do you plan to take it?

Tristan: See first la, it's quite tough.

Me: Oh yeah, it's quite tough. But, take la, take la! :D

HY: Haha, you're making the decision as if you're the one studying it.

And the 3 of us plus Si Qin laughed.

That's very likely my last supper at mamak with my CG mates after Bible study. I wonder after I move will I still have chance to go mamak frequently like this. Or to meet them up and have this kind of heart-lightening conversation..

I miss you guys.

9

2010-09-30T08:44:00.000-07:00

Phew! So I've finally told my colleagues about my resignation from my current company.

I handed in my resignation letter since 20th July 2010, and my last day in this company is on 7th October 2010, after offsetting my remaining Annual Leaves.

Of course, Amy knew about my resignation for all this while. In fact, she actually knew about which interview I was attending whenever I took a day or two off from work, and the times I struggled with the 3 months notice period versus offered a job and ready to resign dilemma. And the rest of the department knew about it once I handed in my resignation letter.

For those who're not from my department, Chloe was the first one I broke the news to personally. The experience was hilarious. I started off by asking her for lunch at some slightly nicer place, such as SMI cafe in Central Plaza. She had no idea why I asked her for lunch there. But well, since we're lunchmates, it's nothing unusual. Then we went on to compare Japanese restaurants else where, share experience about the food, price and services. Then we moved on to talk about boss and the buying-over of our company and some contract stuff. And talk about our company as a whole. She's worked here for 5 years, of course she knows more about the background of the company than I do. Then only I broke the news to her. Haha! Man, it takes two to beat around the bush effectively!

Chloe was shocked, then jokingly made me tell the other colleagues myself, one by one. She said that since I wanted to be this secretive, they're not going to help me spread it, I'll have to do it myself. And I really have to do it because they're going to organise a farewell lunch for me. Without knowing what's happening, it's quite weird to invite others just for lunch, with the unusual group of lunchmates. Chloe's expression was really funny. And so was Choy Li's. William's response was really drama, while Ivory's, YC's, Jessie's and YSY's were very mild. But YSY has the best answer:

Me: Hey, next Wed are you free? Let's go for lunch together.

YSY: OK. Aiya, sure can la, I everyday also need to eat one mah.

Me: *burst out laughing*

Tomorrow will tell KJaan and others. And will tell Michelle next Mon or Tue when she's back from Aus :)

One more week to go!

10

2010-09-30T06:31:00.000-07:00

July 2005

on the bridge in front of Istana Budaya, crossing over to the football field, with a massive traffic jam under the bridge

You: Hey, look, on your left, it's all red lights from the cars on the left lane, and all yellow lights on the right lane.

Me: *amazed* yeah..

You: However, on your right, it's the opposite!

Me: Haha! I was just about to point that out!

11

2010-09-29T02:37:00.001-07:00

Last Monday I had department lunch with my colleagues in Tony Roma, Pavilion. It's actually a farewell lunch for me. We had their set lunch and I think it kinda worth it :)

Me: Hey Abdullah, mai duduk sini! *grinning*
*patting at the seat right next to me*
Abdullah puzzled and quickly sat at the opposite seat, next to my Head of Dept, and BLUSHED.
HOD: Hey duduk dengan yang sudah kahwin buat apa? You kena practise kurangkan rasa malu dengan yang belum kahwin la.

HAHAAHAHAHA

Abdullah is a clerk in my department. He knows everything about the department, where things are and how things go about. But he's a very shy person. We always tease him about finding his significant half, and very concern about this issue, too, because even himself admitted that he'll get panicky if the girl he likes is around.

And, it's not just us who likes to tease him. Girls from other departments like to do that to him, too. Hahahaha!

And there's an inside joke that Abdullah is the Pengetua, Amy is his assistant (Penolong Pengetua) and I am the disciplinary teacher, haha :)

12

2010-09-28T22:11:00.000-07:00

We celebrated Xu Vin's birthday at San Francisco Steak House, KLCC last Sunday night. To get there from UiTM Women's IV:

I was already at Women's IV when I found out Kevin's note about this surplaise dinner for Xu Vin. It didn't take me long to decide if I wanted to attend, though. (Have I finally found the cure for decidophobia?? Hee hee!)

Initially the plan was Lee Fang and I would be attending, and hence Lee Fang could drive us there. After the Women's Forum, Lee Fang was very much moved by how much effort the organisers had put in to for this tournament, and felt guilty for leaving early. That automatically rendered me a double sinner as I did feel the same guilt as well, with me being the most senior adj except the adj core - the turn out for the tournament was kinda small.

But for some reasons, it didn't affect my previous decision. And I happened to talk to Shaq and Fairuz about hitching a ride, and they had graciously went all out to get Reza to send me to the nearest (not necessarily near, mind you) Putra LRT station so that I can avoid taking KTM, to go to KLCC.

At first, Fairuz and Reza were suppose to attend an open house together, and they could drop me at Kelana Jaya station on the way there. But this wasn't what happened. Fairuz had to stay back for some prize giving ceremony event, hence only Reza drove me all the way to that station from UiTM Shah Alam (if you're familar with the distance, you know how much it means to me), just to send me there, then back to campus to wait for Fairuz. And Shaq was partly involved in talking Reza into doing this favour for me. He later sms me just to make sure I reached wherever I needed to go.

I am (still, present tense) indeed overwhelmed by their great hospitality and kindness. The world should have more amazing people like them. I am glad to be given the chance to know them via debate :)

13

2010-09-27T22:34:00.000-07:00

UiTM Women's IV

I took a day off from work for it. It's been a long time I haven't seen Khairun in the debating scene. This time she came back as CA for this tournament. I actually liked most of the motions in this tournament - which only consisted of 4 prelims, semi and final. I don't quite like the motion for semi though, maybe because most of us don't have much understanding about that particular person, and the debate I adjudicated in were slightly below average. And I haven't known the motion for final round as I left UiTM for Xu Vin's birthday celebration dinner at KLCC right after semi.

On Fri and Sat night, in our hotel room, I gave massages to my girls, one by one :) I like giving massages because I like it when people feel good after my "service". I am not a pro. But that's the best I can give. Massage is good way for team bonding, or strength relationship.

On Sat night, the girls asked me to write a message for each of them on their book. That's very sweet of them. These girls are very precious to me. Each of them. I am glad that I get to know them and spend time with them.

14

2010-09-22T10:31:00.000-07:00

With Amy's cubicle next to mine at work, we basically spend about 8 hours a day sitting just two feet from each other, separated by chest-height partition. However, both of us usually communicate with each other via (surprise surprise) Gtalk :)

*type*type*type*

Suddenly, Amy turned around and stared at me in disbelief.

Me: *chuckled* HEY! Don't stare at me like that!

Amy: *whispered* what the..??

Me: *whispered* groans, I don't know la.. :S

And we went back to typing.

But well, that's only when we have the time to do so. Most of the time, either she or me or both of us are occupied. Yet, it does make working less stressful or boring. Haha :)

I will totally miss these moments :)

15

2010-09-22T02:12:00.000-07:00

I'm suffering from abdominal muscles ache since Sunday evening. Push-ups and stomach crunches are no jokes. I can't even cough properly. Whenever I do, I feel the ache immediately. I can't imagine when I want to laugh out loud.

Except that I haven't got the chance to.

Heart has muscles, too. When I say I feel heartache, how do you know if it's a physical or emotional agony?

Kick-boxing training is good for my heart. Having a conflict with the trainer is not.

I feel like a drill has been forced through my heart. But I will still take each session seriously until I've finished them. I am going to miss every bit of punching and kicking, or even the sound of punches, the sweat and muscle aches, the yelling out of pain and later learn to swallow it by bitting lips.

16

2010-09-20T08:24:00.000-07:00

On the dining table:

Pineapple Tart - Raya cookies from Ana

Red Bean Mooncake (Halal) - Mooncake Festival from me

I love diversity - the benefit of living with different races :)

17

2010-09-19T06:22:00.001-07:00

I've finally asked him to stop asking me out.

Nonetheless it's not something I did with a cheerful heart.

18

2010-09-19T05:50:00.000-07:00

Si Qin: Do you like musical drama?

Me: Yes I do! Who doesn't? Haha.

It reminded me of Puteri Gunung Ledang the Musical I attended with Kevin, Xu Vin, Pau, Kok Joo, Fea and Jun Hoe last year. It was my first time watching a performance in Istana Budaya. The show was splendidly done - awesome singings and musics, impressive props and beautiful lyrics. Bahasa Malaysia has never been this beautiful to me. The show was very enjoyable that it made me wanted to fall in love right at that moment, too.

I may not have musical background, but I do love watching theatric performance, orchestra or even just a small live band in a restaurant, be it country, jazz, cosa nova or R&B. I am always amazed at the sound produced when individual notes dances in concert.

HY said it's good that I accepted the invite from Sue Lee because I have less chance to catch a performance in MPO once I move to Subang, compared to him, who will still be in KL for a long time, and can attend MPO performance whenever he feels like it. Heh, at my face, haha!

19

2010-09-19T05:14:00.000-07:00

KL also gives me a lot of heartbreaks. But I don't want zero-heartbreak life from God, but a friend who is willing to spend time with me at times like this. To sit next to me and accompany me, without a word. Or a friend who will hold on to the line even if both of us don't say anything through the phone. Because that is the best conversation ever. When my heart's broken and I don't know how to pick up the pieces, it's just like how I don't know how to pick the words to form sentences.

I've met people. Nice people. Not-very-nice people. The latter let me treasure the former even more. The latter shall be the past. The former shall be in my heart.

You are the former. But you have no idea how much I need you now.

20

2010-09-18T08:30:00.000-07:00

There is only one grand chamber for all MPO performance. I always wonder what would every inches of the chamber feel, to be there for every performances, years over years. Will they bask in the good musics and wear the heavenly notes as a scented coat? Or will they ever get bored of the harps and violin, cello and drums? Will they be inspired or moved, or depressed or sorrowed by every moves of the conductor?

I guess it's like asking how does the moon feel, watching the Earth years after years - civil wars, family affairs, changes in political leaders, rise and fall of economy, heart breaks, natural disaster, the invention of electricity and penicillin, every birth and death.

While all human does, is to live the moment as it is. I love MPO performances, and I like to attend it with friends. It's been a great evening to attend Operatic Gems conducted by Claus Peter Flor with Soprano singer Nicole Cabell, with Sue Lee.

21

2010-09-18T02:24:00.000-07:00

Just came back from my last debate training with the kids in KTSN. I only managed to attend one round as I needed to get back and get ready for MPO at 8:30pm later. And hopefully get something else done as well, such as laundry and wrap books - bought some books during the KVBC and couldn't wait to start reading already. I've started on one but still prefer to wrap it up before continue reading. And I still haven't done with HY's The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis.

Anyway, I wanted to write down my favourite conversations with the debaters. But I can't really remember how those conversations were initiated, or ended. I remembered I laughed a lot throughout all conversations. Like, hilariously. And they're funny effortlessly.

Jeremy: Pau, I've finally found out the shortest way to come to KTSN from Bangi!

Pau: Which is?

Jeremy: come out from istana then straaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiighhhhtt then turn left then it's KTSN!

Dev: Why do you have to say "straaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiighhhhtt" and not just "straight"?

Jeremy: Because the road is really long! It's 9km!

Have I told you Jeremy is indeed a drama king?

And oh, one shouldn't miss the way Kevin and Jeremy have their impromptu talk show, live.

It's very comfortable and warm to be with them. Saturday afternoons should be like this :)

22

2010-09-17T20:19:00.000-07:00

Venue: Ps. Tony's house - Bible study

Jeremy and I are moving on from College CG soon. HY led the group to do a heart-warming farewell for us. Everyone was given some sticky post-it notes and asked to write Jeremy's and my characteristics and follow by a message into respective papers for us both. At the end, everyone shared what they wrote, and I collected the stack of post-it notes from them. Some of them even with drawings! That's very sweet of them, a group of friends I've grown to love ever since the first day I know them.

Amos: (with surprisingly neat handwriting from a guy!)

Although it's been only a short period since I knew you, I can safely say that you're very much a cheerful person (at least from what I observe). You're receptive in meeting new faces from our church. And it's quite impressive that you can join us regularly for CG and occasional lunches as well (though I'm not that regular).

Thank you for my birthday cake especially! Grateful that all remembered my b'day, and you helped buy it! =) thank you.

Sue Ann:

Cher Linn is friendly! :)

It is nice getting to know you and hear you voice out your opinions during CG discussions. I would suppose CG might be even more quiet during discussion sessions without you. Continue to grow in your walk with Christ and shine for Christ wherever you are! =)

Deb:

Bubbly, Friendly, Smiley

Do enjoy the next adventure you are about to face as you embark on a journey of faith. God will guide you ALL DA WAY! *love*

Siaw Lin: (she wrote this impressive spiralling message within minutes!)

Book Lover, Friendly, Appreciative, Listener

Hi Cher Linn, it has been great getting to know you. Can't believe you'r leaving us so fast =( I really enjoyed talking to you and sharing the same interest in books. As you start a new day at the new place, I pray that God will provide you directions and good Christian friends to encourage you in your walk with God... Please remember us in your prayers and visit us whenever you can. Keep in touch!

Tristan: (he called himself King Kong, haha!)

cheerful, loves the Lord, funny, great friend, caring

Although it is just a short time knowing you, it was great. Do keep in touch, stay strong in the Lord and be a testimony wherever you are =)

Andrew:

All the best in your new job in Subang! -Bye-

Eunice:

who loves sharing valuable, informative and personal, very encouraging mature views

thanks for being who you are and being a real friend to me...

Ta Jie, there will surely be a new world once you move on... thank you for sharing your thoughts in and out of CG.

Phoebe:

Cher Linn!! don't go T.T

Although we haven't know each other for very long, I will definitely miss you very very much. You are a very cheerful, bubbly and joyful person and I have learnt a lot from your sharing in CG =) I hope that wherever God leads you, you will be able to shine for Him and bless those around you! Remember to come back and visit us often! (Not too far ma =)) Also remember to rely on God in everything that you do. God bless.

