A Prayer 3

I thought I was going to let the previous post sticks at there (as the first post every time people view my blog) for a very very long time, or maybe I would not going to be able to move forward from there. At least that was what I think when I was writing it. Now, I've had new things which I'd like to blog about, and I find it is not the way to let myself stop there forever. The world is still a great place even as I move on from him.

The next person I'd like to pray for is Fea. She's my senior debater at UKM, Bangi, whom I always find things became so interesting, if not funny, when they're coming out from her. Serious. Read her blog and you'll end up smilling the whole day =)

Heavenly Father,

I'd like to put Fea into Your mighty hand, Lord. May you bless her abundantly in her everyday life, giving her what is the best for her according to Your will in her.

Father, last night we were having a little warm up training session for Royals at KTHO, UKM Bangi. I was really moved to see that she's the only 4th year senior there for the first half of the session. Not only was she punctual despite her busy schedule (of course, no one has the right to be late and let others to wait for him/her, but she's punctual and same as other juniors), but she's trying her best to give us guidance and lead the discussion on the Black Water Crisis, which we had a debate on prior to the discussion. Everyone was tired because of exam or other personal businesses and the training was held at night. Yet, she tried to keep the discussion going and asked questions to make us think by ourselves rather than always relying on her for information.

Before this, she's always been the senior who has done a lot for our UKM debating team. She's the one (if not Jun Hoe) to deal with the red tape stuff for us before Jerry takes over the team leader post. I've never known exactly how difficult it is to get UKM sponsoring us to tournaments, but I believe it's not what everyone would like to sacrifice their time for.

Fea has shown commitment for the entire time I am in the team. She's always there for trainings, camps and etc. Even the training for Australs way back this July, she's there everyday despite the fact that she was not the one going for Australs! She's there because she understands that with so little people, we couldn't get a complete round and the training wouldn't be fruitful at the first place. It's she, being the Iron Lady (giving two speeches in one round of debate) for the training so that we managed to have the rounds went on.

Fea's also very committed in training the juniors. It's very obvious that suppose it's my batch that do the training now and let them concentrate on their work. But sad to say, not many debaters of my batch stay for the team. To be accurate, there are only 5 of us left. Great. She's there for the juniors whenever they need to have training for the coming tournament, like NHSD, like MIEDC. Again, she's not going for the tournaments, yet attended and conducted the trainings.

Lord, I want to thank You for putting Fea in my life. I've seen the most beautiful thing in this debate team. People just love each other so much that they’re willing to sacrifice for each other, and not expecting anything for return. For all the hardships You put in her life, made her understands how difficult it is to have not enough people for trainings, to have not enough money to go for tournaments. And because of this, she's willing to make our journey not that difficult as hers, by burning herself out.

Like the light Lord, She's shown the way and kept the debating team going. Even myself sometimes will hesitate on my journey. But it's because she's always been a caring senior and I miss the time to have her around, I attended the trainings. And I've learnt to love debate if not because I'd love to meet people like her during trainings. I have to say this – If not because I wished to stay with her during the NHSD training at KTSN rather than just meeting her and go back to room for revision as planned, I wouldn’t have landed myself with a chance to go for Royals. It is how she’s been kind to me all this while that without she knowing it, she made me retrieved my opportunity which I thought I’ve lost.

During the second last training (the Deepavali training), she attended both days of the training. Went back to her room at the wee hour and continued her thesis till early morning the next day, which should be passed up in the coming 2 days. She was very busy, but she still can make it for the training and stayed there, not showing any sign of business, not complaining about the arrangement of the training, and willing to have less sleep because that. Lord, how many more times she kept quite like this? How many more time she's been enduring the tiredness and putting up a smiling face to meet us during training? She even let me have her bed while she slept on the floor the night I bunked in with her as the training ended too late.

Father, Fea is Your wonderful creation. Because not only she's been the Fea You made her, but also because she has made me know that You are a wonderful and creative God. May she find favour in Your eyes and may You show favour and mercy upon her, Lord.

Father I pray for her smooth progression of her thesis work. I pray for more wisdom and guidance to be blessed upon her. May You always send Your angels for her when she needs them. May Jesus’ precious blood protects her and also, bless her with good health, Lord, especially during thesis year. It's going to be a tough year and we know we can't avoid it. Yet, I ask for Your accompany with her throughout this period, and may her not stumble on her journey, yet walk with faith that everything is going to be fine.

Father I also want to pray for her good performance during this coming Royals. I pray for wisdom as she speaks and I pray for good rounds and fair adjudication for which ever rounds they are in. May all those facts she's read flow into her mind and are on her fingertips whenever she needs them. For all the knowledge is from You, Lord, may You show her guidance to analyse the data to benefit her team. She’s been a great blessing in my life, and I want to know that she’ll also be the blessing in her team.

