Saturday, October 31, 2009

Criminalise War

Today I went for a conference & exhibition on war crimes around my place. I have always known there are inhuman activities done in war prison, the torture during interrogation, and etc. But I've never understood much about it. I guess the main reason was because we being far from war zones have been ignorant towards the issues. Of course, I do find the mainstream media has been doing a good job in justifying the killings in a war, painting us the pictures those in power want us to believe in, and we didn't question much. There are outcries about war crime here and there, but it barely makes an impact to us who live an ordinary life, which is more to heavenly if compared to those imprisoned in war prison and those in war zones. I felt very bad as I walked through the tunnel in the exhibition. pictures of babies suffering from the effect of depleted uranium from nuclear weapons, malnutrition due to sanctions, suspects being tortured in Abu Ghraib, children who couldn't make it to schools or have a decent childhood playing outdoor, men who prayed to live long enough for the next meal.

I'm glad to be educated about what is happening behind scene. Theoretically sanctions or engagement could fail or work, either way, we always hope the government of a country will treat its people with respect, unlike the Sudanese government who actually hired private military company to carry out ethnic cleansing. But what really happen in a country under sanctioned is not as what we think. The Big Powers even go to the extend of banning pencil, medical swab, toothpaste going into the Iraq. Medical supply is a necessity for every place human inhabit! It is too apparent that the people there were pushed to extinction on purpose. I wonder what else that the outside world doesn't know. Maybe, we shouldn't have invaded Iraq at the first place. Torture in the name of interrogation for terrorist information couldn't be justified for the trickle-down effects (such as abuses) it brings, too. Water-boarding, limited space confinement, electrocution, and many more tortures we couldn't have imagine ourselves going through for hours, were done on the prisoners. No matter how we tried to justify it, we opened door for more casualties and killings.

It also hit me that, changing the mindset of the people living in comfort is important, too. Because they are the one with the resources and power to do something. If they'd move out from their comfort zone, they can change the way things are handled now. And in the mean time, raising more awareness among those around them, make a bigger impact. But what is more important, is to change the mind of the leaders who called for those wars at the first place. Irregards of on what ground a war is started, it kills. Not just one or dozens, but hundreds and thousands of innocent life are sacrificed. If killing a person is a first degree crime, what about burning down villages with bombs and rockets? Why aren't the master minds behind these murders be punished? At one point I felt helpless because I am not the one in power to stop the war or to end the conflicts. But I hope I can help to change the mindset of my society, making them see what is happening to our mankind, and move a soul to be compassionate about their sufferings. I hope everyone could understand that we can achieve more by having a bigger team, and eventually the ones in power can no longer ignore us.

Shut down Guantanamo Bay and Abu Ghraib. Send that BU-ll SHit and his army to trial. Find out more at today.

Friday, October 30, 2009


That's the biggest I can post it. But you may click on the link to visit their official website. I HAVE BEEN asking myself why haven't they come up with these plans already? Yes, it's now available! Faster pass probation period, FASTER!! :D
How I wish I could say what I want to. But even if I have the freedom to, sometimes it's just politically incorrect to do so, or people'd not expect you to say it.

I'm really emotional in the past one month's time. If it's hormonal imbalance, I just want to clarify that I don't take steroids and I am not pregnant. Totally not.

Thanks for pulling my leg, it could make me feel like I'm still a part of you guys. But I'm a Little Old Lady who is undergoing mid-life crisis. Things are different and you can't understand if you don't try to. I am not trying to make things up or exaggerate the situation, but I am more sensitive than usual, I can't help it.

I have this strong sense of not being wanted or appreciated or loved or noticed or cared, in the past few weeks. Someone asks me to appreciate the people around me now. Honestly, I've been doing it and I feel tired already, because I have forgotten how it's like to be treated in that way. Don't tell me God will understand how I feel. Of course He does. But, so? Don't tell me God will give me free flow of love supply for me to love others in return. Because I doubt if people would be glad to receive it from me anymore. They probable have found a cooler love supplier. Someone who is not too old for everything.

