how does it feel..

How does it feel, when you wished to have a gulp from the cooling tin of Pepsi, the way the liquid quench you thirst, yet you don't have enough money to buy it?

How does it feel, when your children pleaded you to let them have a go on the pony toy machine yet you don't have enough money to insert into the machine to let it go alive?

How does it feel, when you know you are working in a foreign country and have to post money back to family in hometown yet the boss you are working under cheated your salary by giving you less than you deserve?

How does it feel, when you had nothing to buy from the supermarket yet you purchased a tiny little lolipop just to have a conversation with the cashier?

How does it feel, when a boy who looked like below 18 came and bought cigarette from you, but you dare not ask how old is he for fear of offence and had to make the business dealed anyway because you boss is watching?

How does it feel, when someone ask which country you were from and how the country is now, all you can say about your mother land is.."Oh, it's no good.."

I've been feeling these emotions in just three days at work. I was working in a supermarket near my house which business cannot compare "hyper"market like Jusco (or maybe mine is mini market and Jusco is supermarket). Most of the customers are from lower middle class or third class consumers. Some of them can afford occasional satisfaction of desire like purchasing junk food, a bottle of beer, a packet of cigarette (and, ok, condom as well). Some of them make a huge purchase in one go, probably they open a smaller scale market too, hee. But some, have to make long discussion and serious struggle and consideration with their friends just to buy a RM65.00 rice cooker together. There are children who's plea, beg, or even wail at their parent to buy them candy, yet, receive a slap on their face in return.

My job seems to become easier as I learn more everyday. All i need to do is scan and collect the items in front of me into plastics bags, collect money and return balance to customers, end with a "Thank you". If all were done carefully and correctly, everything is OK. On the other hand, it becomes harder at the same time as I seen those scences and feel those emotions inside me. It's more real than a reality TV. They happen everyday.

Whenever a kid received a slap on his face from his parents and started to cry, I always pray inside me: "Lord Jesus, please forgive both the parents and the kid, for they do not know what they are doing. Let Your love bring away the pain on the kid's face and the wrath in their parents' hearts. Please be there for them, they need a Sheperd."

Whenever I received an extensively folded notes handed carefully from my customer, I pray that: "May Lord give them sufficient in their lives."

I'm also very willing to pray for those who came and bought cigarette from us. Aleast to reduce the size of purchase from 20 cigarettes per box to 14 cigarettes per box, then to targeting Hacks instead of cigarette and finally, not to see them living in crave for cigarette anymore.

And from now on, whenever I met a foreign worker, it's either I shut up and don't ask where they were from or I don't ask them how's their motherland OR, I pretend I don't know Sri Langka is in no good condition due to the Tamil Eelam issue.