Fea, if you're reading this, please correct my English also yea, haha.. as if she's going to read my blog, or have the time for it. But believe me, if she's been here, I can expect to see some pink stain here and there all over my blog, haha! Told you she's a funny person, I can keep smiling by just thinking about her. Oh, she loves pink, by the way.

In the name of Lord Jesus Christ, Amen.

A Prayer 2

Heavenly Father,

Father I'm such a chicken. I dare not tell Jun Hoe how he's such a blessing to me. May You listen to my prayers here and may You bless him abundantly just like how You've blessed me with such a great gift - to know a wonderful person like him.

I believe You have a purpose in Jun Hoe when you put him in UKM, Bangi, studying Zoology despite Pharmacy in UKM, KL campus, which he supposed to be qualified for.

A top student, and an experienced leader (though his Form 6 life may be quite a "meaningful" 2 years for him) he is. These two criteria in him are what I always look up to. And I see Your purpose in him now, Lord.

Diligent and dedicated. He always tends to put other people's need before his own, lifted burden from other's shoulders and put them on his. And tell us not to worry when he himself was fulled of thesis work and other red-tapes stuff for the debating team.

Speaking words which are helpful and soothing, even when he's critisizing, he speaks of truth and his genuine opinion. Though he thinks sometimes he's very sacarstic which may to other's dislike, but he has always done it in good manner, with civilised words. And he's been funny (to me, he's really a funny person) and makes us laugh our heart out sometimes.

Father, he might not know that he's done Your will in him. But may You have favour in him and may Jesus' precious blood covers him from the attacks of the evil ones. May You watch over him as he goes along with his daily life and continue to be the light that shines for You. May the blessings over flow him to the people around him, to his colleagues, his family members, his friends, or even to a stranger. Also, he's a coffee addict, if You are willing, may You bless him with good health, physically, mentally and spiritually.

Father, I pray for more love and kindness to be blessed upon him, as much as he's showed to the people around him. He thinks he's cool towards people, but sometimes, he's been warm to people at a lot more times which he didn't realise, which I really appreciate. He's been the giver all this while. May Jesus love him and be with him through good days and bad days. May Lord bless him with wisdom and strength for his future undertakings.

I'm also such a chicken I dare not tell him how sad I am when I know that I may not be able to meet him in future anymore. He's not going for Royals and I seriously don't know how long he's going to stay in UKM for he's always has a heart for preserving and conserving both environment and animals. But I know Jesus will always walk with him, thorugh roses and thorns.

What a great blessing you are to me, friend. You don't know how much you mean to me especially when you are the one who's made me fulfill God's will in me. I've seen my direction which I've been asking God for so long. May your life be more worth-while as you receive God's blessings. I've prayed for you and I believe God hears my prayers. You'll receive what I've prayed for you, Jun Hoe.

In the name of Lord Jesus Christ, Amen.

Lu Cakap ape? I tak paham ma

I used to be able to speak fluently in Mandarin (my mother tougue), English and also Bahasa Malaysia. In fact, I took part in English, Mandarin and BM debates during my secondary school.

Maybe it seems like it doesn't mean anything for now I'm in tertiary education level. Yet, during that time, one had to have a -certain- level of proficiency in those languages in order to (1)be selected unanimously by classmates for the inter-class competition and (2)have the guts to go along with the selection result.

I thought it's quite easy to maintain balance between these 3 languages, not to mention I also can speak in 3 other dialects (Canton, Hokkien and Teochiew)without causing confusion in the listeners.

As the first semester of my third year in university coming to an end, I couldn't help but to look at my own changes. One of the changes would be in my language command.

I think my English has improved a little (at least I can feel the improvement in the structure of my sentences and maybe a wider variety of choice of words compare to before).

However, my level of Mandarin command has dropped so dramatically -that I really wish it's only a drama. I used to write and speak in elegant sentences, with beautiful proverbs and sophisticated phrases. Always challenge myself to look for the accurate words best suit the thoughts I wanted to express. But now, I only use simple, English-educated-like-person-who-is-learning-quite-well-for-her-Mandarin level of the language.

The same for my BM. I used formal BM during secondary school debates, but now, only the informal BM comes out from my lips as I converse with my Malay friends. I still can catch up with my Malay friends' speed in speaking in BM and response in fluent BM. But I don't think I can give a formal speech in BM by just impromptu, together with the beauty of the lauguage which should always be upheld.

What's the point of getting an A1 for my SPM BM subject if I've lost my ability to speak or write with impressive BM now? It's out national language and as a Malaysian, we should really learn to speak proper BM.