Psychiatric treatment is not covered in insurance. But maybe I do need one now. Because by putting a price tag on the time then only will someone spend it on me. What I need is just to have you sit next to me and breathe.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009





I have been trying to figure out a way to put this thought into a post, like I always do for most of my posts - I think of a special way to present a simple idea, challenge myself to be more creative. But I just can't. For the first time I feel helpless even to start to write it.

Sometimes I like KL. But KL is always a cold, empty city at night. Tomorrow morning, a soul will leave KL, Malaysia. And this place is going to be one soul less to keep it warm.

I have always thought this day is not going to come, yet. During Jan 2009, Oct was very likely to take forever to come. It's 10 freaking months to enjoy, to relax, to take for granted.

But tonight is the night, to beat good bye to my favourite bar tender, a wonderful colleague whom I had learnt countless valuable life lessons from, a great friend in whom I can always trust, admire, and look up to.

He told me he is grateful of the chance to be my friend (He is from Myanmar, hence he doesn't have much -real- Malaysian friends), and apologised for any mistake he's done. My throat swelled and all the words were stuck there. He made a debater went speechless. I couldn't tell him enough how glad I am to ever get to know him, a humble guy with an ambitious heart. He lives with principles guarding his life value, and he is down to earth.

Min Htay, you'll always be my brother whom I shall remember in my prayers. You have my best wishes for your future undertaking. And if you decided to stay in Myanmar, your home country, I want to believe that Myanmar will treat you better than how Malaysia had treated you, that you'll have loads more friends than you had here. Because happiness is how you value your life, and friendships are what make you happy.

Take care.

It seems like, a series of departures are preparation for me to face a bigger departure in near future ;-(

I Hate Departure

Who is more important? The one who doesn't mind if you're calling to say good bye or not before he flies off, or the one who'd call you the night before he flies off?

Putra LRT, please don't fail me. ;-(

Friday, October 23, 2009

Foreign Locals

A short article in NST on 23/10/2009 titled Malaysia 3rd best for outsourcing.

Malaysia ranks third after India and China for outsourcing and more than 90,000 job opportunities have been created by multinational companies that have invested here. During question time yesterday, Deputy Ministry of International Trade and Industry Datuk Jacob Dungau Sagan told the house that a recent study showed Malaysia was a favourite among foreign companies. This year alone, 23 foreign companies invested RM1.02 billion, which will create 4,265 new job opportunities over five years, he said.

He didn't say the jobs are for Malaysians.

On 18/10/2009, Home Minister Datuk Seri Hishammuddin Tun Hussein reported Sabah to have 610,614 foreigners detected, the legal ones are only 230,000 (source from NST article). If you're living in Kuala Lumpur, you may have more than once being surrounded by foreigners when you're doing your shopping, taking a bus ride, eating out, and so on. Even the tourists may have mistaken them to be Malaysian because there are just too abundant of them around here!

I do admit, Malaysia needs foreign workers. But no matter what, we don't welcome those with dubious behaviour. We don't welcome Indonesian maids who abuse the children she's paid to take care of, or run away her employer's money and jewelries. It's our fault for mistreating the maids, hence no doubt those employers must be punished. But the employers' actions do not justify the maids' misconduct either. Why is the Indonesian government barking at us?

We don't welcome foreign workers who are illegal. If you don't have an identity here, you don't have the responsibility to carry yourself properly. Because it's difficult for us to identify you when you've committed a crime, or two, or more. We don't have the incentive to take care of you if you're not registered. And because you're not taken good care of, you take it out on the Malaysians. Rape cases, robbery, drug trafficking, murders, and the list goes on. Of course, not all (illegal) foreign workers are this bad. But if you have nothing to hide, why not use the proper way to come visit/work here? Tedious procedures? That's right. Those procedures are there for a reason - we don't need an influx of foreign workers to flood our job markets.

