You paham?

It's easy for you to ask someone to do the supposedly most beneficial thing when you're in the majority.

Like how the French were just stupid to impose laws unto Muslim women not to wear veil because of how the majority might feel against them. It might be true that they feel disturbed seeing women clad in cloths all over. But it's not the Muslim's fault that they feel it this way. I'd say it's only human nature to see something out of the norm. But because the people who are against the veil are the majority, they have the say, and who cares about the minority? Even if it's nothing to do with the religion, that's not right to decide how a person should or should not dress herself up. Who are you, fashion police?

At the same time we have Muslim women who don't wear headscarf. The principles behind religious practices are not easily comprehended sometimes. But one must know that the least of all, it's not you who decide how to interprete the scripture, but let the scripture itself leads you to understanding a religion. You don't get to choose which part of the scripture you'd like to believe, which you wouldn't. God is not someone you believe in the way you wish Him to be, but He is someone you have to believe even if you haven't really understand Him, yet. In fact, nobody can fully understand God. He is too smart :)

Or the way you want to abolish sekolah Jenis on the grounds that they breed racial seggregation. Or the way you want everyone to only speak BM on the basis that every Malaysian should speak national language to show our patriotism. But that's exactly how you're missing out the point. Because it so happen that BM is your mother tongue, you don't feel the hit when one is asked not to speak the language he grows up with. Not simply because you have yet to know the beauty of other mother tongues in this land. In fact, Mandarin, Tamil and other languages are no longer the total mother tongue of a Malaysian in this generation now. Because we grow up speaking rojak to everyone. There's a bit BM in the Penangite's Hokkien and Teochew, a bit English in our BM, a bit Hokkien in BM. And only Malaysians say "-la". The best way to ask a person to understand the feel of cutting one's mother tougue from his lips, is to ask him not to sound like a Malaysian.

OK, buat kerja.

Seriously seriously?

Burning down churches doesn't make me angry. Not even a bit. I was only frustrated that some Malaysians are still unbelievably uncivilised. What makes me really mad is that the police actually spend time screening through posts in Facebook and track down people who "abuse" the online social tool. They actually take everything posted in Facebook seriously. Like, seriously seriously? Which era are they living in now?

We are living in the era where we don't just rely on one source for information, or easily being influenced by something said in a website. Even news in The Economist or New York Times, though everything has been edited and proof-read before publishing it online, the readers still have the responsibility to analyse the information and think critically whenever they read.

What's more, it's just an online social tool called Facebook, hello? It's true that many people are using it. But come on, who actually take things seriously in Facebook? It's more to a place for most people to NOT be themselves rather than the other way round. My Typing Maniac scores actually beat yours, I can so totally put it in my resume to apply work. Someone offered to splash petrol in churches if only any one would pay him, and this fellar got caught because of offering it, irregards if it was for real or other wise. How about those who had actually splashed petrol or red paints at churches? Where are they? Are they caught?

Don't think as the government has given a sum of money to repair the damage, the issue is over. We are still waiting to hold the real culprit responsible. After all, the money that the government gave away, comes from OUR pockets, too. Why do all of us have to be responsible for the damages when it wasn't us who started the fire at the first place?

Even if you were to charge one to serve as the warning message for the rest, to make everyone view this sensitivity issue seriously, I assure you that no one is going to take you seriously from now. We took the law seriously. We followed it. But what will happen if we don't? Nothing. Someone throw cow head in a Hindu temple, nobody got kick out of country even if he did not abide to the constitutional law that says we have to be respectful to others' religion. Someone smashed the cars, destroy properties that were not theirs, but the police defended the criminals by saying the smashing-cars issue were only rumors. Someone damaged the worship places, by fire or by red paints, the police sat in front of the computer checking Facebook. Someone stole the jets and sold them to a company in South America, but no one was hold accountable. Two freakingly huge jets for goodness sake! And nobody actually noticed that they were gone instantly?!

They can't catch the big fish, then maybe some small ikan bilis will do, huh? After all the People only want to see some result, no? And soon we will clap hands that some people were caught and made it to the headline of national newspaper, even if he is not necessarily responsible for the actual crime. Because we need to blame it to someone else, and close the case, and focus on 1Malaysia.

Malaysia Boleh.

Troubled Soul

Sometimes we thought our politicians are stupid. But I guess they're pretty smart when they know where to pick to stir people's heart, make themselves the center of attention and everyone talks about them - the whole free publicity package. I wanted to ignore the whole fiasco, assuming that everyone who has a sound mind can make their own judgement about what is right and wrong. But the fact that places of worship were burnt down and cars with symbols of Christianity were smashed proved that Malaysian is still far from achieving this expectation.

Or maybe we used to understand the idea of being respectful and tolerance to others. We used to have the kind of pure friendship that crosses cultural, religious, ethnic, racial borders. We understood we were different, yet we're so similar that we can speak each other's language. We were excited about the diversity. Our innocence gave us a pure heart. We loved each other so much that it aches me to see others condemn your beliefs even if I'm of different religion.

But what happen, is more than just confusion about religion (if there's any). I'd forgive one who acts without understanding. It's pitiful they have yet to understand the beauty of each religion, or the idea of religion means living a purposeful life guided with righteousness and truth.

But what I see, is the seed of pseudo-superiority being planted in the hearts of certain group of people, the abuse of religion by political leaders who does not put the people's best interest first. Even if they seem like championing your religion, seem to act with faith to fight evilness, do not be fooled by what you see.

Making one religion a national religion, doesn't make it a more superior religion in a country. Giving special rights and privileges to a group of people doesn't mean they shall forever stand at a higher ground and rule the rest. Sadly, when these two situation have been in-stored for too long in a country, the seed of superiority grows wild. With constant supply of fertilizers and sufficient surviving factors, it gets out of control, like a cancer. And eventually it spreads like virus to infect more people. The innocent will have their mindset distorted. They are CONFUSED by the blessings they received, which were taken out from the pockets of those who don't. They have changed, taken things for granted, and expected more to be given to them because they are "suppose" to be treated differently at the first place due to their superior status, at the cost of others' dreams and expectation.