If not because my lecturers use broken BM, I wouldn't have had problem with them teaching me in so-called BM. Like what we did during my SPM. Hey, BM in all maths and sciences (total 5 subjects) and I got A1 for all. And my English is B3 for 1119 paper. What's my problem when I oppose strongly as my lecturers insisted in using BM? Because I find it distracting to use formal and informal BM at the same time. But that's another issue which I shall not talk more here.

I think the reason being I was too obsessed with my English improvement. It's good to have improvement in English, for it's my favourite language ever since Standard One (I was exposed and started to speak in English since kindergarten), let alone it's the global language blah blah (No, I've read an article saying Mandarin is slowly becoming the international language as China's economy gradually taking shapes and occupying the market now, plus they are the host for Olympic 2008, sure there'll be such a leap on Mandarin-speaking awareness) but proficiency in other languages also has to be maintained by continual practices and constant reading in it.

I should read some Mandarin books sometimes, or flip the Chinese newspaper, or try to read the Mandarin version of Bible, which I've always avoided from.

Maybe I should buy myself some good Malay novels. I still remember I used to love this series of Malay novel so much that I visited my school library which is situated at the top floor of the building, once every 3 or 4 days, right after I finished one, until I finished reading all the books from that publisher. It uses formal BM, that's why it's easier for a non-Malay to understand.

But still, I'll continue to read English newspaper and buy Roald Dahl's books =) Hope I can find the balancing point between these three important language in my life. The ability to speak fluently in more than 2 languages is a blessing.

Debate has never been this FuN!

I just have to type this post though I know I'm running out of time for my revision for tomorrow's Haematology lab practical exam. And someone is waiting for her turn to use this public computer at my multipurpose hall in KTSN.

Yesterday I've had a wonderful time debating with my teammates, whom I shall be sticking with them for the entire tournament of Royals. Anyway, yea, since I've (only)recently started to love debate as it is rather than loving the people in the debating team (and then had crush on one of them), it's very fascinating that I learnt so much in just one day. Training for 5 rounds I think, till wee hours, again. Hopefully this time I wont fall sick again, not like last time after Tanjung Karang training when I fell sick after the humour round in the early morning.

A lot of things I have to let go, for example how great it is to have Jerry in my team last year, and start to accept my current teammates as they are. Anthony, Keat Lim and Sek Kuan will be in my team, whom I shall talk more about them in future post, maybe after Royals.

A lot of things I have to move on from, for example to accept the fact that *ahem* -him- is not going to be there for this Royals. Man, I was wondering how was I going to face him since this is the first time I meet him after I've confessed my feeling to him 2 months ago. But anyway, we sort of like took it in a mature way. When we mean it's over and the issue is closed, we can really still be friend and talk to each other as usual , just like when we were during Australs. No matter how much I'd love his presence, I have to always remind myself to cherish what I've got.

Everyone has crossed my path of life with a purpose. And I want to appreciate every arrangement God has made for me for I'm sure it's going to be the best thing for me ever. If not because of the crush (be it with anyone else in the team), I'm not going to love debate like I do now. It does take me a long time to realise the beauty of debate, but it's lucky that I hold on, that I have some reason to hold on and always go back to the team.

I think that's it for now. Hope I'll bring back good news from Royals this year =)

Happy Deepavali

Wonder how we celebrated Deepavali at KTSN? It's a creative and effective way, sarcasticaly.

DBKL decided to work extra hard during public holiday, AGAIN - they came here and fog us out of our bed. Jumping up from the bed earlier than expected, I made the record of speed showering in less than 5 minutes. All right, maybe you people can bath faster than I do, but I just wanted to say this.

Breakfast at Titiwangsa with Su Yin: Some Jacob crackers and Dutch Lady milk.

A refreshing walk in my new, comfortable Banana Peel flip flop, a good company and light conversation, fresh air and living green park with friendly folks at the park - what a blessing on Deepavali!

But it doesn't mean I don't have to study. Next test is Haematology (study of blood) lab practical test on 12th Nov 2007, 8:00am.

Anyway, Happy Deepavali to all readers :-) and happy muruku-ing.

Smiling Saturday

Don't ask me why I am smiling, or seems to be in a good mood, depite of "heavy" exam papers are coming up.

The first time I went to cafe for breakfast this morning, the papers weren't there. Thought they're sold out. Apparently they decided to be late on this lazy Saturday morning. For the second round, they just arrived. Still haven't been sorted out neatly on the shelves.

Clutching a copy of New Straits Times in my hand, humming away. That explains everything.

I only read The Star on Sunday, because on Sundays their cartoon section comes in colours! Other days, well, as a slow reader, spending RM1.20 instead of RM1.50 for my daily dose of news feed, I think it's sufficient. What's more with my exams tailing behind my back all the time!

It feels good to be informed. :-)

Humming away...