Kok Yee:

Solemn. Dear Sherlynn, All the best in your new working place in Subang. I hope I spelled your name correctly! (haha, wrong spelling! But it's ok ;))

Jeremy:

You have a nice smile and I'm sure that brings out a smile in each person you meet. Continue smiling! =)

Even as you brave yourself into a new environment, always remember to let God lead, guide and walk with you in every aspect of your life. God bless!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. [Proverbs 3:5-6]

V Jin:

Smiles a lot, Think from different point of view, Committed in coming for CG

I don't really know you that well but ALL THE BEST IN SUBANG. Hope you find a good new church that welcomes you.

Elise:

Cheerful + Smart/ Bright = Cher Linn!!

Your presence at CG will be dearly missed.. May you continue to be a blessing wherever you go =)

Hon Yau:

Smart, Teachable & humble spirit, Adventurous

Remain in Jesus. Be rooted in Him. Rejoice in Him. Find your supreme satisfaction in Him. Proclaim Him in your life!

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened on the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. [Colossians 2:6-7]

Aunty Teresa:

1. Characteristics: Smiley, Carries herself well, Mature

2. (also) [Proverbs 3:5-6]

Pastor Tony:

You have a keen interest and commitment in the Lord - may this never wane in the years to come. Go and make a difference for the Lord.

23

2010-09-16T20:16:00.000-07:00

Venue: A pet shop in MidValley

Me: Hey, Ervina, come here *grin*
Ervina: Yeah?
*standing in front of glass cage which houses a few adorable, fluffy rabbits
Me: During one of my lab sessions, we dissected one of these *still grinning*
Ervina: =.="

***

Venue: Grand Ballroom, Tropicana Golf Club & Country Resort (on the phone)

Me: Hi, Ervina! Hey, sorry, just now I was at the Bible conference I told you about.
Ervina: No problem. So it's finished already?
Me: Yup.
Ervina: So are you holier now?
Me: =.="

24

2010-09-14T09:20:00.000-07:00

13th September. My birthday. Every year. There are always ways to celebrate it :) This year had been pretty interesting. I celebrates it with God's presence. I mean, He doesn't even bother to be "subtle", haha!

During Raya break, I was back in BM. Family celebrated my birthday the night before I board the train back to KL. It was a lovely meal with family :) My whole family was at home that weekend. Thank God for my family members, all are healthy and well.

On Monday morning on my way to work, it rained heavily! I reached office dripping all over the place. Even with umbrella, the only part of me that was not wet was my chest, because I hold my bag tightly in front of my chest. It has not rained in the morning (around 8am) for a very long time. Today, it surprisingly happened. But I made it on time, with an unexplainable grin on my face. As I was fighting my way to office, I was reminded that: if God can bring you through the rain, He can bring you through everything. It IS not easy to walk through the rain. Every steps is gingerly placed and moved. My mind has to be strong and focus in getting to destination. Preserverance and determination on not to give up. And only with strength from God that I am able to stay strong, and remain joyful at the same time :)

Lunch was treated by colleagues. It's been many times I told you how much I love this bunch of people. What is there to like about them, really? I can't quite place it, but I like them! TanKingYee are you reading this? :p

(Edit: NO, they are an evil bunch of people. Amy didn't want to tell me where they are bringing me for lunch celebration. And then she tricked me that they're bringing me to NZ - a nearby mamakstall, a MAMAKSTALL - for lunch. And others joined her plan. She knew it's going to kill me if I wanted to know something badly and NOT getting the answer. Evil! Hahaha)

Dinner was with HY. And treated by him as well. Then together with other friends, we attended Klang Valley Bible Conference. Tough stuff, learned something new, bought 2 new books. Met some old friends and got to know some new people (Please tell me how could I not enjoy this day? :D). And lastly, HY sent me back. We talked on many things and I enjoyed the conversation.

And more than 260 birthday wishes on Facebooks, a couple of SMS-es, calls, cards and presents!

I have been blessed with an eventful and contented day! To me, it's totally a blast!

The best part is, the events do not just stop there. the KVBC is a three-night event, and I've had activities planned for the rest of the week. It's like my birthday celebration has been extended to become my birth-week celebration, haha! And I'm totally loving every part of it :)

Lord, I don't know what to say. I am a sinner, but You've been merciful to me. Thank You for Your love and grace, for the past 24 years. I am not who I wish to be, I am not who I ought to be, but I'm sure I am not who I was, and it's by God's grace that I am who I am today.

There was once I asked Ervina: will there really be someone who'd call me just to hear my voice? (I used to have that someone but that's history now.). She assured me that there will be. And I asked Jesus if it's true. Jesus spoke to me: "Yes, there will be. Because I am that someone."

And it reminded me that praying is talking to someone who is already talking to you. And God does listen to our prayers. God is so in love with us that He is always delighted to hear from us. Lord, I want to fall deeper in love with You. To want to be thirsty for Your words. May Your presence guide me to grow towards You, to serve Your kingdom, in years to come.

In Lord Jesus' name, Amen.

25

2010-09-12T03:38:00.000-07:00

Met Jolene and Keh Len at the bus stop in front of KLCC after BookFest.

Jolene whispered something into Keh Len's ear.

KL: Huh, really? Where.. (turned around) huh, Cher Linnnn!

Me: Hey Keh Len! Hey Jolene!

KL: What are you doing here?

Me: Bookfair! *lifted my "rewards"*. You girls? Eh, you guys went there too *notice the same plastic bags in their hands*

KL: Yeah. You came here after work is it?

Me: Yup.

KL: How do you come here?

Me: I walk from Bukit Bintang.

KL: WALK from Bukit Bintang?!

Me: Yeah, actually it's quite near, especially around evening when it's not very hot, it's a pleasant trip.

KL: I see.

Me: Oh, just now I saw Gan at the bookfair!

KL: He's still there?! Wow, he's been there for a long time!

Me: Really? What time did you see him?

KL: around 5pm something.

Me: Oh, yeah.. I saw him around 8pm. BTW, so you two know each other?

KL: Yeah, we're coursemates.

Me: Oh, I always thought Jolene is still in second year! Haha!

KL: Not fair, how come she gets to be a second year while I stay a third year..

Me: Well, I don't know.

KL: How do you know each other?

Me: hmm.. It would be during CF camp.

Jolene: Yeah, the CF camp.

Me: How long have you been waiting here?

Jolene: You mean, here at this bus stop? *checked watch* 15 minutes

Me: OK la, not too bad.

Jolene: Just now we were very blur. Before this we waited at another bus stop for 30 minutes, and the only bus that passed by was B114 to Maluri.

Me: Huh? Another bus stop? Haha!

KL: Yeah, we got confused, haha. And we finally asked the bus driver, and he told us to wait at the bus stop in front, which is here.

Me: I see. Haha, so adorable la you two.

Jolene: We are always very blur. But Keh Len is more blur, hahaha!

*on the bus, with Keh Len sitting between Jolene and I*

Me: Pss, Jolene, is there anyone going after Keh Len?

Jolene: Hmm, not that I know of..

KL: HEY you two are literally speaking behind my back! And I can understand Mandarin ok!

Me: Opps, hahahaha, ok so, Keh Len, is there anyone going after you?

Hahaha :)

There is something special about Keh Len that I can't quite place. Something that remind me of a sea of sunflowers that let you put down your guard. Many of us observe that she is very good in giving speeches on ethical issues, we call it "emo speech". I'd say, those speeches are just so Keh Len. Many times I actually believe that Keh Len herself genuinely believes in what she says about being human with a heart made of flesh and blood. I guess that's it. Keh Len, the girl-next-door whose heart beats with love and passion for life.

26

2010-09-12T03:37:00.000-07:00

It's only Sunday early evening and I've had plans for all my coming weekdays. I'm loving my life! =)

27

2010-09-09T00:17:00.000-07:00

Min Fei stood in front of my cubicle in office, lifted the package of mooncakes to my eye level.

Me: Yay! Thanks, Min Fei!
MF: You're welcome. HY kept your RM0.60 change.
Me: Oh? Hahaha, oh yeah, the change. Nevermind la.
MF: He probably gave it to Jeremy already anyway.
Me: Nah, Jeremy has gone back to Ipoh. Oh, you know Jeremy also? Because he's more junior than your batch..
MF: Yeah, I know him, we're all from the same school what..
Me: I see.
MF: HY told me he has counted and there are four mooncakes inside, don't curi makan and give you what's left.
Me: Hahaha! OH, probably I can call him and ask him why it's only an empty box!
MF: Yeah, let's pull a prank on him! Quick, text him!
Me: Hahaha, you crazy fella!

Later, via sms:
HY: Hi, some of us are planning to go hiking at Bukit Tabur on Friday morning, 6:30am, weather permitting. Interested? :)
Me: Ugh, I'll be at home already! :( It's ok la, you guys have fun! Thanks for inviting. And thanks for helping me with the mooncakes :)
HY: You're welcome! And thanks for the book too. Hard cover somemore. Hope it's not too costly!
Me: Haha, don't be fooled by the looks :p just to hint that you should pay at least one visit to bookfest. still, the price may be cheap, not the content of the book. hee hee
HY: You are really tempting me to go to the fest... see how, may go after work today. Haha.
Me: Yeah, do some warm up with your muscles by carrying books before climbing Tabor tomorrow :p going with Siaw Lin, right?
Me: Erm, about the bookfair, actually it's not as impressive as last year, though. The books that I want aren't there, only picked up some books I wouldn't buy at normal price. Haha. And maybe because I was a bit rush, I didn't spend much time to check out books I haven't heard of, either. Still, go have a look la :)
Me: If you guys are going bookfest tonight, what time? I could meet you guys up a while in KLCC before I go back home tonight. Haha. Train is at 10pm anyway.
HY: Won't be going tonight already. Having dinner at home so don't want to be too late.

28

2010-09-08T23:23:00.000-07:00

There are some people whom I should not go out for lunch with when what I have is only an hour break. Time flies when I am with them (In other words, I age so fast when they're around! :p) It makes me reluctant to leave for work.

:) Pau, Kevin and Xu Vin came over for lunch with me in Pavilion today. I'm very touched and happy to see them.

29

2010-09-08T01:38:00.000-07:00

From: Tan King Yee
Sent: Wednesday, September 08, 2010 4:36 PM
To: Abdullah
Cc: Tang Cher Linn
Subject: RE:

Seminggu macam setahun tau? Haha
Enjoy ya!
_____________________________________________
From: Abdullah
Sent: Wednesday, September 08, 2010 4:35 PM
To: Tan King Yee
Subject: RE:

Jgn sedih mcm selesema je mb menangis kot :(
I cuti seminggu je
_____________________________________________
From: Tan King Yee
Sent: Wednesday, September 08, 2010 4:32 PM
To: Abdullah
Cc: Tang Cher Linn
Subject: RE:

I kan penolong pengetua !! -.-
_____________________________________________
From: Abdullah
Sent: Wednesday, September 08, 2010 4:31 PM
To: Tan King Yee
Subject: RE:

TQ Cikgu kecik :]
_____________________________________________
From: Tan King Yee
Sent: Wednesday, September 08, 2010 4:30 PM
To: Abdullah
Cc: Tang Cher Linn
Subject: RE:

Selamat Hari Raya :D
_____________________________________________
From: Tang Cher Linn
Sent: Wednesday, September 08, 2010 4:08 PM
To: Tan King Yee
Subject: FW:
______________________________________________
From: Abdullah
Sent: Wednesday, September 08, 2010 4:07 PM
To: Tang Cher Linn
Subject: RE:

Sama je suma cikgu kecik & sy cikgu besar . Huahahah……:D ;]
_____________________________________________
From: Tang Cher Linn
Sent: Wednesday, September 08, 2010 4:06 PM
To: Abdullah
Cc: Tan King Yee
Subject: RE:

Cikgu kecik?! Hahaa saya guru disiplin la :p itu tankingyee adalah penolong pengetua :p
_____________________________________________
From: Abdullah
Sent: Wednesday, September 08, 2010 4:04 PM
To: Tang Cher Linn
Subject: RE:

TQ cikgu kecik .
_____________________________________________
From: Tang Cher Linn
Sent: Wednesday, September 08, 2010 4:02 PM
To: Abdullah
Cc: Tan King Yee
Subject:

Half an hour to go! Selamat menyambut Hari Raya Aidilfitri! Makan kuih raya banyak-banyak! ;-)

Thanks and regards,
Cher Linn, Tang

30

2010-09-07T19:28:00.000-07:00

It was a pleasant day in the city. Two individuals asked me for direction on separate occasion that day.

First: From Sg. Wang Plaza to Low Yat Plaza
I can count with my fingers how often I have visited Low Yat Plaza in my entire life. No matter how many times I've walked the back street in Bukit Bintang area, I still cannot trust myself to arrive wherever I want to go untill I finally reach the place. And yes, I still get lost in Sg. Wang Plaza.

I was on my way to Berjaya Time Square passing by the front door of Sg. Wang Plaza.
Tourist: Excuse me, may I know how to get to Low Yat Plaza?
Me: Oh.. er.. It's just right behind this building.. *pointing at the entrance to Sg. Wang Plaza*
Tourist: er..
(I know I had not been helpful! But I really not sure the direction to go to LYP through SW, which I think is the fastest way?)
Me: Oh, are you alone? Or are you waiting for your friends?
Tourist: Er.. Yes, LYP?
Me: No, I mean, are you with your wife or girlfriend, or anyone?
(sounds kinda wrong to ask this question, no? sigh)
Tourist: Sorry I don't understand.. It's ok, it's ok.
Me: No. no! Because if you're not waiting for anyone, you can follow me now, I'm going to a place that will pass by LYP, I can bring you to LYP now.
Tourist: Oh, Ok. Thank you very much!

And we walked. I happened to use a new route that day as well, as I think going to BTS via SW during lunch time is not a great idea. Along the way, I kept hoping I won't humiliate myself, by volunteering to show the direction yet got lost together. Haha.

In the end, we didn't get lost! And we went our separate ways, leaving me a happy person :)

Second: From Wisma Cosway to KLCC
It's just a short distance. After work, I decided to walk to KLCC for BookFest from my office in Bukit Bintang, passing by Pavilion. This guy parked his car in Kenanga building and wanted to walk there, but he's confused with the direction towards there amongst the high rise buildings around. Sometimes, I do, too. But it was just a day before that I discover a path that enable me to get back to the right track even if I've made a wrong turning at the beginning of the road.