They claim it is to avoid confusion. However, the more you want to protect a community from confusion, the more they are vulnerable to deviation and confusion that basically exist in every aspects in their life. I am decidophobe, I hate making decision but I know sometimes I just cannot avoid it. Making a decision makes me understand myself better. Likewise for being confused. Nobody like to be confused. We like things to be crystal clear, and easy to understand. But unfortunately confusing factors are every where. In fact, we have to live by walking out of confusions with better understanding and wisdom, so that we can grow as a human who thinks with their brain.

They claim it's because of the issue of sensitivity. That even if their holy book does not say the word is exclusive to them, but because if they are using the word, others who also use it may confuse their believers. That the community who profess in that faith is too large for us to ignore the diverse socioeconomic background, and hence their religious education level as well. That others have to understand that many of them have yet to grasp the essence of their teachings and hence a sensitive word may cause great confusion and deviation from the truth. But how about they confusing the other party who are also using it instead? Are they proudly committing crimes which themselves condemn? Every religion is perfect. You just need to have a little more faith in your religion to see that. If you don't, then it's too bad. No matter what others do, or DON'T do, it cannot help you to understand it better if you don't play your part.

Conflicts that stem out of religious differences do not only paint a bad picture of the side who started it, but also to the whole idea about religion. Atheist all around the world are happily condemning the existence of religion and the chaos caused by its differences. Burning down worship places only add to their list of evidences and reasonings that religion is a bad thing. Probably the following arguments are God does not exist and even if He does, He loves shedding of blood and hatred among its people. While the faithful have been working hard to restore the good image and debated hard to rescue God's kingdom, their own brothers and sisters are the one ruining their effort. Students were forced to swallow the entire History text books (which was more to History of a particular religion than the history of other happenings) and again forced to attend TITAS which was more to the said religion teaches Peace (like DUH, every other religion teaches Peace, too, ok?) for damages that they did not contribute, but their forefathers. Maybe the fight should stop now, already?

On the ruling of the High Court. It just shows how insignificant a decision from our High Court is. No matter how "high" it is, it's not higher than the Home Ministry's hand, it is no higher than the threat of the short-tempered, it is no higher than those who are too short to see that they are no more superior than others when it comes to obeying the law. It doesn't matter if the judge was a wise judge or the decision was made after days and nights of whole case studying and legal-clauses scrutiny. All it matters, is to entertain those who speak loudly, act violently, or anything that can be defined as terrorism.

I honestly love Malaysia and love my Muslim friends. I still do. Despite the fact that my fellow Christian brothers and sisters were being prosecuted because of the conflict with their religion, despite some people were committing evil acts in their name, despite the fact that we are different and inherently worship different Gods (but some say it's the same, yet it doesn't really matter). Because I understand what love is. Do you?

Whatever that happens, please remember to come back to Him. Refer His Words to find out the truth and ask for better understanding about His teachings. Because all things were created by Him. To love Him, is to love all his Creation. To believe in Him, is to uphold and live out His principles.

One God

Come ON, people! It's only a word! How many times do you have to appeal to AVOID someone mentioning the existence of God? Huh? HUH? Oh, unless you:

(a) believe in the existence of more than ONE God hence you make other people to use other names for their God(s). Let's say the word is a Kata Nama Khas, and there's only one God. Hence there should only be one name for Him. Period. If it's a Kata Nama Am, in whatever language it is, anyone who can speak may have the right to speak in the language that they're comfortable in, especially on this personal matter of religion and faith.

(b) believe that your religion is much more superior than others' hence you can copyright the word and maybe later the entire language. Language will then no longer be an art, because art has no boundaries. Language will no longer be a part of a culture to represent your identity. Because outsider cannot understand you, let alone the uniqueness of your so-called identity.

(c) your religion only center around that particular word and not the messages He wants to convey to you. Look at what you're doing, really. You spent day and night defending the word. What have we all learnt from you about your religion? That the word is exclusive to your religion. Period. What does your religion teach the followers? Love? Peace? We cannot really see that - You actually needed our PM to urge you to remain calm after the High Court ruled that some other people may use the word too. I wonder how peaceful our PM thought you were. But we're pretty sure it contains one word that means one God. But what does the one God teach us? Nevermind, it's not that important. Just remember the word. Don't you prefer more people to understand your religion beyond just the exclusivity of the word? Mind you, the word is not exclusive to your religion at the very first place. While all you care, is the word. Great.

That's how you show respect to the decision made by the High Court, huh? That whatever decision you don't like, you throw tantrum and let someone come and calm you down, and appeal against the decision for gazillion times until it's ruled otherwise. I have wasted my time wondering what is the job scope of Home Ministry and what are we paying them for.

Making Card is

Fun:

Variety of colours, shapes and sizes, different type of papers. Creative ideas excitedly rush into your mind and your hands make them into reality.

Selfless:

You block your calendar or schedule, dedicate the time into making cards. Usually I know when I should sit down and start the project, but I don't limit myself when it should be done. Because I want my creativity to bring me to you.

You start thinking of the person whom you want to dedicate the card to. And let the ideas flow in. I am not really a creative person. I need a lot of time for the inspiration to hit me, to consider if that person will like the combination of the colours, and many other factors. Sometimes I'd stare at a blank sheet of black colour paper for minutes, look around for other colours to match and contrast each other, cover a part of the paper to imagine them being cut into certain shapes and sizes, and wonder if it's a good fit. I'd make use of whatever I can grab hold of: paper puncher, pencil and ruler, glue, silver gel pen, Stabilo set of coloured markers, anything. It takes time to make one. Sometimes I'd come up with a nice one but have no idea who should I give it to. Sometimes I need to make one for a specific friend, but ended up deciding another friend will like it better. Because when I look at what I've made, if I thought about you, even if for no reason, I'd still give it to you. Because the point is: you must've been a wonderful person to me that I think of you when I look at something as lovely as the card.

