priceless = invaluable or has no value?

If you say friendship is a dwi-direction relationship, will you be mad at me if I made a decision that is best for us yet breaks our friendship?

It has been a very difficult (OK, not that difficult, but it's been lingering on my mind and driving me crazy for a while now) time for me. To defend what seems to be changing right in front of my eyes, and within myself. I hate it when my perception towards a person changes from good to bad. But I can't help it. And if I remain in denial, I'll hurt myself even more.

I hate the situation so much that... I want to dissociate myself from it. I didn't know I will have to make such a decision when I first know them, until recently, when something just isn't the same anymore. Am I too rigid a person, who cannot adapt to changes? Am I too selfish a friend, who cannot support my friends who have made an inform decision for themselves, simply because, I don't like the situation once things change?

I thought we were best friend, until I come to realise that I have too little faith in our friendship, that you're going to change because of something which seems to be more important in everyone's life, that I'll become less important to you then. Should I disappoint you, I am sorry. I am sorry I have made a decision that is best for you, at the cost of our friendship, if it doest cost anything at all to you.

What I like About Black Out

When I was a kid, when my grandparents were still around, we usually went over to their house for dinner. And after dinner my parents will watch the news with my grandparents. There were times we had blackouts in the evening, right before we had our dinner. We would light on those old oil lamp, and had our dinner under the dim yellow light. The dinner tasted the same, and the conversation were as warm as ever. What excites me about blackout back then was, because there was no electricity during the news hour, we had all the excuses to ask the adults to bring us to the playground opposite of my grandparents' house. I love the swing.

After my grandparents had passed away, we would have dinner in our own home. And when there were blackouts at night, we would light the candles, put at various location of the house, so that we still can move around the house if we needed to. Most of the time, we would all sit in the living room, and do something which doesn't need electricity - sharing about what has happened in school, work, talk about the cartoon we never tired watching, and everything else.

Don't you realise when we're supplied with electricity, we're always distracted from what is essentially the more important things in our life? Of course, watching news on TV, replying emails or studying are also important. We stay connected to the OUTSIDE world. But what about to the world around you? We have all the means to do more, and go beyond what used to be our limits. Yet, have we actually pay attention to what is right in front of us?

As the light goes off, everything comes to a halt. We look around, to see what is happening. We see darkness. But hey, what remain glowing is the love from the eyes of our close ones. Do they always glow so charmingly like the stars in the sky? My, shame on me that I never notice that. Not when David Cook's songs are played repeatedly in my SonicStage.

That is when we would go back to basics, go back to the time when we would scramble around for candles and lighters, and sit around in the living room, to spend undisturbed time with the ones who mean a lot to us, whose love have always been around yet neglected.

Today is the day, when we do not need to wait for TNB to switch off the power, but we take the initiative to turn off the distraction ourselves, and spend some quality time, enjoying the beauty of darkness with those who truly deserves our attention. It may not be so much of conserving energy or saving the Earth from more global warming (doesn't matter if it could or otherwise), because it's more to remembering the virtue of connection, not using the internet, that is.

Earth Hour, this is for you =)

Bleeding Love

When one sleeps with a broken heart, one may wake up to realise that it's now either healed but left with some scars or fractured even further. In the latter case, one may as well crushed it into powder form and apply it on her face as a mask.

CRUNCH MUNCH

Staying up is what I should need want to do.

Jerry is introducing his girlfriend to us tomorrow.

*grin*

think..

The one who is elected (uncontested, this time) to be the leader of a party which membership is not accessible by everyone will autmatically be the one leading the entire rock concert country. Not everyone has the chance to vote for or against him, yet he is going to be EVERYONE'S leader. 

How can it actually make sense?

I wonder if the automatic promotion is not there, would everyone still be that interested in the party election?

SHUT UP SHUT UP!!

To The Star SMS News Alert team:

YOU SHUT UP! I DON'T NEED YOU TO KEEP ME UPDATED FOR EVERY TWO MINUTES ON THE UMNO YOUTH /WANITA CHIEF WHATEVER POLL BECAUSE I.DON'T.CARE WHO'S GOING TO BE THE KONONNYA "ELECTED" ONE! IN FACT, WHO CARES WHO IS ELECTED? AS THE ELECTED PERSON TAKES THE POST, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS STILL HOW HE/SHE CARRIES OUT HIS/HER DUTY AND NOT SO MUCH ON WHO EXACTLY HE/SHE USED TO BE OR WORSE, LINKED TO. CAN'T YOU JUST KEEP THE SMS ALERT SHORT AND SWEET BY JUST REPORTING THE FINAL OUTCOME AND NOT THE COMMENTATOR VERSION?!

(Edited: Alright, after listening to Pau, we do have to care about who will be elected because those people are going to "automatically" become someone more influencial in our country, even without the constitutional law acknowledging the automatic promotion. But this post is to emphasize on the overwhelming scrutinization of the political world by the media.)

IS IT BECAUSE TO AVOID BEING BANNED LIKE WHAT HARAKAH AND SUARA KEADILAN IS FACING, YOU HAVE TO REPORT NOTHING BUT ONLY NEWS SUPPORTING THE GOVERNMENT OR HUMILIATING THE OPPOSITION? I AM VERY SICK OF YOU, YOU ARE SO NOT A MEDIA BECAUSE YOU HAVE REPORTED TOO MANY "NEWS" WE DO NOT APPRECIATE! OH WAIT, YOU ARE INDEED A MEDIA, BECAUSE MEDIA IS THE BEST THING TO BE EXPLOITED BY THE POLITICIANS.

