It's been on my mind for more than a month now, though no doubt I've shared it with some of my close friends about it. That I am sure it must be God's plan all along. It's like the debate about whether or not it was, after all, God's plan that Judas betrayed Jesus, that Jesus knew it all along hence that's why He was very troubled about it that He was in anguish as He prayed [Luke 22:42] "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.". Or, otherwise. It doesn't mean I now think it's a right thing to be done, though. Anyway..
It's really like shower of blessings, over and over again. Like a huge, month-long celebration that as if finally I've made a right choice which is pleasing to God's eyes. Only recently that I feel the ride has slowed down a little. It's like God saying, OK, you've had enough fun now, haven't you? It's time to get back to Work.
It aches me to think about the disaster during the past weekend. But, if it's God's will that I receive what I do not deserve, I guess the celebration mentioned above were more like a farewell for me. It's just that, we're having so much fun with each other around that we didn't notice it's a farewell. It might be a good thing, after all.
And oh, Nar is back to Malaysia from Nepal for another year.
And I'm going to laugh at myself, real hard, and calculate 1 to the power of a fifth for the 700th time. And I bet Jun Hoe will no longer reply with nice words to my messages about how I screw up (and still get what I long for). Thank God I still have Xu Vin :)
But I'd rather it's meant to be a farewell than just a celebration, so that when it's here, nobody will have time to be sad, if anyone would. I'd rather Jun Hoe does the above, and the only reason I am going to wish for that is because I no longer need to send him those messages to begin with. I'd rather the whole world to laugh with me, at myself. I really, really.. wish I could have done better... sigh, let's not think about it now. I need loads of prayer and favor from God.
1 comment:
sometimes u wonder why reality hits so hard right? hmmm.. but we stil got 2 get going. yes! :P
oh no 3 more papers to go n i'm starting to feel so lazy already.. ok. ok. get back to those lec notes!
Post a Comment