You give your best into making a good one. If you're making many cards, that means you have to constantly put yourself into your creation. Because you don't spend time making things you don't like. And when you give the cards to those you mean them to, you're giving a part of you to them. Because your creation reflects upon yourself.

Healing:

If you love that person, you don't need a reason to make a card for him/her. If you dislike that person, there's even more reasons to make a card for him/her. Because you have to first make yourself to forgive that person in order to produce a beautiful card. As I said, one doesn't waste their time making something they don't like. That person could have been very mean to you in the past and might not forgive you even if you gave him/her your best card. But if you don't find a way to forgive him/her first, you yourself cannot move on but only stick to hatred for the past. Forgiving others is not only a command from God, but also a way to release yourself from the prison of rage.

It's Christmas time! Do you have anyone in mind you want to give a card to? Start making a card today! =)

Presents for me?? Part 2

On top of that, the main reason I don't quite like the idea of RM 20 gift is that, you can't really put a price tag on a gift. But well, of course, when it comes to gift exchange, it's different from any other gift giving occasion because we have to be fair, right?

Believe me, it's not that I don't want to tell my housemates what I like or don't like, or what I think is right or wrong. The thing is, I won't do that before I finish debating with myself. As the writing of this post, I am still debating with myself. The main clash is between it's-not-always-about-me vs the-real-meaning-of-a-present.

Of the things I listed down in my previous post, you notice that it is something I need, and I still will be happy to receive them. But if you were looking for clues what I could like or want as a gift from you, let me tell you straight - I am looking forward for something that is priceless, made by yourself.

It is troublesome. It takes time and effort. You have to crack your mind to make it. But to me, that is exactly the main idea of a gift. That you have to stay up thinking about me. That you have to go obsessive and crazy over finding the envelope of the right size (that is my personal experience). That you have to sore your hands writing all the love messages to me, telling me how you think about me, what is the virtue you like in me, remind me of the memories we have together, telling me what kind of person I am, telling me who am I to you.

Because I like things that cannot be found and bought off from shelf conventionally. I like personalised things that are really for me only. I like to be awed by the effort you put in, not the cost of the present. I guess my love language is the combination of Receiving Gifts, Words of Affirmation and Act of Service. I guess I am not an easy-to-please person at times, huh?

But when it comes to giving gift to others, it is about them, not me. And despite my opinion on what should a present be like, I have to understand their love languages and find them presents that will make them happy and feel special. The conflict here is, I need to communicate in their love languages, not using mine. Every time I come up with an idea what to write as the message or how to present the gift, it hits me that, I need to find something that cost RM20 first. But I am still going to try. Because the more you love someone, the more you want to please them, the more sacrifices you want to make, because their happiness matters more than yours.

And that is the real meaning of a gift.

Criminalise War

Today I went for a conference & exhibition on war crimes around my place. I have always known there are inhuman activities done in war prison, the torture during interrogation, and etc. But I've never understood much about it. I guess the main reason was because we being far from war zones have been ignorant towards the issues. Of course, I do find the mainstream media has been doing a good job in justifying the killings in a war, painting us the pictures those in power want us to believe in, and we didn't question much. There are outcries about war crime here and there, but it barely makes an impact to us who live an ordinary life, which is more to heavenly if compared to those imprisoned in war prison and those in war zones. I felt very bad as I walked through the tunnel in the exhibition. pictures of babies suffering from the effect of depleted uranium from nuclear weapons, malnutrition due to sanctions, suspects being tortured in Abu Ghraib, children who couldn't make it to schools or have a decent childhood playing outdoor, men who prayed to live long enough for the next meal.

I'm glad to be educated about what is happening behind scene. Theoretically sanctions or engagement could fail or work, either way, we always hope the government of a country will treat its people with respect, unlike the Sudanese government who actually hired private military company to carry out ethnic cleansing. But what really happen in a country under sanctioned is not as what we think. The Big Powers even go to the extend of banning pencil, medical swab, toothpaste going into the Iraq. Medical supply is a necessity for every place human inhabit! It is too apparent that the people there were pushed to extinction on purpose. I wonder what else that the outside world doesn't know. Maybe, we shouldn't have invaded Iraq at the first place. Torture in the name of interrogation for terrorist information couldn't be justified for the trickle-down effects (such as abuses) it brings, too. Water-boarding, limited space confinement, electrocution, and many more tortures we couldn't have imagine ourselves going through for hours, were done on the prisoners. No matter how we tried to justify it, we opened door for more casualties and killings.

It also hit me that, changing the mindset of the people living in comfort is important, too. Because they are the one with the resources and power to do something. If they'd move out from their comfort zone, they can change the way things are handled now. And in the mean time, raising more awareness among those around them, make a bigger impact. But what is more important, is to change the mind of the leaders who called for those wars at the first place. Irregards of on what ground a war is started, it kills. Not just one or dozens, but hundreds and thousands of innocent life are sacrificed. If killing a person is a first degree crime, what about burning down villages with bombs and rockets? Why aren't the master minds behind these murders be punished? At one point I felt helpless because I am not the one in power to stop the war or to end the conflicts. But I hope I can help to change the mindset of my society, making them see what is happening to our mankind, and move a soul to be compassionate about their sufferings. I hope everyone could understand that we can achieve more by having a bigger team, and eventually the ones in power can no longer ignore us.

Shut down Guantanamo Bay and Abu Ghraib. Send that BU-ll SHit and his army to trial. Find out more at www.criminalisewar.org today.

Foreign Locals

A short article in NST on 23/10/2009 titled Malaysia 3rd best for outsourcing.