One may argue that the jobs taken up by them are jobs the choosy Malaysian to ego to have. But mark my words: the trend is changing fast. We always thought most of the foreign workers work in plantations and construction sites. The next thing you know, they're also working in factories and offices as maintenance staff (cleaning ladies). Not for long, you realise that they are operating the machines in those factories, and running around in coffee shops as a cheap labor for the tauke. Now, a lot of high-end restaurants are hiring them in a large scale as waiter and waitresses. Believe me, those I've come across give very good services, and are even friendlier than Malaysian counterparts. The only problem is their language proficiency, which gives them away every time they speak. So, are these jobs too lowly a job for Malaysians, too?

The biggest problem regarding the trend mentioned above is that it is a vicious cycle. We let foreign labors take up more "higher profile" jobs over the years. As Malaysians see that those jobs which once were theirs have now been labeled as "foreign worker's" job, and are instantly associated with others low profile jobs which are also taken up by the foreign workforce, Malaysian hence have a skewed mindset about working in these same positions. In the end, lesser locals want to fill those vacancies, leaving it a reason for more influx of foreign workers into Malaysian job market. And the cycle goes on.

We don't like the idea how the government is having double standard when it comes to granting citizenship to the long time inhabitants. Some foreign workers have only been here for 2 years and are granted Permanent Residence status, or even citizenship, while there are people who have been applying it through the legal, tedious process for more than 40 years but never hear a news from Home Ministry.

Back to the article mentioned. When we talk about multinational companies, what hit our minds is their profit-orientated nature. There is absolutely nothing wrong to be so. In fact, I even think that we should run our country like how we run our companies: invest in new potential employees and train them for free; send the existing ones for continuous growth from time to time; analyse business opportunity properly and take the best plunge; fulfill corporate social responsibility to increase company image; weed out corruption and have trust amongst colleagues; spend every cent at the most beneficial way with bigger returns in mind; the vision is to expand our influence all around efficiently.

My problem with that nature, however, is the fact that they hence tend to hire cheap foreign labors instead of Malaysians, even if they invested in Malaysia. Don't tell me that the higher position such as the branch manager might be a Malaysian, but look at the ratio of those who are benefited, 50 to 1, maybe? We applaud the advantages brought by foreign investors. New market, more competition for local business , more choices for consumers (I love this benefit dearly), among others. But really, is our government really doing enough in the check and balance for this foreign-investors-benefiting-the-locals move?

Think about it.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Control Version

Some of my friends told me they like my writings here (One of them is Fea! It's really an honor.). I am always happy to have people telling me that. But when I was choosing my career path, the thought of working as a writer only stuck in my head for a while. It'll be good to if I could write for my living, but I doubt I can really be that good, not to mention catching up with the deadlines as well. Shivered, I dropped that dream, and pursued other options. I was then crazy over being a medical underwriter for insurance company, which is what I'm working as now.

Recently there were crazy, controversial bells ring in my head as I read the newspaper or came across some incidents/news/situation, etc. It hits me that, if I were paid to express my thoughts on what I observe around me, I'd be a controversial writer. It kinda scares me. Really.

There was once when I read that there was a commotion or fight during a by-election at a not very well-known place. What actually hit me was not how some Malaysians had become uncivilised and got physical over this small scale by-election. What rang in my head was that: these "supporters" of opposing parties were paid to put up a show to attract the attention from the media and hence the related candidates could have free publicity. Even if either of them lost in the by-election, they’re at least known to more people who happen to read the news and get to know about the by-election and candidates than without such drama. The commotion may also indicate that the by-election must have been crucial hence the tension. This draws curiosity of the people for a bit more and hopefully they spend some time reading the articles. To be honest, I had a feeling that it was God who spoke to me.


When Obama got the Nobel Peace Prize, the bell rang again. This time, I heard that, Obama may or may not have contributed significantly in creating peace in the world, but he absolutely needs that prize right now.