He was walking in front of me and suddenly stopped and looked across the car pack, hesitating if he should walk back to the original point. I asked him if he wanted to walk through the car park, and I showed him the "newly discovered" path of mine. We walked through the car pack, had a pleasant chat. He was suppose to had dinner in Pavilion but since it was buka puasa time, all the restaurant were full house. Then we parted as I walked towards KLCC, him to Kenanga building where he parked his car.

Again, it left me feeling happy, to be able to show direction to others (when myself is a very geographically challenged person, haha!).

31

2010-09-07T07:29:00.000-07:00

Trainer: You mau train dengan Melvin, kan?

Me: Ya.. bila you balik lepas raya?

Trainer: Next Thurs 16th September. Hari Malaysia saya ada.

Me: Thursday? Hm.. Oh! Jadi Thurday itu saya ada training, kan?

Trainer: Ya.

Me: So next Tuesday saya train dengan Melvin la?

Trainer: Boleh je, saya tak kisah pun.

Me: .. Oh, Ab boleh bagi Melvin punya nombor?

Trainer: Kenapa pula tadi tak mintak kat dia?

Me: Tadi dia rushing ma.

Trainer: Ok. 01x-xxxxxxx

Me: Thanks!

Trainer: OK, nak pergi ambil barang kejap.

Me: You Khamis flight pagi pukul berapa?

Trainer: 7am

Me: Oh wow.

Trainer: Kenapa? You nak hantar ka?

Me: Hahaha, nanti tak payah balik dah.

Trainer: Tidor je la kat sana, nanti lepas I terbang you terus datang kerja.

Me: Hahaha.. Oh, selamat hari raya!

Trainer: You mau bagi duit raya, kan?

Me: Eh, kenapa pula saya yang kena bagi duit raya? Bukan Ab ke yang kena bagi? Ab yang celebrate mah.

Trainer: Ya la, memang saya celebrate, jadi you yang kena bagi duit raya kat saya supaya saya boleh beli barang untuk celebrate.

Me: Hahahaha, lebih la Ab ni. Saya lagi muda dari Ab, jadi Ab kena bagi duit raya kat saya.

Trainer: Tak, saya sudah cakap, saya yang celebrate, so saya kena terima duit raya.

Me: *burst out laughing*

Actually, I was suppose to be mad at him over something which I now think is really trivial.

32

2010-09-06T06:58:00.000-07:00

Me: Von, could you help me to tekan a bit, please?

Yvonne: OK.

Me: I use your bed ok?

Yvonne: OK.

*I lie down on the bed, face down*

Yvonne: Where?

Me: Here. At the waist. Yeah, that's right.

Yvonne: Tekan kuat-kuat?

Me: Yes, kuat-kuat.

*Yvonne's hands applied pressure kao kao at the agnonising area*

Me: Ohhhhh, feel so good! You're good!

*Yvonne tried at the area around*

Me: Yeah, that's the spot! Ohhhhhh....OHHH

Yvonne: OK ka?

Me: Yeah, so nice...

*Yvonne worked on the area for a while, and me indulging in the ultimate pleasure of massage*

Me: *sigh of relieve* I'm very much relieved now, thanks a lot!

Yvonne: You're welcome :)

Have I told you Yvonne has skillful hands?

33

2010-09-05T07:10:00.000-07:00

HY: Have you been to any bazaar?

Me: There's one right opposite my office, I always pass by it to go to Monorail. So yup, I've been to bazaar :) But I can't really eat the food from there. Many fatty, fried stuff.

HY: You can't or you don't want to?

Me: I.. should not. And even if I'm very much tempted to buy them, I always afraid that my trainer will catch me red handed buying those food! Haha!

HY: Yeah. So your trainer advises you on food intake as well?

Me: Yup.

HY: I see. It's not just going to gym but also other things in everyday life we have to take care as well for good health.

Me: And to follow them religiously as well.

HY: Yeah, haha. Did he tell you anything about sleeping time as well?

Me: No. But these things, we know lah, must have enough sleep, regular time to sleep, etc.

HY: Yeah, but sometimes we seem to have so many things at hand that we have to sacrifice sleeping time.

Me: There's this hormone called leptin, which influences our appetite and energy intake base on the amount of energy left in our body. But if our sleep cycle has been disturbed, the release of this hormone does not reflect the actual energy need of our body, and we tend to eat more. There has been a study that shows teenagers tend to eat more fried food after sleep deprivation.

HY: Oh yeah?

Me: Yeah. Still, I don't know why I feel like I'm always running out of time, always have been rushing here and there, haha.

HY: Well, maybe life in a city is like this. And city gives us opportunity to get more things done.

Me: True. And that's exactly why I love my life in this city!

34

2010-08-31T07:46:00.001-07:00

I'm living in a place where most of my favourite people are living in.

Just this afternoon, I've bumped into two separate groups of friends while I was meeting two of my favourite girls on earth for dinner.

After kick-boxing training (ok la, that trainer is/was on my favourite people list also lah, sometimes), I went to KLCC to meet up with Ruqayyah and Hafizah later. I bumped into some of my ex-colleagues from my previous part-time job. They were having their break time at food court and invited me to sit down with them. So I did, and had a really heart-lightening time catching up with them. Puda will only be around till next month. 16th Sept to be exact, and he does not plan to continue his contract anymore. Rajesh will still be around. But Surendra will only be around till next year. AND Giriman has a girlfriend! I seriously couldn't contain my surprise and excitement. Surendra kept suggesting me to go to Giriman's table and say hi to him, and act as if I was his ex-gf by asking questions such as "Did you change your hp number? I kept calling you but couldn't get through.", "Why didn't you pick up my call anymore?" or "Hi Giriman, long time no see, how have you been? I miss you." - in front of his girlfriend. Haha, I believe these will get myself murdered. So I just went to greet him casually. But it was fun! And Giriman is a pleasant person to hang around with because he could be quite funny at times. AND I couldn't believe Surendra actually gave me those suggestions as opening line, haha!

After that, met Jauhari (Joe), my former coursemate in university, in Kinokuniya. And since Azrul, my another former coursemate, is working there today, so yeah, we had a little chat, too. Jauhari is now working some where around KL Sentral, serving his bondage for his scholarship during degree. It's lovely to bump into old acquaintances and catch up. Don't you just love to meet people you know and ask how they are and what they're doing these days? Or is it just me?

Of course, meeting Ruqayyah and Hafizah was the highlight of the day. I totally love the conversations we had, the laughter and joy, the peaceful meal and bus ride home. And the awesome visit to Kinokuniya! But I still feel like there are many things we have yet to update each other yet! Such as their thesis progress and raya preparation and their feelings to be a final year student, etc. And the presents! It made me guilty as I did not prepare or buy anything for them but Ruqayyah gave me two books and a bread (lol) and Hafizah gave me a fridge magnet from Australia! Side note: I doubt my trainer will read my post but to be on the safe side, I shall just keep quiet on what we had for dinner. Alright, girls? ;-)

35

2010-08-30T18:22:00.000-07:00

One of the good stuff that exists in KL is the variety of bookstores to visit. Within Bukit Bintang itself, there's a Borders in Berjaya Time Square, an MPH in BB Plaza (accessible via Sungei Wang Plaza as well) and Times in Pavilion. Even if I've always thought that both of these MPH and Times bookstores here are less impressive as compared to Borders, it surprises me that most of the time I wander into it, I won't leave empty-handed. I even know a part of Times in Pavilion so well that I can close my eyes and walk myself to the literature section, with comics section (where I got my two Garfield comic books) right next to it.

A few blocks away from Bukit Bintang area is Kinokuniya in KLCC, the one I want to marry to. Not only because it's the biggest bookstore in Malaysia, but also because it's the only bookstore that offers jacketing service for books bought there. I always drowned in words in text as I visit it. Rows after rows of bookshelves, with patrons flipping pages after pages, I guess these contribute to the smell of books in it. I've always loved the smell of books published in recycled papers. And I love the unspoken culture of sitting wherever you like and start reading. Because stumbling upon an interesting book is like fate. One may even have not heard of the book or author before, but he or she may keep you turning the pages! Sometimes, all I want to do is have a little retreat in a corder of a bookstore and comfortably chew the words, be transported into the content of a book and undisturbed.

36

2010-08-28T08:04:00.000-07:00

MMU Ramadan IV 2010

Played board games with Darryl, Prethivan, and Thiru, with John and Kevin around.

And Prethivan lost :p

Well, we played board game because we were bored. We were bored because the emo dude/drama king Jeremy had not arrived ~~with our breakfast~~ .

37

2010-08-25T22:34:00.000-07:00

In June's car

June: Hmm.. what to get..

Me: ..him as a birthday present?

June: *dreamy* yes, haha :)

Me:.. hmm, since when I can complete your sentence, huh?

June: *laughs* That just sounds wrong!

Me: When I finally meet Joash I'm gonna tell him "Hey, I can complete June's sentence, you know? You've got competition!" Hahaha!

June: *dreamy laughs till I don't remember when*

:)

38

2010-08-23T02:45:00.000-07:00

I am currently staying with a Chinese, a Dusun, and two Malay girls. Despite staying in the same house, we actually seldom see each other. Especially Ana. She is working as a nurse in IJN, and her working shift is not fixed. Another Malay girl is Ina, who works in Grand Season Hotel. I seldom see her because both of us always go out with our own friends, so are always not in. Yvonne is a Dusun, whom I've mentioned a few times in this blog already. Yup, she is the one with the skillful hands and biggest heart. Another one is Ch'ng who is a Paed in HKL.

There were a few times, when I finally meet Ana in the house, we spent hours talking to each other, even if we both were tired and preparing to sleep already. Or we can just watch TV together, commenting about what we were watching. I am not a big fan of Indon dramas. But man, those guys were really cute and good looking! And the girls as well!

Or the both of us will go to Yvonne's room and disturb her. Although we seldom see or spend time with each other, whenever we do, it's just so natural. The connection and bonding are genuine and heart-warming. I'd say Yvonne knows my personality the best. The good ones and the bad ones.

I miss the time spent with them.

39

2010-08-21T00:17:00.000-07:00

One group of people I enjoy spending time with is my cell group in EFC.

We just celebrated Amos'es birthday last night, after our Bible study. I happened to be able to help Evon to buy the tiramisu birthday cake from Baker's Cottage in Wangsa Maju yesterday on behalf of our CG. I always like the excitement in choosing presents/cakes and planning for surprises. There wasn't a big surprise that needed a lot of planning last night though. But secretly lighting the candles in kitchen with other friends when the guys were praying at the dining table right outside the kitchen was challenging.

Amos turned 19 this year, hence we had to light up 10 candles. After lighting them, and we were all hyped and ready to bring out the surprise, we realised that they were still in the middle of their prayer. Hon Yau went on and on leading the prayer, and we kept watching the candles which became shorter and shorter, with their wax dripping on the cake, the heat from candles were melting the chocolate strips on the cake as well. And Hon Yau still went on and on... hahaha :)

Eventually they're done, and we sang birthday song right after that, and the usual candles-blowing and pictures-taking and cake-cutting events. Thanks to Amos, no mamak food for supper after CG this week. And thanks to Joanna, who made jelly mooncakes for us! I've never tried jelly mooncake, so it's interesting for me. Joanna indeed has skillful hands!

Finally, Hon Yau gave me a ride home as usual. I always enjoy the nice conversation during the ride. Most of the time, that's my last conversation of the day with human before I hit the sack. I thank God for such timely and pleasant way to end my busy and tiring working days of the week and prepare myself for weekends ahead.

It's become my routine on Friday evenings for a few months already. And I still look forward for CG and Bible study every Friday. This is a group of people I will miss dearly.

40

2010-08-19T09:10:00.000-07:00

I like it when my colleagues make fun of my Cantonese dialect :)

It's weird, to like them doing that. Because I grew up speaking Cantonese to my father and everyone from my paternal family. And I've never mixed up with Teochew dialect when I communicate with my mum and everyone from maternal family. These dialects are part of my identity as well, and something exclusive to my family members and relatives. I never use dialects to communicate with peers until I start working. It's a big thing to me, to connect with my colleagues with bonds this exclusive and personal.

But as I started to fit into their circle, I find the friendship built worthed redefining exclusivity. I love them. I love the way I don't have to worry about taking side for office politics because there's none (at my level, least). I love the time we had lunch together and talk about book fair, sales, kids and schools, vacation trips, etc.

I love them making fun of my Cantonese :)

41

2010-08-17T22:16:00.000-07:00

One thing that I really like about the city I'm staying in now is the convenience to travel around without owning a car. Well, relatively convenient, for someone who's a technophobe, decidophobe and geographically challenged. I am both a person who satisfies with what I have around me, and at the same time, cannot wait to try out more things available. Almost everything I need to survive is easily accessible and abundant in choices, public transport is a pleasant blessing. Many activities made possible because of the high expectation by the population living in this city which pushes the boudaries of every systems that work here.

And because of this, many actitvities are organised here because it is easy to get the crowd. I love happening cities. I love interesting events. Events which I may or may not be attending. But nonetheless, I love the fact that there are many new ideas flood this place and challenge us to keep up with the flow.

And the people! The wonderful people I manage to bump into and meet up, again and again.

Five years ago, when I first set foot in this city as a student, I wouldn't have believed I actually say this out loud now. I am beginning to see the beauty of this city which I once thought to be pathethically empty and soul-less. And I am loving what I have seen and experienced thus far.

Thank you, Lord.

42

2010-08-14T09:15:00.000-07:00

Event: IIU Open 2010

Incident: Buying ice-creams

Me: Isabel! Are you getting yourself an ice-cream or not?? (I've asked this for the N-th times)

Isabel: Are you? I feel like to, but..

Me: Yeah, it's kinda wrong to eat ice-cream in the middle of the day in public, in IIU!

Isabel: Oh the ice-cream looks so good!

Me: Rawr. Maybe we'll have to hide at some where to eat it?

Isabel: Toilet?

Me: Hahahaha!