Malaysia ranks third after India and China for outsourcing and more than 90,000 job opportunities have been created by multinational companies that have invested here. During question time yesterday, Deputy Ministry of International Trade and Industry Datuk Jacob Dungau Sagan told the house that a recent study showed Malaysia was a favourite among foreign companies. This year alone, 23 foreign companies invested RM1.02 billion, which will create 4,265 new job opportunities over five years, he said.

He didn't say the jobs are for Malaysians.

On 18/10/2009, Home Minister Datuk Seri Hishammuddin Tun Hussein reported Sabah to have 610,614 foreigners detected, the legal ones are only 230,000 (source from NST article). If you're living in Kuala Lumpur, you may have more than once being surrounded by foreigners when you're doing your shopping, taking a bus ride, eating out, and so on. Even the tourists may have mistaken them to be Malaysian because there are just too abundant of them around here!

I do admit, Malaysia needs foreign workers. But no matter what, we don't welcome those with dubious behaviour. We don't welcome Indonesian maids who abuse the children she's paid to take care of, or run away her employer's money and jewelries. It's our fault for mistreating the maids, hence no doubt those employers must be punished. But the employers' actions do not justify the maids' misconduct either. Why is the Indonesian government barking at us?

We don't welcome foreign workers who are illegal. If you don't have an identity here, you don't have the responsibility to carry yourself properly. Because it's difficult for us to identify you when you've committed a crime, or two, or more. We don't have the incentive to take care of you if you're not registered. And because you're not taken good care of, you take it out on the Malaysians. Rape cases, robbery, drug trafficking, murders, and the list goes on. Of course, not all (illegal) foreign workers are this bad. But if you have nothing to hide, why not use the proper way to come visit/work here? Tedious procedures? That's right. Those procedures are there for a reason - we don't need an influx of foreign workers to flood our job markets.

One may argue that the jobs taken up by them are jobs the choosy Malaysian to ego to have. But mark my words: the trend is changing fast. We always thought most of the foreign workers work in plantations and construction sites. The next thing you know, they're also working in factories and offices as maintenance staff (cleaning ladies). Not for long, you realise that they are operating the machines in those factories, and running around in coffee shops as a cheap labor for the tauke. Now, a lot of high-end restaurants are hiring them in a large scale as waiter and waitresses. Believe me, those I've come across give very good services, and are even friendlier than Malaysian counterparts. The only problem is their language proficiency, which gives them away every time they speak. So, are these jobs too lowly a job for Malaysians, too?

The biggest problem regarding the trend mentioned above is that it is a vicious cycle. We let foreign labors take up more "higher profile" jobs over the years. As Malaysians see that those jobs which once were theirs have now been labeled as "foreign worker's" job, and are instantly associated with others low profile jobs which are also taken up by the foreign workforce, Malaysian hence have a skewed mindset about working in these same positions. In the end, lesser locals want to fill those vacancies, leaving it a reason for more influx of foreign workers into Malaysian job market. And the cycle goes on.

We don't like the idea how the government is having double standard when it comes to granting citizenship to the long time inhabitants. Some foreign workers have only been here for 2 years and are granted Permanent Residence status, or even citizenship, while there are people who have been applying it through the legal, tedious process for more than 40 years but never hear a news from Home Ministry.

Back to the article mentioned. When we talk about multinational companies, what hit our minds is their profit-orientated nature. There is absolutely nothing wrong to be so. In fact, I even think that we should run our country like how we run our companies: invest in new potential employees and train them for free; send the existing ones for continuous growth from time to time; analyse business opportunity properly and take the best plunge; fulfill corporate social responsibility to increase company image; weed out corruption and have trust amongst colleagues; spend every cent at the most beneficial way with bigger returns in mind; the vision is to expand our influence all around efficiently.

My problem with that nature, however, is the fact that they hence tend to hire cheap foreign labors instead of Malaysians, even if they invested in Malaysia. Don't tell me that the higher position such as the branch manager might be a Malaysian, but look at the ratio of those who are benefited, 50 to 1, maybe? We applaud the advantages brought by foreign investors. New market, more competition for local business , more choices for consumers (I love this benefit dearly), among others. But really, is our government really doing enough in the check and balance for this foreign-investors-benefiting-the-locals move?

Think about it.

Stay away from me, please Don't.

There's this bioethic debate about quarantine for those with severely infective diseases. I used to think that those with confirmed or suspected cases of highly infectious disease should be quarantined so that they don't harm the larger scope of the society. Protecting the majority should always be the interest of the government, and the society should understand the importance of this policy.

There's also another side of the coin, where I think if the said patients are confined together in a corner of the world for good, the virus probably will be transmitted to each other, causing continual infection among the group. I wonder if this is helping the patients to be cured from the disease. Should the disease is not treatable, wouldn't spending the final few days of life on Earth with their family or loved ones something deeply desired by the patients?

On the first day of quarantine itself, Pret had messaged me about the shocking news of confirmed cases in KTSN. I was at my office as I received the sms. But nonetheless it didn't stop me from being worried for my kids there, for they just came back from an exhausting debate tournament over the weekend. I hope their immune systems are still strong enough to shield them from the infectious H1N1 virus.

Later only it occurred to me that my friends who are still staying in KTSN 1 cannot leave the hostel for one freaking week! That means they have to settle all three meals in KTSN cafe, buy their (over-priced) daily necessities from the convenient shop inside there, no class, cannot meet supervisor in person to discuss their thesis, cannot go to lab to feed their experiment mice, no movies, no shopping marathon during this Megasale period, and cannot stay as far as possible from potential viral carrier. They only have each other, in their world of cross-infection-proned land.

This absolute boredom and dreading anxiety over deadlines would have killed my friends before H1N1 does, unless the former occupy their time with some other things such as assignments, revisions, and last but not least, the ultimate treatment to cure bored people:

missing me :-)

As they were passing... and passed

No one deserves to die. No one even has the right to say someone is better off dead, for the moment of returning to the Lord is always a sacred one. And the deceased should be respected irregards of what he has done during his time on the Earth, for we make mistakes too, hence shall not be the one who judges others.

May Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett rest in peace.

Greyish Growth

Because growing up is not so much of knowing what is right and what is wrong, for even if something is always right or otherwise, there could have been something one has done right to cause the wrong that is visible. The invisible side is the grey area which is not for us to judge.

And growing up is about looking at the grey area and try to understand with love.

Love is when...

Love is when someone turns up at your doorstep, grinning, with a pack of durians at his side.

Love is when you open the fridge to find that it is almost empty, except a pack of milk sitting innocently at the middle rung.

Love is when you got to eat home-made dumpling during dumpling season! [Dee Dee faster come back eat bak zhang lah!]

Love is when your sister is egging you to switch off the lights even if you haven’t had enough reading before sleep.

Love is when someone suddenly can’t be reached and you begin to worry about him.

Love is when even if your husband doesn’t understand the dialogues in the drama yet he watches every episodes of it with you.

Love is when your daughter watches the football match with you even if she knows nuts about the sports, simply because the time for her to spend at home with you is getting shorter and shorter.

Love is when you’re forgiven for a mistake you did.

Love is in the food served on the table, free of charge.

Love is when a friend is willing to help you to move into a new place.

Love is when you’re nagged about the same thing again and again.

Love is when someone asks you if you want coffee. Or, Sparkling Ribena ;-)

Love is when someone asks if you will be seeing each other again.

Love is when you have a partner to roll on the floor laughing together while watching silly cartoons.

Love is when someone sings your name in a two-notes melody.

Love is when the book stores have SALES!

Love is when the radio station plays your favourite song.

Love is when God spent His time planning your future for you, that you’ll have a role in His mighty works. That you’re awed to speechlessness when you see everything fits nicely with each other.

I fell for a married man

Yes I did. I mean, am.

For the first time I saw him, my heart stopped. The world became silent. His eyes spoke a thousand words to me, then I got drunk, without the help of double shot of Smirnoff. His smile was lethal. It captured my wandering mind and injected a deadly shot of American Idol addiction into me. Or maybe just addiction to him.

I am was never an American Idol (AI) fan. I had never sat in front of the screen long enough to finish a round of the contest. Everyone was talking about how intense the showdown was during the Grand Finale of Season 7, between the two talented and well-loved Davids. I gave a glimpse to David Archuleta, and noticed that he has very cute smile. And I walked off. That was all my AI frenzy, if it was considered as one.

As I got back Penang, I decided to give AI one more try, because apparently I have all the time in the world to do something which I usually don't have the time for. It so happened that the show was on when I was doing channel surfing. I gasped as I saw this charming smile of Kris Allen on the screen. He.is.so.CUTE.and HOT that my TV nearly got exploded! And the show just ended. I made a note to myself that I will catch the next appearance of him on screen.

And I did some background check on that fella. He's from Conway, Arkansas, 23-year-old Christian worship leader in his church, who is majoring in business studies in University of Central Arkansas. He arranges songs into his own styles, sings to reach out and dazzle the audiences, plays guitar, piano, keyboard, and viola. He is shy and humble and such a boy next door! But too bad he's married to his girlfriend of seven years. His voice is comfortable and he sings into everyone's heart. He also has the unexplainable attractiveness which makes no one can take his or her eyes off him.

It also always occurs to me that his competitor from San Diego, California - Adam Lambert, is an outstanding performer, quite obviously to be honest. No one can miss this 26-year-old contestant's high-pitched vocal ability, the ever perfect superstar charismatic moves on the stage (thanks to his experience with theatre and choir during high school, and as a stage actor since young, maybe?) , and the eyeliner ;-) Speaking of aura as an artist, Adam surely has what it takes to be a shining star - confidence, talent, perseverance, handsome and consistently awesome performance to make everyone goes enchanted.

But what is lacking in Adam, yet is found in Kris, is the ability to connect with the audience. What Paula said during the Grand Final about Kris was right - the ability to connect with the audience, as if he was singing to oneself only. When it comes to picking your idol, or the idol for your country, which one will you choose? The one who seems as if he's borned to be IN the spotlight, with his talents casting out doubts about him being crowned as the last one standing, or the one who is well gifted with the art of music and comfortable voice which melts your heart? 

Never mind about the aura and charisma of being a superstar or an artist. Adam could be a great performer, but so what? Kris has what it takes to be one's Idol. Adam could be astonishing, but what makes the entertainment business, is the performance of an artist who can keep the audiences' interest, by connecting to them, and be their real hearthrob. If being an artist was to entertain the audience with one's own style, what could be more important than the ability to dazzle the latter with his songs to give the sense of ultimate closeness and belonging? Being an idol is not just being outstanding with extraordinarily splendid performances, but being one everybody looks up to, to locate the insipration and find refuge in music, the familarity of standing on the ground, just like a boy next door ;-)

p/s: And please, you Adam Lambert's fans, let's face it, Adam's defeat was not because of "Christians" votes to Kris. You can't blame anybody for Adam's inability to make one feels connected to him, and of course, this has nothing to do with Adam being *cough* gay *cough* as well. Alright, maybe with his eyeliner.

Check out also, Jun Hoe's post

Snail Mail

It is a term used for mails sent by postman, through manual delivery system, after Internet and email system has been invented. Don’t quote me for that, for I am not sure if it is true. But it does occur to me as such, because before the invention of the latter, all mails were sent manually. It took weeks or months for a letter, card or parcel to arrive, and hence communication between mankind via this system were very slow, not forgetting that papers and ink were expensive back then.

Through ages of advancement in science and technology, transportation system has improved tremendously, allowing mails to be sent at a greater speed to recipients. Together with the break through in information technology, the invention of Internet and emailing system provide an alternative method of communication – a method which does not need a postman in the process of message delivery for long distance communication.

No doubt it has improved the connectivity between mankind, and speed up the necessary interactions between human. The latter even makes businesses dealt more speedily, exchanging knowledge and information in matters of seconds, and many more benefits which result in the society we have today – fast paced and tightly knitted social networks. On the other hand, mails which are not delivered by this system are termed snail mail, simply because the latter process takes longer time than the emailing system to achieve the same purpose in communication.

