with a bang

There was once a new friend I met only over a weekend told me that I was a person who knew what I wanted and what I didn't, and made choices accordingly. For my friends who've known me better, they'd laugh at the fact a decidophobe like me actually received such comment. But as I pondered upon it, I guessed that new friend was quite correct, too. He said it during our dim sum breakfast in Ipoh. He saw me eagerly waiting for waiter to pass by so that I could order an egg tart, while firmly turning down someone's offer for other dish. And like wise for other dishes, what I wanted to try next, what I didn't bother to touch.

I guess the year of 2009 was a year I was given opportunity to explore myself - what I want in life, what I can tolerate to get something I want in return, what I would love to do for the rest of my life, what are my priorities, what are my heart longings. And with this, I have to say I am glad I did depend on God for direction.

However, the part I did wrong, was that I didn't put God first in everything. Many times we only come to seek God's help when we've run out of resources or ideas, and needed direction on where to go next. It should have been the other way round - ask God for His permission before we are to do anything. You might be surprised that even at the things you were very positive on, God might say otherwise because He had a bigger plan you couldn't see back then.

The first half of the year, I was busy with my thesis - the lab phase and writing phase. Both were draining but fun. I learnt that: I shall not involve in research work anymore, and I strongly prefer English over BM. Back then I thought it was because I attended kindergarten which used English as the medium that has the impact on me. But now I understand that English does have this natural appeal to me - thinking and speaking wise, and I am so comfortable with the language that I must make it a part of my life. My thesis went well, as well as my entire final semester as a Biomedical Science degree student. I closed the chapter with gratefulness to God. And yes, graduation ceremony was on 15th August 2009 :)

Invasion of Aliens and a bear with brain tumor. Bodoh :)

And went to Lang Tengah as well. I love the sky and the sea.

Before I began my second half of the year, the time I placed my virgin steps into working world for full time, I consulted God for my working life and future ahead. I put it in God's hand and prayed that He will send me to live for His purpose in me. I believe things may not be permanent, that I may have to move on to some where when the time comes. But the most important thing is not to loose focus to serve God. At every point in our life, there will be different callings and different needs. Every phases is a way God trying to shape us for a bigger purpose ahead. Instead of being complacent at the current good time, I need to remember to stay alert at the moment God calls.

Right now I am working in a good company, with a good future. The way I define comfort zone in a work place, is not so much of easy job and easy money, but the colleagues and leaders I am privilege to have. I thought racial harmony only exists between friends, not formal acquaintanceship such as in the office. Racial remarks and judgmental accusation were common among my coursemates back in university. Maybe that are how professionals act. We're all here to get things done. If you're committed, then you're one of us. More to that, is the chemistry we share. I couldn't find a place among my coursemates, because I often find that we think differently. But I have cliqued well with my colleagues there. They share the photos of their children, talk about their family, offer to lend me books on insurance, invite me to join their lunch-mate group, drop by to ask about my weekends, forward email about book fair, and many other kindnesses I receive. My General Manager (among us the senior colleagues will refer him as our big brother, while the junior ones like me will refer him as our dad, haha!) actually spent some time to advise me to take extra insurance courses as soon as possible, because I am still fresh from university and am still familiar with study mode, compared to other married, more senior colleagues. The colleagues I have in my department are patient and helpful. I learn that, to work in a team, communication is very, if not the most, important. We keep each other informed about every cases through forwarded emails (for the sake of keeping record) and verbal communication. And that's how efficiency in providing information to other department is maintained even if one of us is not around.

On another note, deep down, I hear a longing to go out and be part of the WHO/UN volunteers for under-privilege countries - medical wise. I actually went to their websites to look for ways to apply, but failed. For now, I'll keep this passion in mind, until I am mature for the jobs - qualification is 3 years of working experience. I am not sure why I am very much attracted to Africa. It all started when Ai Huey told me to do a debate assignment on conflicts in Africa. I searched the net for the information. The interest does not stop there. I found The White Men's Burden by William Easterly and later, Commission for Africa: Our Common Interest - An Argument by Bob Geldof, both books are on nature of Africa and what policies work or don't, on that piece of unique land. Yes, unique is the way to describe what that continent has gone through and the consequences it is facing now, subject to the diverse cultural background of every clans and tribes present. I learn that, country is not a way to address the continent if we were to help them, but by acknowledging the existence of different clans that make up the entire community is. Because separation of a clan and forced integration of different clans were the main conflicts that resulted the many crisis which plaque the land, other than poor governance and outer factors.

To sum up my 2009, I cannot not give credit and acknowledgment to a group of friends I love deeply, for their presence and the fun I received. 2009 being a year of self-exploration, I learnt to understand what I can give up and what I would give up for. Despite the fact that I have graduated, I am still learning from them, and growing with them. I learn that love is perfect. I learn that no one can be replaced or replicated no matter how much others are trying to mimic them. I appreciate the time to hang out with them to feel that I still have a life. I thought I have given a lot to them. But no, they have given me much more in return. They gave me assurance about myself. They give me a space among them. They gave me an avenue to express my thoughts. They let me make fun of them brought me joy and love through good times and bad times. They inspired me to look up and think out of the box. They taught me different ways to look at life and appreciate the randomness and differences. They make me smile.

UM Royals 2009

A separate debate event in UM as well, not sure if it's in 2009.

Ai Huey's pre-wedding party

Christmas with housemates

Went to Istana Budaya for Puteri Gunung Ledang

So that's about it for my 2009. It's been a great year. I hope my 2010 be a great year, too, with more guidance from God, and to make a difference :) Cheers!