KOK JOO: Oh no, you don't want to eat ice-cream in toilet, that just sounded so wrong!

Isabel: But we weren't thinking about that!

Me (towards the cashier): Kak, kalau kami beli ais kream, ada tempat kami boleh makan?

Cashier: ..(smiling) boleh je makan kat mana-mana.

Me: Oh, haha *still unconvinced*scan around corridor for some nice spot*

Me: Isabel! How about that corner?

Isabel: Yeah, looks ok.

Me: Yay! Faster buy ice-cream!

:D Ice-cream in a hot, boring afternoon while waiting for debate to start. Awesome! We were laughing at yourselves for being so anal about eating in public during fasting month and the fight (and eventually the failure) against temptation. The joy to find someone who crazed for the same thoughts. The whole incident was just so memorable. If I have the chance to do it again, I'll still pick Isabel to repeat this incident :)

KF Training

2010-08-12T08:24:00.000-07:00

Me: I can't have training on every Friday night because I have my Bible study.

Trainer: OK. How about this Saturday?

Me: Oh, this weekend is unavailable because starting from Friday I'll be going for a debate tournament. I am taking a day off from work for it :)

Trainer: What time does the debate start?

Me: I think around noon.

Trainer: How about we catch a movie on Friday morning before your debate?

Me: Hmm, I think it should be able to fit in. OK.

Trainer: Well, since you have time for a movie, why not you just come for a kick-boxing training session then?

Me: ..... *burst out laughing*

Sick

2010-08-10T04:38:00.000-07:00

It means very much to me when someone knows that I'm sick and wishes me get well soon. When one is attacked by sickness and feeling vulnerable physically and emotionally, the best treatment is your attitude towards the patient. I don't want a doctor who treats me because I am his job. Please treat me because you really care.

I wonder if a doctor can't be nice to a friend who is sick, would he be able to be nice to his patient who is a stranger to him?

On being nice: How to tell the difference if a person is nice to you because he is generally a nice guy, or because he values you as a friend? Boy I really wish to know.

I don't know what caused the diarrhea, but I am sincerely thankful for toilets available. If one day I have to divorce with washing machine, toilet will be my next target.

I also think I should take it as a sign to slow down on my busy schedule and actually listen to God. It's tiring to work with own strength. But Lord, please grant me over-flowing strength of Yours to fulfill my purpose.

Chinese

2010-07-29T09:04:00.000-07:00

He is not. For the N-th times, too. He is a Bajau.

Is this a record breaking list or what?

Again

2010-07-24T08:47:00.000-07:00

I guess I've lost count of the days we went out together, for movie and meal and shopping, for great company and heart-lifting conversations, and ends with a comfortable ride home for me. Just the both of us. Again, it's totally not a date, for the N-th times.

You'll always laugh at me, for reason I still do not know. But you always make me laugh as well. We never run out of conversation topics, until we're really exhausted at the end of the day, and decide to just enjoy the silence. For many people, moment of silence can be awkward. But it isn't for us.

This time, you actually brought up something we did during our last outing - the restaurant we've been to, the menu and the Jazz musics. It amazed me because you thought it's something worthed to mention again, and the fact that you actually still remembered the details.

And you said that I've known you well. At least the decidophobia part of you. You always make me get so excited to see you again. And when you're right in front of me, you make me feel so calm and peaceful. You always do, ever since the first time I know you. How do you do that? :)

Thank God for a warm person like you. Thank God for a wonderful Saturday evening spent with you. I think, the farewell-party ride I mentioned a few months ago, is at its peak today. It is crucial for me to properly close the chapter of you in my life before I move on.

Exhausted but happy,

深呼吸

2010-07-21T07:58:00.000-07:00

最近都过得很充实。我的确是较忙了点，每天放工后都有活动。连看书的时间也渐渐少了。偶尔会上网看些文章或报导。现在，搭巴士或地铁时是我唯一阅读的机会。但有时连在这种情况下我也累得只想偷闲发呆。

我。。一直以来都在想，我们分别的那一天会是怎样的呢?是在什么情况下或什么原因使我们必须道别?自从这年头，我已经较认真地考虑放下。我曾相信，只要慢慢的准备好心情，总有一天我会勇敢的面对那一天的到来。这么久了，我真的觉得那段感情已经慢慢变淡了。放下你们似乎是如此轻松的一件事。

直到今晚，你们俩发生口角。我听了，心马上就乱了。我是第一次如此的分心，什么都听不近耳了，脑子里想的，就是要如何让你们俩和好。因为我当时的心情不止是心乱如麻，也是心如刀割。因为手心手背都是肉。原来，我仍然是如此在乎你们。你们仍然在我的心里拥有如此重大的意义。认识你们好几年了，一起度过了这么多难关，我真不知道如何能不爱你们。

天下没有不散之宴席。那一天，总会到来。而我自己也知道日子已近在眼前了。不过，我踏出去的每一个步伐将代着你们曾经给我的温暖和勇气。

过路人

2010-07-20T07:56:00.000-07:00

又是这种不规律的心跳，特别在乎你的感觉，迫不及待地想再见到你的心情。想念你，却开不了口。在你面前得时时刻刻留意自己的举动，才不会流露出那非凡的感情。这一切，都是如此的陌生，却也如此的熟悉。想念你的时候，总令我嘴角微笑起来。看来，我又中箭了。

这一切，应该很快就过了吧? 就像往常一样，一瞬间，这振奋人心的经验就只剩回忆。而你，也只是个过路人。

Aww..

2010-07-16T04:26:00.000-07:00

Hey, look up!

2010-07-09T09:02:00.000-07:00

These two pictures of clouds are definitely word-thieves. I lost my words to describe them. I stumbled upon them both on the same day at friends' Facebook profiles, and their similarities really knocked me over :) Awesome God, Awesome Works:

1. from Wye Li's:

2. from Eunice Tee's Tabur trip:

Bazinga!

2010-07-04T00:44:00.000-07:00

Jim Parsons

A Note

2010-06-23T22:17:00.000-07:00

Naoto Kan replaces Yukio Hatoyama, likewise for Julia Gillard and Kevin Rudd. Abang Syuk's wedding was in March, while Ariff's on 1st of May.

Then only I realise what this blog is for. It's to record the changes in me since I've made a mistake, by jumping unto an unstable platform when I'm already on a secure one. I always thought it's not a mistake after all, no matter how I couldn't explain the heartaches even if I was the one who initiated it. Maybe it is not a mistake. But you're still the man who understands me the most, and I miss being the girl I was when I was with you.

You did break a promise. But that's because I broke your heart first, for too many times that I shall not be forgiven. Yet if there is still forever a soft spot for me in your heart, I'd be forever grateful.

I'm sorry, Lazybud.

Sign,
Lovebud

lungs

2010-06-19T09:07:00.000-07:00

THIS weekend had been driving me nuts! Ok, maybe it's exaggerated but I did feel like screaming at times, out of this explosive kind of joy I am blessed with.

1. came back BM with June on Thurs, had a nice time catching up with each other. Really, really nice meeting her again

2. had char koay teow

3. watched World Cup matches with dad and made jokes about vuvuzela

4. brought parents to Chili's in Gurney Plaza

5. mesmerised by Penang Island, again

6. dad bought durians simply because I sorta said "Durians smell good!" That's my lovely dad, always puts us before himself ;-)

7. talked to friends over the phone and actually asking them how they're doing at this point of time. the fact that I actually still have time and the technology to do so whenever I miss them.

8. sleeping and waking up in my own room

And something else which I'm really excited about, yet I'm not making it public yet. Hopefully those whom I revealed it to will keep it with them a little longer, at least till things are finalised and confirmed.

Like, OMG I really feel like screaming my lungs out right now. breathe. breathe. Like, really, scream.

Oh no, bus going back to KL will be departing in 10 hours time :( I'm already missing home.

My Little World in a Cup

2010-06-18T03:02:00.000-07:00

No, I'm not a total anti-football person. I wasn't that enthusiastic about World Cup as it kicked off because I didn't have a reliable "sourse" for live broadcast of the games and maybe, not in the mood for it, yet.

But as I reached home on Thurs night, Argentina and South Korea were playing on the field, with a referee from Columbia. Both dad and I were glued in front of the screen.

Me: "Ohh no.. Oh no! He's given a yellow card!"

We watched the Argentinian player trying to defend himself, explaining to the Columbian referee about the situation, but the latter insisted with his decision.

Dad: "I wonder what language do the both of them use to communicate?"

And I bursted out laughing :)

Dinglehopper!

2010-06-11T22:06:00.000-07:00

HAHAHAHAHAHA, SERIOUSLY! I can't stop laughing while watching this video clip! It's for anyone who knows the words of The Little Mermaid by heart:

Don't Stop Speaking

2010-06-09T08:33:00.000-07:00

In recent years, much has been made of the idea that humans possess a "language instinct": infants easily learn to speak because all languages follow a set of rules built into their brains. While there is no doubt that human thinking influences the form that language takes, if [Nicholas] Evans [of the Australian National University in Canberra and [Stephen] Levinson [of the Max Planck Institute for Psycholinguistics in Nijmegen, the Netherlands] are correct (that language diversity is the "crucial fact for understanding the place of language in human cognition"), language in turn shapes our brains. This suggests that humans are more diverse than we thought, with our brains having differences depending on the language environment in which we grew up. And that leads to a disturbing conclusion: every time a language becomes extinct, humanity loses an important piece of diversity.

***

The more we learn about languages, the more apparent the differences become - "Towel of Babel":

1. Some languages have 11 distinct sounds with which to make words, while others have 144. Sign languages have none. As sounds that were once thought impossible are discovered, the idea that there is a fixed set of speech sounds is being abandoned.

2. Some languages use a single word where others need an entire sentence. In English, for example, you might say "I cooked the wrong meat for them again". In the Indigenous Australian language Bininj Gun-wok you would say "abanyawoihwarrgahmarneganjginjeng". The more we know about language processing, the less likely it seems that these two structures are processed in the same way.

3. Even plurals are not straightforward. The Kiowa people of North America use a plural marker that means "of unexpected number". Attached to "leg", the marker means "one or more than two". Attached to "stone", it means "just two".

4. Some major word classes are not found in all languages. English, for example, lacks "ideophones" where diverse feelings about an event and its participants are jammed into one word - as in "rawa-dawa" from the Mundari language of the Indian subcontinent meaning "the sensation of suddenly realising you can do something reprehensible, and no one is there to witness it".

***

Languages have become extinct throughout history, but today more are threatened than ever. Around 200 are critically endangered, with fewer than 10 speakers. With each one that is lost we lose a piece of human diversity.

***

After reading this article title Talking Heads in NewScientist (vol 206 No 2762, 29th May 2010), I remembered a conversation I had with my Dusun housemate. Being an indigenous resident from Sabah, she was exposed to many languages of other indigenous people when she was back in hometown, such as Kadazan and Lun Bawang. She also can distinguish Bidayuh's from Iban's though both are from Sarawak. But she told me, less people are able to communicate in their mother tongues now, especially those who live in KK, and other big cities. They did have classes for their mother tongues as elective subjects in school. But encouragement wasn't there for students to take up elective subjects like this. And people from West Malaysia brushes everything about them aside with a term "Dan Lain-Lain".

If Mandarin was only an elective subject in my school, I wouldn't have bothered to take it, either, let alone went for tuition for it. Believe it or not, the tuition fee I spent for BM was much more than fees for other subjects, and even though I took Mandarin in SPM, I've never went for tuition for it. Thank God I got an A1 for my BM in SPM (I told myself I'd be really mad at myself if I only got an A2 for my BM, after all the karangan & rumusan I wrote and past years questions and Skor A exercises I did for every week for good five years in high school). And I only got an A2 for my Mandarin paper. Of course, these results will never truly reflect how proficient one is with a language, but at least I went all out to learn this language and surrendered myself to the education (Skor A) system in Malaysia.

One may argue about survival of the fittest. But I feel very sorry to hear what Yvonne has told me. I always feel a light is dimmed whenever I hear how a language is having lesser and lesser speakers as days go by. We in Malaysia have the right environment to embrace or celebrate or at least preserve linguistic diversity. But what have we done, actually?

If you have never own the experience of growing up in a language that is not spoken by the majority, and seeing less people are speaking in it now, how could you possibly understand the pain when the language is lost? One may say, alright, then let no one learns it, so that no one will feel the pain! But an easy way out is not always the right way. The precious knowledge of a language brushes pass you, you missed it and weren't in time to experience it, with this you've lost something worthed more than gold. One may argue that if we live in Malaysia, we should let the national language unites us. But that's how one is missing out the point of being in a multicultural country - and wasting national resources/ human capital. BM is indeed important and has brought us together quite successfully. But it doesn't mean other languages are of no importance should the number of speaker is less insignificant than the major ones.

To most of us, the culture of indigenous races from East Malaysia only exist on the performing stage, in their traditional costumes. In fact, to many Malaysians, culture means dance performance. No. Culture is the way we live our daily lives. Practices. Principles. Moral values and ethics. Languages. Food. and etc. Culture might transform through time. But effort must be made to preserve what is uniquely ours through generations. Start with preserving the languages and hence the uniqueness and diversity of human thought of each speaker. Please.

2010-06-09T08:20:00.000-07:00

Princetone Ho~~tel~~spital

at home

2010-06-06T07:45:00.000-07:00

When you're told: "Please make yourself at home.", what do you really wish to do?

I wish I could walk around the house in towel only and get any drinks I like from the fridge.

Well, at least this is my answer for now.

And I'm craving for sparkling ribena now, too :(

:D :D :D :D

2010-06-03T07:08:00.000-07:00

I don't know, Lord. I don't know. But I believe it does not happen by chance. Really, it must have been Your mercy.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

SOMEBODY.IS.POSTED.TO.HKL.STARTING.THIS.JULY!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Of all the people, Lord, and of all his choices, or to be exact, his non-choices, him, HKL. 2 years.

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. [Proverb 16:9]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I'm sorry but I really find it amusing, my friend :) See you soon!

Wow!

2010-05-31T09:39:00.000-07:00

These days have been really fantastic! Birthday celebrations one after another. I guess May is really a happening month.