It leaves one wonders if one day the snail mail will totally be replaced by the more popularly favoured emailing system. The latter is fast, accurate and convenient. While the former, it’s relatively slower, efficiency depends heavily on the officers in a post office, weather, dogs along the way, and many more factors. Will the people still use the slower system to send a message across, risking the mail to be lost some where on the way to the recipient?

The answer is Yes. And it always will be. There are messages important enough to be hand-written down by the sender herself, revealing her upmost sincerity and emotions through every alphabet.

And sometimes, pictures.

The authenticity of a card written all over with one’s own handwriting, with every careful stroke of the pen landed on the paper tells how much a person has been terribly missed, the uncontainable excitement while imaging her friend receiving it with surprise, the joy while inserting the envelope-full of love into the mailbox, the anxious wait for her friend’s reply after trusting the postman will deliver the mail, and the cycle repeats. 

Technology does make things happen at lightning speed, with shortening the agony of anxious waits as the main benefit. But doesn’t the wait strengthen the faith we have in the relationship between friends? Will one not be thrilled to know someone spent TIME picking a card, writing a letter for him or her, take the trouble to send it (across the South China Sea) via snail mail?

I am thrilled to receive Xu Vin’s card today. Thank you dear :-)

Friendster = Facebook wannabe, or the other way round?

Facebook asked me "What is on my mind." Do you really want to know what is on my mind? At this moment, these are what I think, maybe there will be more to come.

1. Facebook is getting more and more Friendster-ish. 

(a) That everyone is adding everyone for no apparent reason. I have dozens of people adding me whom I have no idea about. Seriously! There was this guy as I asked him how we knew each other, he told me one of our common friends suggested me to him. Common friend MY FOOT la, I checked his profile, we don't even have any common friend to begin with!

(b) Do you remember the act-cute photos all over Friendster? Please, camwhore is one thing, acting cutesy is another. The former is an art, which you don't have to act cute to look artistic. While the latter, it's self-explainable - act cute, which, is a sickening art. Yes, this may be harsh, but the pathetic photos are plain annoying, especially if you've known that you're not an eye candy yet raise your eyes brows to make your eyes look bigger and pout your lips to act sexy [Admit it, only the rare few have the sex appeal, and most of the people are in the majority yet they remain in denial.].

(c) There's even a petition passed around to urge Facebook letting us know who view our profile. Goodness, that exactly what is going to make Facebook a Friendster wanna-be: Let's see who has checked me out today; oh, there are like 100 people viewed my profile today, I am so popular *ahaks*; let's compare whose profile is viewed most; [in future] APPLICATION: profile hits counter - update every MINUTE; oh, that dude checked me out, let's go check out his as well; hm, why is XX's boyfriend checking me out?; hm, why is YY checking MY boyfriend out?;

Honestly, it is making everyone such an attention seeker and flood the Newsfeed with unimaginable craps to so-called keep in touch.

2. Astronomical number of application is making everyone more self-searching than searching for friends' contacts. Yes, I do understand some quizzes do have interesting title and it is not wrong to give it a try. But do you realise that now we can no longer choose NOT to publish the result? There is one even worse. Are You A True Penangite quiz doesn't even have any questions! I just hit the button to add the application so that I can have a look at the questions, but it went straight away telling me that I am a true Penangite. What the *TUT*?! 

*calm down* OK, and I do understand that some people posted up the quizzes just for fun. Some of the answers are plain lame and some of them just thought of sharing it as a good laugh for everyone. That is very nice of them. But not everyone will find it funny, you see, especially those who are not interested to know MORE about you. They're just keeping you in the list so that in future whenever they need to contact you, they know where to find you. Other than that, some people took the quiz for self entertainment. They didn't mean to publish the result for the gazillions of quizzes they took. But now that Facebook doesn't allow people to choose NOT to publish it, that's not what they can control now, is it?

An extension to that, what hit me is the idea of individualism [if I use the word correctly]. Everything is drawing attention to ourselves - the status message: what is on YOUR mind?; xxx is the rough endoplasmic reticulum in the What Eucaryotic Organelle are YOU test; yyy is a good lover,  and so on, everything is about yourself! The plethora quizzes they took, the catching status messages, the video links they shared, the photos updated, even when you're sending virtual Secret Recipe cakes to your friends or taking a quiz about your friend, or leaving a friendly public messages on your friends' walls, the attentions are drawn to you as well! What a fantastic venue for attention-seeker, and a good platform for getting addicted to the limelight, too.

And, lesser and lesser people are interested in sending private messages and wall post now. The ones that we type out by ourselves, dedicated to those particular friends. Because interactions are more to commenting about the quizzes you took, should one is interested. One may suggest that though those quizzes might not be accurate, and the attention-drawing part is sickening, at least it keeps everyone informed of each others' activities, and create chances for interaction. It is up to us how we see it and make use of it, right? *weak smile* 

In this virtual spaces, I wonder if those interaction really means a lot now. It makes me value real life even more, the friends who are right in front of us, whom we can wrap our arms around and feel the warmth. For those who're at a far away land, I'd rather email them and keep them updated with first hand informations myself. Or, they can always visit my blog to know more. Though blog is also just another virtual spaces on the net, at least it tells everyone more than mere Cher Linn is a true Penangite. While for those who are not interested to read about me, they can choose not to visit, while being able to visit other blogs freely. Unlike in Facebook, while you're interested to know more about someone, you have to agonise your eyes reading about some other people whose quiz results have kept you busy hiding them for the past 20 minutes.

My Take on Facebook

To a certain extent I thought this friend of mine is smart when he insists not to join Facebook despite the constant pressure and "discrimination" we put on him. Well, to be honest I was awed at how cool the online social website was when I first signed up. Cool and elegant layout, simple and user friendly. And another reason was because I found a lot of old friends' contacts there. These friends whom I never thought I'd be able to keep in touch again, now are just a click away! And that meets the purpose of online social tools - to keep friends in touch with each other.