I realise that, the war on terror is not the most detrimental war, but the war with mindsets are. The big powers have been using this tactic all along. To win this war, one has to change the enemy's mindset to be the one they want them to have. Whoever becomes the follower of the "new" mindset is the loser. And we're not only changing the mindset of the leaders, most importantly are the people, poisoning their minds one person at a time. Imposing the idea of who is being more superior and everyone should follow, or even imitate the actions of the superior ones.

Do you know how to keep a Third World country remain one? That's right, the Third-World mindset: It's ok if you're developing at a slow pace, because you're a Third World country; It's ok to borrow money from the IMF or World Bank, because Third World countries are poor and have trouble in sustaining themselves, etc. It's ok to abide to the rules set by the First World, because they’re always the one in front anyway. Do you know how to keep a Follower forever be one? Impose the idea that they have to depend on the Leader for major decision, or major contribution to the field. The First World paints the picture of being superior to the Third World that advancement in technology will never come to the latter unless the former is willing to transfer it here, that only their styles and fashion can bring “revolution”, that their standard is the universal measurement, etc. And when you talk about the image of a country, nothing has more to do with perception than painting the right (or conveniently wrong) picture at the right time.

That the western lifestyle is always more interesting and exciting: fast food served fast, tasty and ready to go. They tell you it's a happy experience to eat at fast food outlet with your family. But they didn't tell you too much of those "happy moments" may get your blood vessels clogged with fats. When the organic food frenzy takes over the fried food, they sell "healthy" salad at a price higher than fatty food, because to stay healthy is “supposedly” a conscious move. Fantastic.

Back then wearing animal furls was a code for the "upper class" in the society, thanks to the fashion Leaders. Now as the animal rights group detested the practise, they're the one who make the loudest noise in support of such clause, and instantly discriminate those who killed those poor little fury friends. And they believe whatever they've done in the past shouldn't be mentioned or apologise for because they've "moved on".

They told you their coffee is planted in some exotic places in Africa, with the best combination of nature and nurture, comes the coffee beans with the best taste. They show you pictures that they are the developer for such places, providing job opportunity and bringing civilisation, but they never mention what they've done to the original plantations there. Have they destroyed the crops that survive better with the soil and weather there for the sake of planting these coffee beans in large, commercial scales? Will these foreign species be bring harm to the nature or minerals of the soil there if such plantation continues? Do they pay the local workers enough or are they just abusing them as cheap labour even if a cup of those "fine" coffee cost more than the usual ones? Are the Africans exchanging their crops for food with crops for more business but no food? Are they making the resourceful Third Worlds being dependent on the "provider" First World, who are leeching off the natural resources from the former when everyone's attention is elsewhere? The main thing is to impose the idea that they're always right and at a higher ground. Even if you don't understand why we shouldn't let an animal go extinct, the Follower will follow whatever the Leader says, because hopefully hence the former will have the resemblance in status to the latter as well. You don't have to know that they're the one who abuses the labors, because they serve you nice coffee. You don't have to know they use child labor because they make nice clothes for your kids. You don't have to know they're the one who make us depend and invested in unhealthy lifestyle before telling us it is bad. Simply because they know we'd all think highly of them and have faith in them as the Leader.


You know the significance of Malaysia Day recently announced? 16th September 1963 was the day Malaysia became the official name for this country AND everyone knows about that. Few years ago voices were getting stronger on having a bigger scale of celebration on this day than how it's celebrated back then - way too unceremoniously if compared to National Day every 31st August. But why only recently that it's announced to be a public holiday?

Link 1Malaysia fever proposed enthusiastically by our PM, and the governmental effort to discuss the most needed approach to racial unity, to having the indigenous groups in East Malaysia to be noticed and keeping the Special Rights and Privileges for the Bumiputras while everyone continue to discuss how to avoid the “us” and “them” separation. Do you see what I see?


Monday, October 19, 2009


Friday, October 16, 2009

What do 3 months mean?