Kicking it start by meeting up for lunch and Ip Man 2 with Mar-Jie, Xu Vin and Pau, then watched an MPO performance with Xu Vin, Pei Sun and her friend on the same day. Jason and Ruth's wedding, but I didn't manage to go. Iron Man 2 with College CG. UKM IV. Deborah's birthday. Hon Yau's birthday celebration (for N times, haha, tak habis-habis!). Lemuel's birthday. Jen Li's birthday. Global Day of Prayer in Stadium Malawati. Tabi's back with David. Elisha's back. Monica's back. Zhong Yi's birthday. Pastor Tony's birthday. Michelle's birthday. YC's birthday. June slept over. Ervina's back (for a while). Middle Eastern food with Ken. Simon's back. Eunice's back. Kean Yan's back.Watched Prince of Persia with Lian King and Yvonne. Kooi Cia's back (for a short while, too). Watched Shrek and Letters to Juliet. And YES, the latter was truly a beautiful movie! Heart-meltingly beautiful scenes and storyline and actors and actresses!

It was suppose only to be a dinner in KLCC with Kooi Cia. And after dinner, thought I could just drop by at her Traders Hotel room to have a look. Ended up making an impromptu decision to stay over with her for a night there. Haha. So her brother and sister sent me back to my condo and speed-packed my stuff and came back hotel again. Thank God I've known the way to walk from KLCC to Bukit Bintang, to my work place. So, I've also visited Sky Bar on top of the hotel. The view from the bar was truly amazing, with the gleaming Twin Towers in full view. It had a pool in the middle of the bar, and the ambiance was very cozy. I loved the hotel room. The chair for reading (I've always wanted a chair like that!), the bed, the bathroom OMG! It's been great to have a whole night with that busy girl, haha :) Ever so energetic and inspiring. (I don't have her picture with me now though).

OK. Really have to go to bed now. Pics!

It's through the list long of birthday celebrations and makan-makan session and parties and board games and card games sessions that let me have the experience of truly living in a community. Church is not a place you just go there during Sunday morning for sermon and "fulfill" religious obligation. It's the center of a community, where everyone meets and catch up. Where everyone finds bonding with the community, find love and support. When the world is pushing towards individualism, church is there to remind us to live as a community. That marriage is not really just a matter between two individuals, but the union of two families, and the bond between members of this community is bound closer by the marriage.

Coming up: Say Li's coming to KL this weekend. Can't wait! Live has been fulfilling and contented. Thank You for Your abundant blessings, Lord Jesus!

Get Physical

2010-05-28T20:24:00.000-07:00

Can you tell the difference between artistic and cheap trying-to-be-sex-appealing pole dancing?

Presenting, Felix Cane!

And somebody. I think her name is Irene. I wonder how old she is.

I've always liked Lady Gaga's video clip, because she is undisputedly one of a kind. Dancers in R&B songs are barely wearing anything, and they are disgusting. But Lady Gaga is also barely wearing anything in some of her video clips, but never had the word Sex crawled through my mind as I watched her videos.

This group of guys, named On The Rocks, have nothing to do with pole dancing, neither are they sexy. But they certainly make my day! Along with Lady Gaga's Bad Romance, they bring out a different flair in their dance - adorable! And I can't stop grinning again :D

City Crowd

2010-05-28T19:20:00.000-07:00

Dances always make me smile. I have no idea why :) There was one fine evening, I was in a hurry to rush back after work. I clocked out sharp at 5:30pm, wasting no innocent second. And there they were, right in front of Maybank below Bukit Bintang Monorail station, a group of dancers.

They danced, they sang along the songs. They cheered and spectators cheered with them. Cameramen and photographers whisked out their gadgets, passer-bys stopped and flashed their camera phones at them for a quick shot, before the precious scene vanished.

I stood there, stunned. Like it or not, I couldn't control the wide grin on my face. I realise it's the joy from within me that rooted me to the spot. The cheerful faces of the dancers certainly did magic unto the spectators. And more people were attracted to peek beyond sea of shoulders at what was happening. I thought they were from some dancing classes promoting their group.

After about three fast-paced songs, the dance ended with a Mandarin song with the lyric "take it off, take it off!" *grin* And indeed, the dancers, one after another, loosened up their shirts from their waistband, and at the last move, they peeled off their outer coat/shirt! And they froze.

Beneath it, was another t-shirt, printed the name of a product they were trying to promote. How creative! Apparently a company hired them to dance in the middle of the city to attract on-lookers, effectively. No microphone. No shouting of Free-Gifts-Only-Today. Nothing. Just a loud speaker, and a group of passionate dancers.

Eventually I recalled my plan for the evening, and quickly rushed off for the train. Carried with me, was the joy I received from the dancers, the crowd. A moment well lived :)

One After Another

2010-05-26T09:05:00.000-07:00

I've bought it since 2009. Some time around second half of the year. I've taken it up and put it down for so many times that I barely remember if I've ever cried over it, even for once. I remembered clearly there were times my reading came to a point when I read just for the sake of finishing it. But Jodi Picoult is still so good that she made the phase less painful. It's just that, she is not that good in her Handle With Care.

I've been tempted to take a break from Jodi Picoult recently. Randomly bought and read John Steinbeck's Mice and Man. Boy, it's a very refreshing change. Impressive words and writing style. But nonetheless an awfully traumatising ending. I finished it around 2:30am one night, and I wondered if I would have night mare should I fall asleep. Yup, John Steinbeck. Nothing less than mind-blowing.

This weekend I'm going to borrow Dear John from Siaw Lin. Adele said it's good, and it's one of her favourite books by Nicholas Spark.

Really, sometimes, taking a break from something you love deeply can give you a refreshing new perspective as you take it up once again. But how to tell if you only need a temporary break, or a permanent leave?

Things have been changing in unexpected directions these days. Finally there are times when my decidophobia is not the reason of me keep changing my decisions. See, I did make those decisions. It's just that, things suddenly change, and hence I have to reconsider my decisions/ plans.

Superheroes

2010-05-22T06:57:00.001-07:00

Adik Firdaus: Akak suke Spiderman ke Batman?

Me (indulged in brick-building gameboy at the same time): Er.. Spiderman

*Because I think it looks cool to swing from building to building with spider web. But both superheroes aren't that much different to me anyway.

Adik Firdaus: I suke Batman.

Me (still glued to the brick game): Ye ke? Kenape?

*What can be so great about Batman anyway?

Adik Firdaus: Kerana Batman ada motor best!

I was stunned, inserted the brick at a wrong position, and bursted out laughing.

Adik Firdaus continued: Kerete dia pun best. Dalam kerete boleh simpan motor dia. Dua-dua pun best!

And that's how I lost the brick-building game.

Good Morning, Babe!

2010-05-21T20:00:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning. Drizzled. I woke up and noticed a little boy watching cartoon in the living hall. A younger brother of one of my housemate. I thought this is what Saturday should be like: cereal with milk, in front of favourite cartoons. I thought this is how childhood should be like. And I wonder if I've never stopped watching cartoon on Saturday morning, maybe there will be no such thing as "childhood" cartoon.

And I switched on my laptop, get to my Facebook page. He walked into my little room, saw my brick game gameboy, took it and played with it. I asked for his age, he replied:

"Darjah Satu."

So I guess he is age 7.

Then he looked up at my screen, and said:

"Facebook!"

And I guess that was the moment I actually woke up :)

Adik Firdaus with my goggle :)

On another note, Ervina is back to Washington since Thursday morning. And June is leaving KTSN today, going back BM. There are always people who, when they leave, they bring along your heart with them..

Robinhood

2010-05-18T09:44:00.000-07:00

Part of the conversation between Alison and I about the movie Robin Hood. It's fun to just read the words from her :)

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

hey sorry dear

Cher Linn says:

it's ok

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

juz came back from shower

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

n tell u wat,the whole movie flow was a flatline

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

a very flat story..

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

u seriously wanna know??

Cher Linn says:

yeah

Cher Linn says:

because my friend is suggesting to watch it tmr

Cher Linn says:

haaha

Cher Linn says:

so, am trying to think if money spent is worthwhile

Cher Linn says:

so quickly tell me everything, including spoiler, everything

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

haha..

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

it's really really boring to watch la!!

Cher Linn says:

wow..

Cher Linn says:

what u mean flatline?

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

as in my emotion throughout the movie was a flatline too...

Cher Linn says:

hm..

Cher Linn says:

u felt bored?

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

ok here it goes

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

thr's a soldier named robin longstride in the army of king richard of england during his attack of france

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

thn tis king died in the war

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

so the king's followers have to carry the crown back to the country to relay the news n was killed on the way

Cher Linn says:

oh..

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

by tis english man who's a traitor,conspires with the king of france

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

one of the men killed was robert loxter

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

n since the king's dead,robin n a few of his frens escaped from the army n they meet this killing on their way

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

so robert passed his treasured sword to robin n asked him to send it back to nottingham to his father as his dead wish

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

dying wish i mean

Cher Linn says:

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

ok means enough??

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

haha

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

so they carried back the crown to present to the royals

Cher Linn says:

who is the robert? just a normal soldier?

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

n the brother of richard is made king who is a spoilt brat

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

not quite normal

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

he's from a family with high social status

Cher Linn says:

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

so he gets to be the king's follower

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

n the spoilt brat's name is john

Cher Linn says:

haha

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

he's fren with the traitor but he dinno his conspiracy

Cher Linn says:

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

since he's made king he collects very unreasonably high taxes from the ppl

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

so ppl hate him

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

on the other hand,robin reaches nottingham n finds the lextor family n returns the sword

Cher Linn says:

then?

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

the old man asked him to stay n pretend as his son with his wife called marion

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

of course at the end these 2 ppl fall in love as usual la

Cher Linn says:

wait, who are the "these 2 ppl"?

Cher Linn says:

robin and the wife??

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

robin and robert's wife

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

yes

Cher Linn says:

huh...............*speechless*

Cher Linn says:

hahah

Cher Linn says:

ok, then?

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

thn when the time comes to the arrival of the french army on the shore of england

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

that king john asks the village ppl to help him fight off the french

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

of course the ppl refuse to since they hate him

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

n before tis,in the name of king john,tat traitor fren has busted into villages n performed carnage as ppl aren't able to pay their taxes

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

the ppl has lost faith in the king

Cher Linn says:

oh no..

Cher Linn says:

then?

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

thn this robin comes out from the crowd of villagers n says tat the king has to give his words to the ppl tat they can live in freedom thn only the ppl will put their faith back in the king

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

n help him to fight n protect their country

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

so the king gives his word as momentarily repentence

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

(coz he ate his words in the end)

Cher Linn says:

aww..

Cher Linn says:

ahaha

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

so the ppl fight in unison n was strong

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

the traitor gets killed by robin in the end n the king of france n his army flee back to france

Cher Linn says:

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

king john also fights in the battle too n he thks he's so awesome

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

when the ppl shout the french army has surrendered,the king asks to whom(he happily thks it's to him)

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

thn the ppl say to him(pointing to robin)

Cher Linn says:

hahahahahaa!

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

i thk the king gets really jealous

Cher Linn says:

oh no..

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

so in the end ppl still have to pay high taxes n he makes robin as the outlaw i forgot in wat name of guilt he put him

Cher Linn says:

huh..

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

so they go to live in the bushes n while being wanted

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

there comes robinhood...

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

the end...

Cher Linn says:

huh...

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

gosh...

Cher Linn says:

yeah, gosh

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

it's so boring!!!!

Cher Linn says:

also heard got many gore scenes?

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

wat's gore scene?

Cher Linn says:

disgusting blood dripping flesh opening scenes

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

duh

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

i din feel it..

Cher Linn says:

hahaha

Cher Linn says:

seriously

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

totally din

Cher Linn says:

hhahaha

Cher Linn says:

ok, will tell me friend about it

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

n the cinema was freezing cold

Cher Linn says:

thanks for walking me through the whole movie!

Cher Linn says:

i have to say it's interesting to have you explain it to me like this, through your own words

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

added in as a factor tat drove me wanting the movie to end even more badly

Cher Linn says:

maybe u can write a better script for it

Cher Linn says:

haha

*** end***

Tried any new thing today?

2010-05-15T09:13:00.000-07:00

I'm trying a lot of new things this weekend. Well, starting my weekend since Friday is the ONLY thing that is not new to me :)

1. Bought 3 albums in one go: no regrets, love the musics!

a) Colbie Caillat - Breakthrough: I still love her style of musics. Soothing yet refreshing.

b) Sabrina - I Love Acoustic Too: As the title of the CD suggested, it's a compilation of songs sang in acoustic twist. I love her voice with the companion of acoustic guitar. Are you interested to know how does she sing Bleeding Love, Poker Face, Take A Bow, Because of You and etc in acoustic manner? I guess it's my personal preference to acoustic songs that draws me to it. The same way Alarice's Midnight Train and Colbie Caillat's both albums do.

c) Lady Gaga - The Fame Monster: Yup, you read it right. It's the main reason I visited that music shop at the first place. While on the way out, I picked up the above two albums. I love the way her songs bring out the tempo in you, make you want to tap your fingers or jump to your feet and dance along :)

2. Watched 3 movies in one go:

a) Changing Sides: It's a French film showed in conjunction with French Art and Film Festival in GSC International Screen. It's an interesting experience for me because it's the first time for me to be totally dependent on subtitles, while surrounded with words I cannot make sense of. It's a comedy film, and I enjoyed their sense of humor. The way they shoot the film. The acting. The way a language I had never heard of filled my ears and made me smile. I wanted to pretend that I was at another world already. Have you ever been in the same lift with a group of Indians and they're speaking in Tamil cheerfully among themselves? Some said it's rude to speak in a foreign language in front of people who don't understand it. But I like it. It does make me feel out of place. But in another word, it makes me feel invisible. As if I can just stand there, observe them speaking in different tongue and be amazed. The way a language is a way of expression itself. Differences excite me. Being a multilingual person myself, there are times I find certain things can only be expressed best in certain language, not the other.

b) The Bounty Hunter: I watched it because of Jennifer Aniston OK! It's not bad, would give 7/10 marks.

c) Furry Vengency: Total lousy film. It's suppose to be a comedy with cute furry animals on the theme of going green for environment, with some side lessons such as family and doing what is right etc. But no, I did not laugh at all. Seeing someone going through all the disasters and suffering the pains are nothing funny to me. Or maybe it's just this film. I actually enjoyed all Home Alone movies, you see. And being furry doesn't mean you're cute. Typical ending. 2/10.