However, as Facebook evolves into something more than just an online social tool, when they add in a lot of applications and games which are supposely to further encourage the interaction among the users, and when I am too frequently informed of some unexpected behaviours of my friends in Facebook, I begin to wonder if Facebook is really that awesome now.

If you were to check out Facebook's blog or follow up with their chronology, you'd realise that Facebook has improved over time. Or at least I do think so. Previously the privacy level was very low. For example, what application you added, or quizzes you took, will all turn up in your friends' News Feed. And they will read about it. Of course, some of us may love the attention, but apparently some of us don't really like it to be this transparent. Hence soon we got to choose to hide certain information from being announced out loud. We can now choose to make it appear only on our own profile silently, and let those who're really interested to check it out with their own initiative, or, not to appear at all, and only you yourself will know the stupid (and sometimes funny) result of the quizzes.

I have been silencing a lot of unwanted infomation about my friends in the News Feed. For example, the result of the quizzes. Seriously, those quizzes are plain lame. But of course it's not wrong to give it a try. And if it is something funny, friends will comment about it, and there goes the interaction. However, sometimes there are just things I am totally not interested to know. For example, if one is a good kisser/lover or not. Because everyone seems to have positive results of ALL the tests. That explains basically all my scepticism towards the credibility of the quizzes.

Besides, as other online social tools, it cannot prevent your "friends" from stalking you on the web. Or worse, according to Cleo 2009 April issue (OMG where's my Gaya UKM?), some couples even stalk each other on the web! And soon you have this friend who knows that your boyfriend who accepted a sunflower Growing Gift from a popular rock-star friend of his who is a neighbour to your friend's relative who score 116 in his IQ test. And I haven't started about the inside jokes we shared among ourselves as we leave pictures/notes/videos comments which then become a public thing as long as that person is approved as a friend of yours. Right. All one need is an unsuspicious approval from you, and your friends (hence he'll have the Common Friends to draw links with) and there goes the exploration.

All this while I have been very careful on the approval thing. If I am not sure who that person is, I will check out his profile and pictures if possible to force myself to recollect someone named XXX. If at the end of the day, I am sure I don't know this person, then I won't feel guilty at all to ignore that fella. If I have no access to that person's profile, I'd send him a message asking him how we know each other (politely, of course). If that person didn't bother to reply, then of couse I will ignore him from then. Sometimes I don't even bother to check one's profile when I am sure I never have a friend named YYY.

And I have unchecked a lot of notification to be sent to my email account, giving myself some peace of mind. I value messages in Inbox and Wall in Facebook. That is how I love interaction between friends to be - real conversation with words, to a certain extent that I don't mind if you were to drop by and vandalise my Wall by typing some random words. Because I know you miss me, hee hee~ I don't mind if you don't send me FunToys everyday, although they are really cute.

Oh yeah, till here, I would like to announce that, I have not signed into Facebook since four days ago, and will not do so until mid of May. I have no way to sign in because I gave my password to a friend of mine whom I trust, to change it and keep it from me until I finish what I am suppose to pay attention to now. I believe he will not abuse my identity and will not infringe my privacy, too. I need to take my mind off Facebook a while. Surprisingly I have yet to long to sign into Facebook since then, and I have been feeling sick of the endless unnecessary applications and nonsense quizzes, and, some friends' behaviour. Sometimes it is best I don't know that they have a tendency to do such things so that my perception towards them will always remain positive.

*Until this point I can't help but to realise this post has very bad structure.*

But I still hope that smart friend of mine will get himself a Facebook. It is more fun to talk bad about someone right at their face lol. And because spamming on Facebook Wall is more fun than spamming in his near-forsaken blog.

What I like About Black Out

When I was a kid, when my grandparents were still around, we usually went over to their house for dinner. And after dinner my parents will watch the news with my grandparents. There were times we had blackouts in the evening, right before we had our dinner. We would light on those old oil lamp, and had our dinner under the dim yellow light. The dinner tasted the same, and the conversation were as warm as ever. What excites me about blackout back then was, because there was no electricity during the news hour, we had all the excuses to ask the adults to bring us to the playground opposite of my grandparents' house. I love the swing.

After my grandparents had passed away, we would have dinner in our own home. And when there were blackouts at night, we would light the candles, put at various location of the house, so that we still can move around the house if we needed to. Most of the time, we would all sit in the living room, and do something which doesn't need electricity - sharing about what has happened in school, work, talk about the cartoon we never tired watching, and everything else.

Don't you realise when we're supplied with electricity, we're always distracted from what is essentially the more important things in our life? Of course, watching news on TV, replying emails or studying are also important. We stay connected to the OUTSIDE world. But what about to the world around you? We have all the means to do more, and go beyond what used to be our limits. Yet, have we actually pay attention to what is right in front of us?

As the light goes off, everything comes to a halt. We look around, to see what is happening. We see darkness. But hey, what remain glowing is the love from the eyes of our close ones. Do they always glow so charmingly like the stars in the sky? My, shame on me that I never notice that. Not when David Cook's songs are played repeatedly in my SonicStage.

That is when we would go back to basics, go back to the time when we would scramble around for candles and lighters, and sit around in the living room, to spend undisturbed time with the ones who mean a lot to us, whose love have always been around yet neglected.

Today is the day, when we do not need to wait for TNB to switch off the power, but we take the initiative to turn off the distraction ourselves, and spend some quality time, enjoying the beauty of darkness with those who truly deserves our attention. It may not be so much of conserving energy or saving the Earth from more global warming (doesn't matter if it could or otherwise), because it's more to remembering the virtue of connection, not using the internet, that is.

Earth Hour, this is for you =)

SHUT UP SHUT UP!!