It means:
1. Group Policy files
(a) check and update the claims records for policies file that is expiring in 2 months time. If the claim is suspicious, then we'll have to take out the claim files and check the hospital bill. Abdominal pain is definitely not an acceptable diagnosis to be claimed for coverage. Diabetes mellitus was written in black and white as your pre-existing sickness which you've had before the inception date, what the h*ll did the third party approve your claims for it?

(b) calculate the overall loss ratio of the account for every individual company or group or holding, and decide if we should do something about it. Finally, close file, and start again with another file.

2. Individual policy
(a) check and update claims records, check premiums, check age limits, calculate loss ratio, close file, next.

3. Third Party name list
(a) check the names, dates, do payment, send emails, close case.

4. Premium quotations
(a) check claims records if it's a request for upgrading plans. check number of employees, check nature of occupation and overall total premium contribution and loss ratio from other classes. Edit the dates of issuance and remarks for wording, send it out, follow up later. If taken up or rejected, close case.

5. Read the boring Malaysian politics and not emotional Jodi Picoult.

6. Work OT. Don't go for swimming so that I don't let my mind wanders off in the pool.

7. Don't listen to David Cook's songs. And Kris Allen's, too.

8. Keep talking to random strangers.

9. Don't drink/smell/ look at coffee.

10. Stop crying.

All the above, times three. Time does fly, right?

Monday, October 12, 2009

Letting You Go

Sincere apology to all the readers of this blog, for I am still in need of writing down my emo-ness. I know I should have, but I just couldn't, to stop having doubt and being annoying.

I watch a video clip titled "Daddy, You Can Let Go." I realised that freedom is the most dangerous gift. One may risk loosing the dearest someone who deserves this precious gift. But that's in the case when my concept of love got all wrong.

To love someone, we must give them our faith. There could be many moments that we cannot see with our eyes, or tough with our hands. But if hearts are sincere, we will be brave enough to tell them: I trust you. And loving them is a deafening silent fact.

When a dad lets go of his little girl on the bike from his hands, he isn't 100% sure his angel will do perfectly fine with the sudden surge of freedom. But he believes it's right to let go, so that she can be a stronger lady whom he grows to love even more. When a dad gives his princess away on the wedding day, he wants to believe that she chooses the right man for her life, if becoming a wife for the man she loves is what is best for her.

Now that the girl has the wings to fly high, she moves on, but doesn't move away. She turns her head and smiles at her dad as she paddles on. She comes back to her dad when he lies on the hospital bed with life-support tubes inserted all over him. It's the last time her dad has to hang on to her, because it's time for her dad to let go of her. For she's ready to take on the world, as how her daddy expected her to when he first let go of her on her bike, to kiss the sweet breeze of growing up.

Because love binds souls together, doesn't it?

I love you. I'll try to let you go, but not to give up on you. There will be many moments in future I cannot see with my eyes or touch with my hands. But you will know my heart says: I trust you.

Promise me that I shall see myself in you when you've grown up, will you?

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Unphotoshopped Grins

Me and MerlinDarling! :D

Me and Keu.Lian.King~ :D

YvooOooNNe and me :D

Let Me Runaway

Most people believe that one will only starts to appreciate the good things when they're about to or already have lost them. But if I've started to appreciate the good things or people or moments in my life way before I'm about to loose them, why do I still feel the heartache when I count the days leading to their departure?

Somehow I begin to understand why some people refuse to love for fear of great hurt which follows separation. Don't tell me physical separation is nothing and I'll always stay in your hearts. The fact that none of you can be replaced (though many others have attempted and unfortunately failed miserably to imitate your every action) in my life is a disaster to me, when the day comes.

Jun Hoe's flying to Spain in less than 2 week's time, till end of this year. Medic/2 debaters are leaving to HUKM in _________ time (You know, I just don't even dare to count the days). Even if I started to treasure every day that I have with them, it's still too late already.

May I move on or runaway first before you do? Wait, don't tell me the answer. I know I'll hate it. And I dislike it even more knowing that it's totally not your fault.