3. Watch Thomas Cup Semi Final with friends:

a) and some uncles. I dislike watching the games with old people who've known the Malaysian badminton history so well that he could recall all the scores of the coach who trains the present players now yet NOT being supportive of Malaysian players. Or maybe being optimistic is only for young people? Whenever a new game starts, I'd feel like we're going to make a history. With banners of Come Home Mr.Thomas held high by the supporters in the stadium, I kept feeling that Malaysian team was going to beat China.

Yet there were too often Malaysian players lose scores to opponent because of the formers' own mistakes. I couldn't make myself to complain, but pray that the players will keep cool and take it easy. Because I knew the hope and pressure were on them, with this Cup being held at home land especially. While the uncles kept scolding: you can go home now; you're humiliating the country, etc. Was it because they've seen enough reality that make it impossible for them to feel the excitement of being hopeful again? Honestly, I know nuts about Malaysian badminton history. But it's as if I understand how it's like to put in every effort for a competition yet only being this close to make it. Others said it's as if nothing has been done because losing means one has contributed nothing beneficial. But I know it's not true. The hard work is real. The pressure is real. The fight itself is real. The sinking feeling whenever we're a score further from the Cup is real. No matter how many mistakes they've done in the court, humiliation is not something I could recognise for it.

At the end, I have to say, yup, China team performed well that night. Energetic and well-trained players. But I still love Malaysian players more, even AFTER they've lost the matches. All of them are still pretty much my idols whom I will look up to and support. Maybe to the extent of keeping their sweaty towels.

b) then play Saboteur at Elise's house: It's a board game. My first time playing it. I'm too lazy to explain what it is, but well, just say it's similar to mafia/murderer game, that we need to fake our identity at some point of the game. And apparently I just couldn't fake it enough even though I've tried my best to do EVERYTHING I could to look like another identity. Sue Ann said I was like an open book. Really? Sigh. Hahaha, but it was fun!

c) bought burger for dinner/supper at this "Jeremy's" stall before heading Elise's house. Learnt something new, a recipe by the stall owner. Burger Kawen = burger with chicken and beef patty. Alternately, you can also call it Burger Abu, because Ayam + lemBU = ABU! Nice try, tauke :) And hey, they add a few slices of green apple in the burger instead of cucumber! Isn't it interesting?

Thank you, Lord, for such an interesting weekend!

I'm Sorry.

2010-05-12T03:20:00.000-07:00

A plane operated by Libyan airline Afriqiyah crashed on landing at Tripoli airport. Out of the 104 persons in the plane, only one Dutch child, age 8, survived.

If I'm a story teller, I'd tell all kind of stories about the crash and his survival and what happens after that with him being the only survival of this tragic incident. Maybe I'll go with the direction of his encounter with angel of death and how he managed to trick the satan for his life. And he could be famous and everyone knows him as The One, and plan crash investigators all around the world will be interested in interviewing him to know what exactly happened and how did he survive. Or maybe this boy will grow up having phobia with boarding a plane and his story to overcome the fear.

But I'm not. I'm only a human. I feel horribly sorrowful to read this news. I'm sorry for the losses suffered by the victims' families and friends. I'm sorry for the victims' tragic death. I'm sorry for the airline company. I know none of them. But may the Lord bless the souls.

I wonder what would I have done should I be in a crashing plane. It's either I went total blank in my mind, or thoughts about everything runs through my mind in matter of seconds. Thoughts about undone chores, unspoken love and apology. Thoughts about people I have yet to hug that very morning.

And maybe, thought about how I should have lived like I am dying.

Have a good day, everyone.

Wednesday

2010-05-05T04:28:00.000-07:00

Today (Wednesday, 5th May 2010) is a happening day, but I'm not part of any event :(

1. Sarah flies in from Sibu! She's here for a workshop for a few days and it'll be fantastic if we can meet up and have dinner or something. Which part of KL? She was at the same old KTSN this morning :)

2. Ervina is back in KL from Washington! She called from the States last night right before her impromptu flight. Again, it would be great if I can meet her up tonight because during weekend she'll be off to Philippine. Hopefully I'm still able to meet her next week, when she flies back here again.

3. MPO Jam Buster - Grand Tango. RM10.00. Yes, I am having slight addiction to MPO performances these days. Amy would have come with me if I am attending it.

For some reason, I can't be part of all these.

On another note, my apology to all doctor friends. I am one of the most noncompliant patient you will ever have. But that's also partly because my doctor didn't give me MC so I refuse to take the pill for flu, which the nurse said will make me drowsy. But yes, I hate swallowing pill, too.

And the conversation with you about how I'd prefer to say sleep "in" bed instead of sleep "on" bed because that's how the bed swallows a person "into" it when one sleeps on it, and your response towards my ridiculous explanation certainly made my day, despite missing all these events :)

No, no, I'll still make it up to you, dear Sarah and Ervina :)

Ugly

2010-04-29T22:26:00.000-07:00

Because what you should be afraid of, is not your friends seeing the less-than-pretty-by-your-standard pictures of you on Facebook, and judge you silently in their heads, or even talk and laugh about you. Instead, you should be afraid of making friends with people who cannot accept you after seeing the less-than-perfect side of you.

Friends, who after seeing the worst of you, still love you as you are. Generally people do not expect the ugly side of you, but it's only friends who after seeing it, they would know that it's just you being yourself. Friends, who do not agree with you for many, many things, but would still respect your opinion. It may take a life time to understand a person. But the least of all, is to have a person goes so low that he dares not tell you right at your face what he thinks about you yet talks about you at your back. And then pretends nothing ever happens.

There's a friend I trust deeply. I gave him all my secrets. I told him all the nasty things I've done. I told him my concerns and worries. I showed him my ugliest and weakest sides. He could be emotionless and annoyingly logical most of the time, but he never leaves me alone. There was only once that he scolded angrily at me. He was angry at me because he was worried about me after I told him what I've done.

Give me the world, but I'd rather abandon it if it's without this friend in it.

Heels Don't Kill

2010-04-26T22:25:00.001-07:00

Since Monday, when I'm feeling optimistic, I thought I walk like a very demure girl; otherwise, I thought I walk like an old lady.

But no, my colleague just broke it to me: macam robot la!

Thanks to the pair of new, deceivingly-pretty heels. It's either you be their friends, or let them torture you. They don't kill like terrorists do.

*ouch*ouch*ouch*

You paham?

2010-04-22T22:26:00.000-07:00

It's easy for you to ask someone to do the supposedly most beneficial thing when you're in the majority.

Like how the French were just stupid to impose laws unto Muslim women not to wear veil because of how the majority might feel against them. It might be true that they feel disturbed seeing women clad in cloths all over. But it's not the Muslim's fault that they feel it this way. I'd say it's only human nature to see something out of the norm. But because the people who are against the veil are the majority, they have the say, and who cares about the minority? Even if it's nothing to do with the religion, that's not right to decide how a person should or should not dress herself up. Who are you, fashion police?

At the same time we have Muslim women who don't wear headscarf. The principles behind religious practices are not easily comprehended sometimes. But one must know that the least of all, it's not you who decide how to interprete the scripture, but let the scripture itself leads you to understanding a religion. You don't get to choose which part of the scripture you'd like to believe, which you wouldn't. God is not someone you believe in the way you wish Him to be, but He is someone you have to believe even if you haven't really understand Him, yet. In fact, nobody can fully understand God. He is too smart :)

Or the way you want to abolish sekolah Jenis on the grounds that they breed racial seggregation. Or the way you want everyone to only speak BM on the basis that every Malaysian should speak national language to show our patriotism. But that's exactly how you're missing out the point. Because it so happen that BM is your mother tongue, you don't feel the hit when one is asked not to speak the language he grows up with. Not simply because you have yet to know the beauty of other mother tongues in this land. In fact, Mandarin, Tamil and other languages are no longer the total mother tongue of a Malaysian in this generation now. Because we grow up speaking rojak to everyone. There's a bit BM in the Penangite's Hokkien and Teochew, a bit English in our BM, a bit Hokkien in BM. And only Malaysians say "-la". The best way to ask a person to understand the feel of cutting one's mother tougue from his lips, is to ask him not to sound like a Malaysian.

OK, buat kerja.

random pictures

2010-04-08T09:29:00.000-07:00

1. Swimming pool in Vistana

2. Various coloured paper stripes in random order, before a "big project" sequel.

3. One of the cards I made this week. Why does inspiration always come at night? *panda eyes*

4. The Simpsons

Come Hell or High Water, or, Monday.

2010-04-04T07:14:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post.

It's been on my mind for more than a month now, though no doubt I've shared it with some of my close friends about it. That I am sure it must be God's plan all along. It's like the debate about whether or not it was, after all, God's plan that Judas betrayed Jesus, that Jesus knew it all along hence that's why He was very troubled about it that He was in anguish as He prayed [Luke 22:42] "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.". Or, otherwise. It doesn't mean I now think it's a right thing to be done, though. Anyway..

It's really like shower of blessings, over and over again. Like a huge, month-long celebration that as if finally I've made a right choice which is pleasing to God's eyes. Only recently that I feel the ride has slowed down a little. It's like God saying, OK, you've had enough fun now, haven't you? It's time to get back to Work.

It aches me to think about the disaster during the past weekend. But, if it's God's will that I receive what I do not deserve, I guess the celebration mentioned above were more like a farewell for me. It's just that, we're having so much fun with each other around that we didn't notice it's a farewell. It might be a good thing, after all.

And oh, Nar is back to Malaysia from Nepal for another year.

And I'm going to laugh at myself, real hard, and calculate 1 to the power of a fifth for the 700th time. And I bet Jun Hoe will no longer reply with nice words to my messages about how I screw up (and still get what I long for). Thank God I still have Xu Vin :)

But I'd rather it's meant to be a farewell than just a celebration, so that when it's here, nobody will have time to be sad, if anyone would. I'd rather Jun Hoe does the above, and the only reason I am going to wish for that is because I no longer need to send him those messages to begin with. I'd rather the whole world to laugh with me, at myself. I really, really.. wish I could have done better... sigh, let's not think about it now. I need loads of prayer and favor from God.

:)

2010-03-22T04:57:00.001-07:00

From left:

1. A Spot of Bother - Mark Haddon

- Anyone can learn to write like Jodi Picoult, it's just that she is really good. But I guess no one can learn to even mimic Mark Haddon's style in catching one unnoticed. The writing style is quite different from Item 2, but it's nonetheless an enjoyable read. Wait, I think Roald Dahl was the one who's good at catching one by surprise. Hm..

2. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon

- I bought this book because I needed to break my RM50 for Monorail. I thought it's better to buy something useful than some random stuff for this purpose. It was part of the 3 For 2 sales in Borders. But I bought only this book that time, hence paying its original price. It's the first time I did not fall into the temptation of discount *proud* After finishing this book in a week's time, I decided that it worthed the price I paid ;)

3. Songs of the Humpback Whale - Jodi Picoult

- It's the first Jodi Picoult's book I read. Can't say I adore it to the max, but it's still a good read.

4. My Sister's Keeper - Jodi Picoult

- I cried like, so many times while reading it. A beautifully written piece!

5. Salem Falls - Jodi Picoult

- Interesting court cases, and points to ponder on. But I don't like the witch part. Sounds vague.

6. Plain Truth - Jodi Picoult

- *ahem*checks calendar* When should I start reading this book..

7. The Pact - Jodi Picoult

- *still scrutinise calender carefully*

8. Handle with Care - Jodi Picoult

- Alas, fall into the temptation of Jodi Picoult, and bought this book. Half way through it. Her magics are still effective on me :)

9. The Prayer of Jabez - Wilkinson

- A gift from Jun Ling!

10. Bible

- NIV Backpack Bible for kids, hee hee

Favourite books which are not here:

1. Change of Heart - Jodi Picoult

2. To Kill A Mocking Bird - Harper Lee

- These two books, I borrowed it from library (1) and Kimberly (2) and loved them so much that I bought a copy each for myself.

3. For One More Day - Mitch Albom

- This book, I bought its hard cover version with 20% off, no regrets.

Books I'm going to buy next:

1. House Rules - Jodi Picoult

- I'm waiting for the smaller print of the paperback version. Azrul told me that it's only going to be here next year. Really? Sigh.

P/s: YES, Azrul is working in Kinokuniya! Azrul.IS.working.in.my.favourite.going.to.marry.to.largest.book.store.in.Malaysia! Azrul is working in... *faint*

A Prayer 5

2010-03-20T21:36:00.000-07:00

Lord Jesus,

I can feel the cup is dry, Lord. That her spirit longs to be filled with the Holy Spirit, once again. That she longs for Your comfort and encouragement. That she wants to be assured of walking this challenging path that You've chosen for her. Father, it cannot be clearer that this challenge is how You want to shape our characters. You said you will not give us burden that is too big for us to carry. You know us best and You have our best interest at heart, for You are the creator of all things.

Father I want to put June into Your mighty hands, Lord. May You bless her with guidance and wisdom to complete her thesis. For all knowledge comes from You, what is more pleasurable than writing about our discoveries of Your creation? But Jesus, we want to search carefully for Your beauty, we want to report truthfully. Jesus, I pray that with every word she writes, she is going to bring glory unto Your name. May those who have eyes to read it, be blessed with her findings, and use it to further Your purpose in mankind for such discovery.

O Lord, strengthen her and bless her with the spirit of perseverance. It is through the Holy Spirit that we are strengthen, not with our own might. For it is in You, that the weak may be strong, that the poor may be rich. Fill her with joy and dignity to worship You, with everything she does. Fill her with passion to serve You, with good time management skill and self-discipline. Even at times of trouble and turbulence, Lord, may you bless her with peace in her heart, so that she can listen to Your word. Jesus, You calmed the storms. Lord, if this is Your will, calm the storm in June's heart as the deadline draws near. For we know that You are in charge.