To The Star SMS News Alert team:

YOU SHUT UP! I DON'T NEED YOU TO KEEP ME UPDATED FOR EVERY TWO MINUTES ON THE UMNO YOUTH /WANITA CHIEF WHATEVER POLL BECAUSE I.DON'T.CARE WHO'S GOING TO BE THE KONONNYA "ELECTED" ONE! IN FACT, WHO CARES WHO IS ELECTED? AS THE ELECTED PERSON TAKES THE POST, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS STILL HOW HE/SHE CARRIES OUT HIS/HER DUTY AND NOT SO MUCH ON WHO EXACTLY HE/SHE USED TO BE OR WORSE, LINKED TO. CAN'T YOU JUST KEEP THE SMS ALERT SHORT AND SWEET BY JUST REPORTING THE FINAL OUTCOME AND NOT THE COMMENTATOR VERSION?!

(Edited: Alright, after listening to Pau, we do have to care about who will be elected because those people are going to "automatically" become someone more influencial in our country, even without the constitutional law acknowledging the automatic promotion. But this post is to emphasize on the overwhelming scrutinization of the political world by the media.)

IS IT BECAUSE TO AVOID BEING BANNED LIKE WHAT HARAKAH AND SUARA KEADILAN IS FACING, YOU HAVE TO REPORT NOTHING BUT ONLY NEWS SUPPORTING THE GOVERNMENT OR HUMILIATING THE OPPOSITION? I AM VERY SICK OF YOU, YOU ARE SO NOT A MEDIA BECAUSE YOU HAVE REPORTED TOO MANY "NEWS" WE DO NOT APPRECIATE! OH WAIT, YOU ARE INDEED A MEDIA, BECAUSE MEDIA IS THE BEST THING TO BE EXPLOITED BY THE POLITICIANS.

CAN'T YOU REPORT ON SOMETHING GOOD A POLITICIAN HAS DONE RATHER THAN FOCUSING ON THOSE CONTROVERSIAL NEWS? EVEN IF THE PROPOSAL/PROJECT IS NOT SUCCESSFUL, AT LEAST WE WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THAT SOMEONE HAS PUT IN EFFORT TO FIGHT FOR US IN THAT ASPECT. AND THAT IS WHAT A POLITICIAN SHOULD BE REPORTED ABOUT, YOU SADDIST AND CONTROVERSIAL-AND-GOSSIPS-LOVING EXPLOITED MEDIA!

p/s: Even if at the end I choose to unsubscribed from you, it doesn't mean I am no longer influenced by your irritating reportings. I will still be affected by it because what you have reported is going to shape our society for tomorrow. Please, make yourself useful. We've got brains waiting to be fed real information into.

A Parent's Investment

Do you remember the time when you were a kid and your dad will carry you on his shoulder? Do you remember the time when you kept looking out at the classroom door, searching for your mum, who stood there for the entire day, watching you going through your first day of school, just to make you feel safer in the new environment?

How is it like, for parents to watch their kids grow, from crying babies to crawling toddlers, to mischievous kids, to unpredictable teenagers, to mature grown-ups? From barbie dolls and remote-control cars to perfume and gadgets.

It involves a lot of patience, heart-breaks, faith, love, tears, fears, protection, and hope.

That a parent would do anything, to make sure his child has the best of everything, or at least, the best that they can afford, even if that means he has to sacrifice so much that he has lost count of them. Well, he never intends to remember his sacrifices since the beginning anyway. That he will wait in the rain with that umbrella in his hand, so that when the school bus arrives to send the kids home from school, his kid will not get wet, not even a little. 

That a parent would invest a lot of faith, believing that everything she does will enable her child to grow up to be a better person, even if that means she has to bear the heart-breaking thought of what if that stroke on that tiny palm she gave her child earlier will make the latter hates her. The fear of their kids unable to adapt well to the outside world, yet having faith that it is the best way for their child to grow, and their kid will make it through.

The anticipation that, after all the sacrifices, the child will be a successful person, standing tall among others, and make the parents proud because of the good value showed. The prayers every night that the child will be wise and humble as they grow up, that they will be strong to face the challenges, to fight the battles gracefuly like how the previous generation did, and overcome the storm victoriously. 

The hope that, the child will never forget the values the parents taught, and will reciprocrate all the patience and love to the latter when they get older.

I'm going to work hard. I have a mission, which is to make my parents proud of me, that I fought the battle gracefully. And I will remember the day my dad stood outside the classroom, watching me going through my first day of school, hoping that one day I will be who I am today.

The Licence to Pay

There's this customer who complained to my manager about me not being sentive enough on who should pay for the bill after a meal in a restaurant. After that, he still requested to talk to me personally.

Man:"Of course it's the men who should pay for the girls! If your boyfriend brought you out for a meal, SURE you'd expect him to pay for you right?"

Me (thinking): "WHAT?! No... Firstly, I won't EXPECT anyone (friends/dates/boyfriend) to pay for me at the first place, especially not at a high-end restaurant which serves fancy food, unless they tell me before hand that they're treating me for some reasons, like birthday or to show gratitude or something. Secondly, it'll be we-pay-for-our-own-meals policy, so-called A-A Principle. Or, we take turns to treat each other. Personally, I have no problem with my guy friend letting me taking the honor to pay, occasionally. And, if it's the girl who paid at the end, I strongly believe it's actually a humiliation to the guy(s) at the table if I hand the bill to them before that. I've seen equal amount of times women paying for the table with the presence of men and vice versa. Even if it's a bit insensitive of a waiter to do so, I usually place the bill on the table without facing anoyone in particular. Unless: If it's apparent that it's a family and who the father was, I'd hand the bill to him; if it's only one adult and some kids then to the adult; if it's unavoidable then slightly more often I'd place the bill nearer to a guy or anyone who expected/called for the bill. So what's the problem?"

But apparently I don't have much choice in this case. So my answer was:

Me: "Yes, sir, I'm sorry about that."

Happy Valentine's day =)