CAN'T YOU REPORT ON SOMETHING GOOD A POLITICIAN HAS DONE RATHER THAN FOCUSING ON THOSE CONTROVERSIAL NEWS? EVEN IF THE PROPOSAL/PROJECT IS NOT SUCCESSFUL, AT LEAST WE WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THAT SOMEONE HAS PUT IN EFFORT TO FIGHT FOR US IN THAT ASPECT. AND THAT IS WHAT A POLITICIAN SHOULD BE REPORTED ABOUT, YOU SADDIST AND CONTROVERSIAL-AND-GOSSIPS-LOVING EXPLOITED MEDIA!

p/s: Even if at the end I choose to unsubscribed from you, it doesn't mean I am no longer influenced by your irritating reportings. I will still be affected by it because what you have reported is going to shape our society for tomorrow. Please, make yourself useful. We've got brains waiting to be fed real information into.

A Breath for the Sunset

You know, sunset is always beautiful. No words can ever explain how perfect the scene is, and no eyes can ever appreciate enough of how brilliant the colours from the sun mixed together to paint the picture. Breath-taking is really a suitable word to describe it, because as one looks at the view, he may have gasped and forgotten how to breathe, literally. 

And every sunset is different, despite the fact that the Earth has gone through endless evenings, at different location and time.

I felt wasted as I realised I nearly miss the sunset. I only managed to catch a glimpse at the purplish sky, before it turned navy blue. And the street lights couldn't wait to be the one catching my attention, as I was still mesmerised by God's painting.

One may not know if tomorrow will surely come. But if it does, it is going to start in a way which is as awesome as the way it ends.

*hold breath*

1. I'm going to bite my tongue speaking in BM on Thursday morning.

2. I'm going to sprain my fingers typing in BM  untill I'm done with thesis writing.

3. I'm going to crack my head thinking about everything related to my research.

4. I'm going to spend the last penny to bribe my body not to fall sick at this time of the year.

Most of the data I search for is not the answer to my research question, but the journals or information regarding my research, haha how irony. Primary source primary source primary source....

And of course research involves failure and hindrance, that is why it is called "RE-search".

Be strong *clench teeth*

I've Found My Babe

For such a long time I have been looking for that precious, trying hard searching for its shadow. I waited patiently day after day, hoped to find THE one. Yes, specifically THAT one.

I have failed for the first time, but it's ok. I changed my plan, and continued to search for my babe. But it's getting more and more difficult to keep the faith as nothingness was what I got all this while.

As time has run out, I thought I was going to give up. I thought I might not be able to meet the special one anyway.

And there it is, at the least expected moment.

"Saya rasa yang nie betul la, bradizoite untuk Toxoplasma gondii."

"Betul? :D AAAAARGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!12"

I shouted for joy in the lab. The little spherical purple spot, filled with bow-shaped parasites.

Now I got you, babe!

Lord, thanks for helping me to know what exactly I do look forward to work as in the (near) future. It means a lot to me to know and be sure about it. I really want THAT kind of job.

Now I got to work really hard to make sure I am good enough for it. May it be a big enough inspiration for me to really make You proud of me this time. Please Lord. Give me strength and wisdom.

My First Ever Photoshopped Picture

Ok, I didn't do anything to that Scat. I only added the text there.

Happy studying, folks!

A Parent's Investment

Do you remember the time when you were a kid and your dad will carry you on his shoulder? Do you remember the time when you kept looking out at the classroom door, searching for your mum, who stood there for the entire day, watching you going through your first day of school, just to make you feel safer in the new environment?

How is it like, for parents to watch their kids grow, from crying babies to crawling toddlers, to mischievous kids, to unpredictable teenagers, to mature grown-ups? From barbie dolls and remote-control cars to perfume and gadgets.

It involves a lot of patience, heart-breaks, faith, love, tears, fears, protection, and hope.

That a parent would do anything, to make sure his child has the best of everything, or at least, the best that they can afford, even if that means he has to sacrifice so much that he has lost count of them. Well, he never intends to remember his sacrifices since the beginning anyway. That he will wait in the rain with that umbrella in his hand, so that when the school bus arrives to send the kids home from school, his kid will not get wet, not even a little. 

That a parent would invest a lot of faith, believing that everything she does will enable her child to grow up to be a better person, even if that means she has to bear the heart-breaking thought of what if that stroke on that tiny palm she gave her child earlier will make the latter hates her. The fear of their kids unable to adapt well to the outside world, yet having faith that it is the best way for their child to grow, and their kid will make it through.

The anticipation that, after all the sacrifices, the child will be a successful person, standing tall among others, and make the parents proud because of the good value showed. The prayers every night that the child will be wise and humble as they grow up, that they will be strong to face the challenges, to fight the battles gracefuly like how the previous generation did, and overcome the storm victoriously. 

The hope that, the child will never forget the values the parents taught, and will reciprocrate all the patience and love to the latter when they get older.

I'm going to work hard. I have a mission, which is to make my parents proud of me, that I fought the battle gracefully. And I will remember the day my dad stood outside the classroom, watching me going through my first day of school, hoping that one day I will be who I am today.

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Try it yourselves at here.

hang on there... 

hang on... 

hang onnnn...