Last but not least, Jesus, May June find refuge in Your love when she is heavy-hearted. May You be her Rock that she can lean on. Father, we don't ask for an easy way out, or a bed of roses. But we ask for our Lord to walk with us. We may not know how much gift and strength You've given us if we weren't pushed far enough. We may not see Your wonderful works and sing praises to You if we've missed out these things in life. You said: [Matthew 11:28-30]

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

and we want to wrestle with You for the things You've promised us. Because You are the living God, and so are Your Words.

Psalm 46

God is our refuge and strength,

an ever-present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way

and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

though its waters roar and foam

and the mountains quake with their surging.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,

the holy place where the Most High dwells.

God is within her, she will not fall;

God will help her at break of day.

Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;

he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

The Lord Almighty is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Come and see the works of the Lord,

the desolations he has brought on the earth.

He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;

he breaks the bow and shatters the spear,

he burns the shields with fire.

"Be still, and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth."

The Lord Almighty is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress.

In Lord Jesus most precious name, Amen.

Hilang Kereta, Again

2010-03-13T08:25:00.000-08:00

My Friend warned me not to post this in my blog. She must be rewarded by knowing me so well that she knows I am going to post it in my blog after what has happened :)

I'm sorry, I just can't help it!

This time, it's with her own car. Not Soon Chien's car. Not Izza's car. We went out for dinner as usual. And as usual, being indecisive and kept changing our minds and got distracted by some other stuff we wanted to get off from our chests. Finally we headed to KLCC instead of McD after being honked by cars behind in Bulatan Pahang. And we laughed at each other while Jason Mraz's songs were played at the background.

She knew the way to KLCC (car park) so well that she could drive with her eyes closed. She did the reverse parking with little effort. And absent-mindedly we walked to the escalator towards Suria, not remembering the lesson both of us shared at the same car park, around a year ago.

We had dinner, talked, laughed, satisfied, paid the bill, paid the parking fee and looked for her car. And looked for her car. And looked for her car. And we still could laugh at each other, that the same thing repeated itself - the same people (It was also just the both of us during the first time we "lost" our car.), the same car park, with the same reason we couldn't find it. We were confused by which level we parked our car.

We sheepishly went to the car park office to look for assistance, again. With some guidance, we managed to find her car, parked innocently at a level below the one we searched. She said this kind of incident only happened when she's going out with me. I actually felt proud to hear the statement *grin*

It's always fun to have her around, no matter what has happened, even if it was to hear her groaned about her thesis. Because loving someone is not wanting them to be perfect, but knowing that they are imperfect yet not wanting them to change a bit :)

I Love My Job

2010-03-04T04:57:00.001-08:00

Case 1:

Claims Paid: RM5,417.30

Diagnosis: Abdominal Pain

Case 2:

Claims Paid: RM12,103.50

Diagnosis: Cannot read doctor's handwriting

Bila Terasa Rindu

2010-03-02T07:17:00.000-08:00

I did not purposely look for this song. It happened to be on TV as I passed by the living room while my housemate was watching it. And I do not like it because of you. I like it because I like it.

Presenting: Bila Terasa Rindu, by Dafi

Apa agaknya khabarmu di sana?

Di sini ku sedang dibelenggu rindu

Beginikah rasa seksa perpisahan

Sungguh anehnya hidup berasingan

Hati terasa bagai tertinggal di situ

Meskipun tubuh dah jauh beribu batu

Sesaat seperti tahun lamanya

Semasa kau tiada

Apa yang terdaya

Bila terasa rindu ku sebut namamu

Dengan harapan kau akan muncul dalam tidur

Bila terasa rindu ku bayang wajahmu dalam angan

Dan barulah ku terasa bagai disembuh

Jauh sekali hidup di sini berbeza

Beribu kali lagi ku selesa di sana

Tak sabar menantikan detik kepulangan

Namun hingga itu

Apa yang termampu

Bila terasa rindu ku sebut namamu

Dengan harapan kau akan muncul dalam tidur

Bila terasa rindu ku bayang wajahmu dalam angan

Dan barulah ku terasa bagai disembuh

Terlintas di fikiran untuk meminggirkan saya

Semua pencarian di sini

Tetapi ini sebahagian dari pengorbanan

Bekalan andainya hari sukar mencabar

Of Course

2010-02-24T21:25:00.001-08:00

I do not smile unexplainably at the sound of your name. Because I can explain it. I have been smiling the whole day because I am happy today. Not because I have been thinking about you. Even if I happened to think of you for ~~the whole day~~ a while, that doesn't mean you're the reason I smile. There is not chain of logic between me thinking of you and me smiling. Because, it's normal. It's just a non-exhausting smile. Everyone can do that when they're happy, right? Even if the kind of joy is not usual - like a little sparkling glitters in my guts, a butterfly that makes my heart beats with silent excitement, it doesn't mean it's something that unusual that I have to write a post about it. I mean, even if I were to think of you, it's not something I should feel guilty about. Because I think of many people everyday. Sometimes, I even ask myself why didn't the Nasi Lemak stall open that morning. Yes, that's right. Many people. You're just one of them. So not special that I can forget about you when I wake up from a good night sleep. Even if I were to meet you tomorrow, it's just a normal hang out. Of course we need to meet up with friends sometimes. And, of course I'll feel excited to meet up with friends.

We're just friends, right?

Train Trip

2010-02-16T02:59:00.000-08:00

The Right to Stay in Denial

2010-02-08T04:29:00.000-08:00

~~I did not just went shopping. I mean,~~

~~those are necessities~~

~~they really worth it~~

~~I really like them~~

...

*stares at the burnt hole of my purse*

I did not just went shopping.

Nice one!

2010-02-08T04:04:00.000-08:00

I love this post very much. It's from I Wrote This For You.

Outside the station, she stands with her child on the side of the street, taking pictures of cars.

You think she's insane. Until, one day, you notice that she's taking pictures of the license plates of the cars her child gets into.

Because you look. But you do not see.

And she walks out the shop with bags full of cat food. You think she's some crazy cat lady until you find out, she has no cats.

Because you eat. But you do not taste.

It's been a while since their last album but he assures you, he's doing just fine these days, white flecks in his nostrils. Then he asks you if he can spend the night on your couch, even though it stinks.

Because you sniff. But you do not smell.

And they say "Just OK" when you ask them how school was. Then you wonder what they're hiding until you find their diary and the last entry reads "I wish you'd give me some privacy."

Because you listen. But you do not hear.

And they've got a bruise over their eye and you run the tips of your fingers over it and ask them how it happened. You believe them. Until it happens again.

Because you touch. But you do not feel.

And they walk past you everyday, one million stories, each waiting to be told. Waiting for you to ask.

Because you live. But very few, love.

Colour Blind

2010-02-04T07:14:00.000-08:00

Broga Hill

2010-02-02T04:43:00.000-08:00

Pictures first :)

Almost There

2010-01-28T06:35:00.001-08:00

Have you ever felt how frustrating it is to be SO close to your dream but you're just not there yet? The euphoria of dreaming to touch the stars the moment you close your eyes, you shout in your heart that: "YES, I'm gonna make it!" yet at the next moment, when you open your eyes to the reality, you can't help but to realise that you're not going to make it after all, no matter how far you've come, and how you're just an inch away from it.

Oh well, at least you're just an inch away from it. Sometimes, the distance is far greater for some people that it actually stops them from dreaming anymore.

Is it wrong..?

2010-01-20T01:58:00.000-08:00

to keep staring at his lips?

His name is Roy. It's the only thing I remember about him, information which is not even told by himself.

If you have known that you cannot stop staring at him and go blank while he's telling you about himself, maybe you should have asked for his number, or email, something which is more practical, huh, HUH?

Well done, tangcherlinn, well done. You can help yourself with the rope. Now.

stop it stop it stop it ~~radiant~~ stop it stop it stop it ~~sexy curves~~ stop it stop it ~~inviting~~ stop it stop it stop it ~~nicely shaped~~ stop it stop it STOP IT! Don't you dare smiling at me in my dream!

Wandering Heart

2010-01-19T03:10:00.000-08:00

I couldn't help but to start thinking of what to pack and what to DO on the train back home for CNY. I've taken half day leave on Thursday 11/2/10 to go back in that afternoon. Yes, traveling by train! I'm really looking forward to it even though it's not the first time already.

Before that, I need to buy the roast pork slices (what do you call that in English actually?) for my mum from one of the famous shop here. I bought some home during Christmas upon her special request. I never get crazy over it but my mum seemed to be very happy. Hence I'm going to do that everytime I go home :)

Besides, I'm going to make sure I've got my sweater ready, MP3 fully charged and preferably with some new songs, a WordSearch puzzle and a pen, and also, the Tetris gameboy! Oh yeah, may need to buy some batteries for back-up as well. Oops, looks like I've forgotten to name the book I want to bring with me for this trip. That African book is with Jeremy! Hope the condition of the book is still alright :) Maybe I'll just stick to Jodi Picoult's Handle With Care for now. And some tissue with me as I read, just in case.

Sigh, and will be out of Internet for 6 hours. SIX hours! And I'm going to take train come back KL as well. Total will be at least 12 hours! Half a day without Internet, rawr! Hope the train does not delay please please please!

And, I am confirmed not going for my company trip to China now. I know I have given up a golden opportunity to travel with minimal expenses, and definitely will miss a lot of fun with my colleagues. There are some reasons I gave it up. And I someone feel peaceful with the decision now. Thank God I have found a replacement so I don't have to bear the cost. Hope everyone will have a wonderful experience there!

As for now, STUDY! I attended a short course on basic insurance principles in Malaysian Insurance Institute today. Boy the speaker was great! Enjoyed his class and he made me want to prepare myself better for tomorrow's session. After much thinking, I have decided to take up diploma subjects on insurance soon. My Dad a.k.a. the big boss encourages me. I like superiors and colleagues who encourage one's continuous development in the career. I need to check out the class schedule and my financial capability first. Hope everything will work out.

That's all for now. And people please use Google Calendar and share it with me! Or Wave, or both, please? :D

Seriously seriously?

2010-01-15T03:44:00.001-08:00

Burning down churches doesn't make me angry. Not even a bit. I was only frustrated that some Malaysians are still unbelievably uncivilised. What makes me really mad is that the police actually spend time screening through posts in Facebook and track down people who "abuse" the online social tool. They actually take everything posted in Facebook seriously. Like, seriously seriously? Which era are they living in now?

We are living in the era where we don't just rely on one source for information, or easily being influenced by something said in a website. Even news in The Economist or New York Times, though everything has been edited and proof-read before publishing it online, the readers still have the responsibility to analyse the information and think critically whenever they read.

What's more, it's just an online social tool called Facebook, hello? It's true that many people are using it. But come on, who actually take things seriously in Facebook? It's more to a place for most people to NOT be themselves rather than the other way round. My Typing Maniac scores actually beat yours, I can so totally put it in my resume to apply work. Someone offered to splash petrol in churches if only any one would pay him, and this fellar got caught because of offering it, irregards if it was for real or other wise. How about those who had actually splashed petrol or red paints at churches? Where are they? Are they caught?

Don't think as the government has given a sum of money to repair the damage, the issue is over. We are still waiting to hold the real culprit responsible. After all, the money that the government gave away, comes from OUR pockets, too. Why do all of us have to be responsible for the damages when it wasn't us who started the fire at the first place?

Even if you were to charge one to serve as the warning message for the rest, to make everyone view this sensitivity issue seriously, I assure you that no one is going to take you seriously from now. We took the law seriously. We followed it. But what will happen if we don't? Nothing. Someone throw cow head in a Hindu temple, nobody got kick out of country even if he did not abide to the constitutional law that says we have to be respectful to others' religion. Someone smashed the cars, destroy properties that were not theirs, but the police defended the criminals by saying the smashing-cars issue were only rumors. Someone damaged the worship places, by fire or by red paints, the police sat in front of the computer checking Facebook. Someone stole the jets and sold them to a company in South America, but no one was hold accountable. Two freakingly huge jets for goodness sake! And nobody actually noticed that they were gone instantly?!

They can't catch the big fish, then maybe some small ikan bilis will do, huh? After all the People only want to see some result, no? And soon we will clap hands that some people were caught and made it to the headline of national newspaper, even if he is not necessarily responsible for the actual crime. Because we need to blame it to someone else, and close the case, and focus on 1Malaysia.

Malaysia Boleh.

Troubled Soul

2010-01-08T21:30:00.000-08:00

Sometimes we thought our politicians are stupid. But I guess they're pretty smart when they know where to pick to stir people's heart, make themselves the center of attention and everyone talks about them - the whole free publicity package. I wanted to ignore the whole fiasco, assuming that everyone who has a sound mind can make their own judgement about what is right and wrong. But the fact that places of worship were burnt down and cars with symbols of Christianity were smashed proved that Malaysian is still far from achieving this expectation.

Or maybe we used to understand the idea of being respectful and tolerance to others. We used to have the kind of pure friendship that crosses cultural, religious, ethnic, racial borders. We understood we were different, yet we're so similar that we can speak each other's language. We were excited about the diversity. Our innocence gave us a pure heart. We loved each other so much that it aches me to see others condemn your beliefs even if I'm of different religion.

But what happen, is more than just confusion about religion (if there's any). I'd forgive one who acts without understanding. It's pitiful they have yet to understand the beauty of each religion, or the idea of religion means living a purposeful life guided with righteousness and truth.

But what I see, is the seed of pseudo-superiority being planted in the hearts of certain group of people, the abuse of religion by political leaders who does not put the people's best interest first. Even if they seem like championing your religion, seem to act with faith to fight evilness, do not be fooled by what you see.

Making one religion a national religion, doesn't make it a more superior religion in a country. Giving special rights and privileges to a group of people doesn't mean they shall forever stand at a higher ground and rule the rest. Sadly, when these two situation have been in-stored for too long in a country, the seed of superiority grows wild. With constant supply of fertilizers and sufficient surviving factors, it gets out of control, like a cancer. And eventually it spreads like virus to infect more people. The innocent will have their mindset distorted. They are CONFUSED by the blessings they received, which were taken out from the pockets of those who don't. They have changed, taken things for granted, and expected more to be given to them because they are "suppose" to be treated differently at the first place due to their superior status, at the cost of others' dreams and expectation.

