Aftermath

I was pretty angered last night. The raging fire consumed me so entirely that I couldn't do anything else beside going to bed early. And it wasn't a peaceful sleep either, though it managed to heal me a little from the wound.

I am pretty close with my other non-Chinese coursemates, honestly, judging by the fact that most(not all) of the time I always got first-hand information from them whenever they've arranged a replacement/extra class with lecturers, or to register subjects online etc. Hence I bear the (informal) responsibility to forward it (to Pau Ring) down the SMS chain among Chinese students to inform them about the news. I've never missed forwarding messages, be it the source is from a Chinese or Malay friend.

However, few days ago there's this circulated SMS about a tutorial by my Toxicology lecturer, Prof Salmaan. And for these entire 5 days I wasn't aware about it. Some of them up the chain received it and they as usual they assumed I was the one who forwarded it to the chain at the first place hence the one above me, Chui Yoke, didn't forward to me.

If it wasn't because I saw Siew Hui's MSN common message about tutorial which ended late hence she couldn't go for Sushi King Members' Day treat, I wouldn't have found out this plaque.
Everyone knew about it, except me, the loyal SMS forwarder. Everyone just assumed everyone knew about it, hence no verbal reminder was heard.

I'm always very sensitive towards issue about I'm the only isolated one among my coursemates. I've prayed for things to improved, and it worked, at some measures. I've shown more concern towards friends, thick-facedly asked to join them for lunch or offer to go out and do some shopping together, talked about Colby Cailat to Lee Yen, discussed hair-do fashion with Pei Yoong, told Steven to look at the bright side of having much responsibilities because of his growing talents as a leader, follow up with their blogs (such as those at the right hand side) to know what's up outside KTSN (for I'm the only Chinese girl staying in UKM hostel among my coursemates), etc. I no longer sit alone in class, but with friends all around me. We've had inside jokes about Lik Wei and how he's related to Wilson disease, Kee Siang has once in a while asks me questions about class via MSN (maybe because I'm one of the few who insists to set my MSN status as "online" rather than "away" or "busy" when I'm around). Ah Chew has once asked me:" So how's things?" - a simple question coming from a brother-in-Christ was indeed a big pat at the back; Adeline has shown most concern towards me since I told her about how I felt about myself being the weirdest "outliers" among my coursemates few months ago.

But things haven't really changed, actually. The relationship and companion I long for all this while have yet to come true. William said he also didn't receive the message but he asked about it himself. Maybe that's what I should do - depend on myself. For all the advancement in telecommunication technology mankind has achieved thus far, assumption and miscommunication have made a mocking to it, and hence holding human social networking back.

There's no point of pointing finger when things have happened. Afterall, I think I'm back to square one where I'm still the non-sociable weirdo - who loves to read about Zimbabwe and the stubborn Robert Mugabe, the Green Car Race between Toyota and GM, the skyrocketed crude oil price and inflation following the war in Middle East, the Shariah Law in British court, headscarves in Turkish university, boycotting Beijing Olympic, or global warming (yes, please close the door whenever you're in or out of an air-conditioned room), recognising Palestinian refugees, Kosovo and Kurdish independence, North Korea and its nuclear weapon, Asia and its booming economy as a whole, US and Russia conflict in allowing Georgia and Ukraine to join NATO, and other... stuff.

It's just an irony - things happened so far away from my social cycle yet I am aware about them, however for things happened right in front of my eyes I'm too blind to see them. Next time I'll be more aware about what's on around me, especially those which is not published in the paper.