They claim it is to avoid confusion. However, the more you want to protect a community from confusion, the more they are vulnerable to deviation and confusion that basically exist in every aspects in their life. I am decidophobe, I hate making decision but I know sometimes I just cannot avoid it. Making a decision makes me understand myself better. Likewise for being confused. Nobody like to be confused. We like things to be crystal clear, and easy to understand. But unfortunately confusing factors are every where. In fact, we have to live by walking out of confusions with better understanding and wisdom, so that we can grow as a human who thinks with their brain.

They claim it's because of the issue of sensitivity. That even if their holy book does not say the word is exclusive to them, but because if they are using the word, others who also use it may confuse their believers. That the community who profess in that faith is too large for us to ignore the diverse socioeconomic background, and hence their religious education level as well. That others have to understand that many of them have yet to grasp the essence of their teachings and hence a sensitive word may cause great confusion and deviation from the truth. But how about they confusing the other party who are also using it instead? Are they proudly committing crimes which themselves condemn? Every religion is perfect. You just need to have a little more faith in your religion to see that. If you don't, then it's too bad. No matter what others do, or DON'T do, it cannot help you to understand it better if you don't play your part.

Conflicts that stem out of religious differences do not only paint a bad picture of the side who started it, but also to the whole idea about religion. Atheist all around the world are happily condemning the existence of religion and the chaos caused by its differences. Burning down worship places only add to their list of evidences and reasonings that religion is a bad thing. Probably the following arguments are God does not exist and even if He does, He loves shedding of blood and hatred among its people. While the faithful have been working hard to restore the good image and debated hard to rescue God's kingdom, their own brothers and sisters are the one ruining their effort. Students were forced to swallow the entire History text books (which was more to History of a particular religion than the history of other happenings) and again forced to attend TITAS which was more to the said religion teaches Peace (like DUH, every other religion teaches Peace, too, ok?) for damages that they did not contribute, but their forefathers. Maybe the fight should stop now, already?

On the ruling of the High Court. It just shows how insignificant a decision from our High Court is. No matter how "high" it is, it's not higher than the Home Ministry's hand, it is no higher than the threat of the short-tempered, it is no higher than those who are too short to see that they are no more superior than others when it comes to obeying the law. It doesn't matter if the judge was a wise judge or the decision was made after days and nights of whole case studying and legal-clauses scrutiny. All it matters, is to entertain those who speak loudly, act violently, or anything that can be defined as terrorism.

I honestly love Malaysia and love my Muslim friends. I still do. Despite the fact that my fellow Christian brothers and sisters were being prosecuted because of the conflict with their religion, despite some people were committing evil acts in their name, despite the fact that we are different and inherently worship different Gods (but some say it's the same, yet it doesn't really matter). Because I understand what love is. Do you?

Whatever that happens, please remember to come back to Him. Refer His Words to find out the truth and ask for better understanding about His teachings. Because all things were created by Him. To love Him, is to love all his Creation. To believe in Him, is to uphold and live out His principles.

New Desk! (edited)

2010-01-07T05:48:00.000-08:00

I've added a desk in my room after much ~~decidophobing~~ thinking. And a book shelf, too. Or maybe I shouldn't call it a book shelf so that I can resist the temptation to fill it up with more books (and not finish reading them).

Before the addition, the makeshift cotton wardrobe is in the room, on the left. There is already a table in the room but apparently it is not big enough for me to do something productive at it, i.e., studying. Eventually I found out that the said wardrobe can be replaced with a small desk (which alone is too small to be my study desk as well), and join with the existing table to give me sufficient space!

So here it is. The brown shelf on the left is also a new addition.

While the wardrobe is shifted to the door.

And if I were to put down my bed to sleep, it looks like this:

Hope I can get use to the new arrangement pretty soon :)

One God

2010-01-04T07:33:00.000-08:00

Come ON, people! It's only a word! How many times do you have to appeal to AVOID someone mentioning the existence of God? Huh? HUH? Oh, unless you:

(a) believe in the existence of more than ONE God hence you make other people to use other names for their God(s). Let's say the word is a Kata Nama Khas, and there's only one God. Hence there should only be one name for Him. Period. If it's a Kata Nama Am, in whatever language it is, anyone who can speak may have the right to speak in the language that they're comfortable in, especially on this personal matter of religion and faith.

(b) believe that your religion is much more superior than others' hence you can copyright the word and maybe later the entire language. Language will then no longer be an art, because art has no boundaries. Language will no longer be a part of a culture to represent your identity. Because outsider cannot understand you, let alone the uniqueness of your so-called identity.

(c) your religion only center around that particular word and not the messages He wants to convey to you. Look at what you're doing, really. You spent day and night defending the word. What have we all learnt from you about your religion? That the word is exclusive to your religion. Period. What does your religion teach the followers? Love? Peace? We cannot really see that - You actually needed our PM to urge you to remain calm after the High Court ruled that some other people may use the word too. I wonder how peaceful our PM thought you were. But we're pretty sure it contains one word that means one God. But what does the one God teach us? Nevermind, it's not that important. Just remember the word. Don't you prefer more people to understand your religion beyond just the exclusivity of the word? Mind you, the word is not exclusive to your religion at the very first place. While all you care, is the word. Great.

That's how you show respect to the decision made by the High Court, huh? That whatever decision you don't like, you throw tantrum and let someone come and calm you down, and appeal against the decision for gazillion times until it's ruled otherwise. I have wasted my time wondering what is the job scope of Home Ministry and what are we paying them for.

with a bang

2010-01-01T18:45:00.000-08:00

There was once a new friend I met only over a weekend told me that I was a person who knew what I wanted and what I didn't, and made choices accordingly. For my friends who've known me better, they'd laugh at the fact a decidophobe like me actually received such comment. But as I pondered upon it, I guessed that new friend was quite correct, too. He said it during our dim sum breakfast in Ipoh. He saw me eagerly waiting for waiter to pass by so that I could order an egg tart, while firmly turning down someone's offer for other dish. And like wise for other dishes, what I wanted to try next, what I didn't bother to touch.

I guess the year of 2009 was a year I was given opportunity to explore myself - what I want in life, what I can tolerate to get something I want in return, what I would love to do for the rest of my life, what are my priorities, what are my heart longings. And with this, I have to say I am glad I did depend on God for direction.

However, the part I did wrong, was that I didn't put God first in everything. Many times we only come to seek God's help when we've run out of resources or ideas, and needed direction on where to go next. It should have been the other way round - ask God for His permission before we are to do anything. You might be surprised that even at the things you were very positive on, God might say otherwise because He had a bigger plan you couldn't see back then.

The first half of the year, I was busy with my thesis - the lab phase and writing phase. Both were draining but fun. I learnt that: I shall not involve in research work anymore, and I strongly prefer English over BM. Back then I thought it was because I attended kindergarten which used English as the medium that has the impact on me. But now I understand that English does have this natural appeal to me - thinking and speaking wise, and I am so comfortable with the language that I must make it a part of my life. My thesis went well, as well as my entire final semester as a Biomedical Science degree student. I closed the chapter with gratefulness to God. And yes, graduation ceremony was on 15th August 2009 :)

Invasion of Aliens and a bear with brain tumor. Bodoh :)

And went to Lang Tengah as well. I love the sky and the sea.

Before I began my second half of the year, the time I placed my virgin steps into working world for full time, I consulted God for my working life and future ahead. I put it in God's hand and prayed that He will send me to live for His purpose in me. I believe things may not be permanent, that I may have to move on to some where when the time comes. But the most important thing is not to loose focus to serve God. At every point in our life, there will be different callings and different needs. Every phases is a way God trying to shape us for a bigger purpose ahead. Instead of being complacent at the current good time, I need to remember to stay alert at the moment God calls.

Right now I am working in a good company, with a good future. The way I define comfort zone in a work place, is not so much of easy job and easy money, but the colleagues and leaders I am privilege to have. I thought racial harmony only exists between friends, not formal acquaintanceship such as in the office. Racial remarks and judgmental accusation were common among my coursemates back in university. Maybe that are how professionals act. We're all here to get things done. If you're committed, then you're one of us. More to that, is the chemistry we share. I couldn't find a place among my coursemates, because I often find that we think differently. But I have cliqued well with my colleagues there. They share the photos of their children, talk about their family, offer to lend me books on insurance, invite me to join their lunch-mate group, drop by to ask about my weekends, forward email about book fair, and many other kindnesses I receive. My General Manager (among us the senior colleagues will refer him as our big brother, while the junior ones like me will refer him as our dad, haha!) actually spent some time to advise me to take extra insurance courses as soon as possible, because I am still fresh from university and am still familiar with study mode, compared to other married, more senior colleagues. The colleagues I have in my department are patient and helpful. I learn that, to work in a team, communication is very, if not the most, important. We keep each other informed about every cases through forwarded emails (for the sake of keeping record) and verbal communication. And that's how efficiency in providing information to other department is maintained even if one of us is not around.

On another note, deep down, I hear a longing to go out and be part of the WHO/UN volunteers for under-privilege countries - medical wise. I actually went to their websites to look for ways to apply, but failed. For now, I'll keep this passion in mind, until I am mature for the jobs - qualification is 3 years of working experience. I am not sure why I am very much attracted to Africa. It all started when Ai Huey told me to do a debate assignment on conflicts in Africa. I searched the net for the information. The interest does not stop there. I found The White Men's Burden by William Easterly and later, Commission for Africa: Our Common Interest - An Argument by Bob Geldof, both books are on nature of Africa and what policies work or don't, on that piece of unique land. Yes, unique is the way to describe what that continent has gone through and the consequences it is facing now, subject to the diverse cultural background of every clans and tribes present. I learn that, country is not a way to address the continent if we were to help them, but by acknowledging the existence of different clans that make up the entire community is. Because separation of a clan and forced integration of different clans were the main conflicts that resulted the many crisis which plaque the land, other than poor governance and outer factors.

To sum up my 2009, I cannot not give credit and acknowledgment to a group of friends I love deeply, for their presence and the fun I received. 2009 being a year of self-exploration, I learnt to understand what I can give up and what I would give up for. Despite the fact that I have graduated, I am still learning from them, and growing with them. I learn that love is perfect. I learn that no one can be replaced or replicated no matter how much others are trying to mimic them. I appreciate the time to hang out with them to feel that I still have a life. I thought I have given a lot to them. But no, they have given me much more in return. They gave me assurance about myself. They give me a space among them. They gave me an avenue to express my thoughts. They ~~let me make fun of them~~ brought me joy and love through good times and bad times. They inspired me to look up and think out of the box. They taught me different ways to look at life and appreciate the randomness and differences. They make me smile.

UM Royals 2009

A separate debate event in UM as well, not sure if it's in 2009.

Ai Huey's pre-wedding party

Christmas with housemates

Went to Istana Budaya for Puteri Gunung Ledang

So that's about it for my 2009. It's been a great year. I hope my 2010 be a great year, too, with more guidance from God, and to make a difference :) Cheers!

Love to Fall in Love ;-)

2009-12-29T08:02:00.000-08:00

I don't know how to structure a post anymore, for I've lost my mind. I keep thinking about you. Emotions floods my mind, words formed are only bits and pieces. Heart racing, cheek flushing, lips smiling at the sound of your name, at the thought us being together. I have never been this sure that I want you more than anything else. I know it from the first sight of you. The way you make the world stops as I stare at you, the way you make it easy for me to come to a decision.

The way my heart skips a beat when Lilac Purple colours my world :)

Samsung Star 3G (S5603)

- cannot locate an image of the light pink model, but it's basically how the phone looks like :)

Pictures!

2009-12-28T07:43:00.000-08:00

Some pictures taken while on the way back with June and Joan and Jill and Chun How, the Sunday after Christmas weekend :)

I love this picture the most, and am pretty proud of it, too, hahaha! It's like seizing the golden opportunity right when it's here!

I love sun sets :)

Another one, freezing the moment at the perfect timing :)

June, the first class driver :p

Rawr!

2009-12-22T03:55:00.000-08:00

1. Why does it have to be this windy and chilly at night? I still can't go swimming even if it does not rain!

2. Inspiration to make more cards does not hit me enough! I need more ideas please!

3. Missing RMAF (Royal Malaysian Air Force) fighter jet engine that costs RM50m was actually sold to an international company based in South Africa!

4. Decidophobic over the choice of enjoying the half-day leave on Christmas eve or Chinese New Year eve.

5. Run out of Milo 3 in 1!

6. Going home on Thursday evening. Thursday faster come!

7. Addicted to tetris!

8. What if Santa has no sense of direction too?

9. Nobody to explore Wave with :(

10. Is that all, the cute guys on this Earth?

Al. LCS

2009-12-21T07:29:00.000-08:00

Awestruck. Really.

How could you possibly sense that I was referring to you in my shout out message? And, actually responded to it the moment I changed it? You said because you can read my mind. Really? (But basically if you read my blog that means you're reading a big part of me already. You bluff-ologist!)

You commented that I typed a lot of chats in one go. And your eyes sore from reading it (serve you right, muahahaha!) But in fact, you got me speechless. You caught me with surprises, again.

:) Yes, it's you.

Yes. You.

2009-12-20T01:47:00.000-08:00

Stop catching me with surprises, even if you do not intend to. This weird feeling is only going to be here during this weekend, right? I'm just going to ignore it. Though it is strange that it is always here every time after I met you.

It took me ~~two months~~ ~~a semester~~ ~~two years~~ ~~whole uni life~~ ever to draw the line defining friendship and what-not. You're like a stranger to me. I don't know you anymore. You're like a part of me. Everything you do, I am awed that it fits nicely, like it is suppose to be.

You told me to stay focus, and I shall achieve it. You told me time heals, and I will get over you.

You lied.

I hate that we're better off with what we have now. I hate to finally reach the balance. I hate to keep watch at the lines. I hate what-ifs. I hate the self-controls I have with myself every time as I almost spilled out the unspeakable. I hate you don't know I'm still influenced by you. I hate the obvious fact that we complement each other.

I hate that you're the only guy who comes this close to making me tell you I love the way you being imperfect.