One Girl Show

The sound of commuter swooping past the light railway, and there was I, waiting beneath Gombak Putra Station, for RapidKL T213 to depart from the station.

Yet another experience of traveling to a university for debate tournament with route I'm not familiar with, alone. This time, I'm attending IIU League Leg3.

It was a different experience all together, for I not only traveled there alone, but participated under the name of UKM - alone, too.

"Are you debating, Cher Linn?"

"No, I'm adjudicating. =) "

"I see. Then where is the rest of your team?"

"Well, they cannot make it for this time because they have exams coming up."

"Oh, you are the only one coming from UKM?"

"Yea..."

It sounds pathethic. At some point it was. Participating in a debate tournament never crosses my mind as a one man show, or in my case, a one girl show. We always attend tournaments as a team, a big team. And we tend to stick to each other a lot and make noice. Our team is a happening, happy family team. This time, I'm doing all the talking and socialising alone, for my non-present team.

Everythig turned out well. I managed to get to know a number of new friends and engaged in more and deeper conversation with old friends, besides having a number of good laughs and lame jokes down the throat, which I doubt I have the chance to do it otherwise.

Spent a night at IIU, with Guljan from MMU Cyberjaya as roommate and enjoyed some good food from their cafeteria. IIU is a beautiful university. Wonderful architectures and breath-taking designs around campus, not to mention the strong, warm and friendly Islamic atmosphere there.

Chaired for two rounds of debate and paneled for three rounds. That's all. Fay from UiTM was kind enough to send me to Wangsa Maju Putra Station after the tournament on Sunday. That's very nice of her, despite the fact that UiTM and UKM were usually rivals in tournaments, haha =) Myabe that's already in history. Fay is still always my favourite Prime Minister, too bad she doesn't get dominated for election this time .

Random Post

I need a chauffer more than I need a boyfriend.

Boyfriend's profile:
Sex: Male
Gender: Male
Requirement: Enjoy being himself when he's with me.

Chauffer's profile:
Sex: Whichever
Gender: Whichever
Requirement: Drive well, provided he follows my schedule of debating trainings and tournament.
*I'm going to Bangi for training this Thursday and Friday, IIU during the weekends, KLIUC the next weekends.

Apparently it's easier to fulfill the latter, right? Anyone?

Begger

I couldn't believe it. I'm outraged by the fact that me, as a senior in my debating team, have to beg or plead my first year juniors to go for training. I couldn't believe it when I say sorry to Fea that my KTSN juniors cannot make it to the training today, which they promised to attend at the first place. It's not my fault they cannot go. It's not my responsibility to make sure they attend training like attend classes or lectures. It's up to their personal initiative and commitment to go for training to sharpen their skills for future tournament or just for the fun of debat and meeting those bunch of people.

When I was first year, I did not travel to UKM Bangi by myself for once, but dozens of times. Even travel by public transport alone to tournament in UITM which by that time I have never been there myself. I couldn't think of any other reason to miss training. I do have other commitment, but I let the other parties down because I felt more for debate. And I never regreted the decision.

When I was second year, I packed my stuff and prepared to stay over night there when they have training till late night. Again, I forked out my own money and travel there alone, came back alone. And I'm still looking forward to such trips. There was once I've paid RM50 for a church camp. But because of debate, I gave up that camp and went to debate training. I've lost RM50 just like that.

When I am a thrid year now, homework and studies are getting a toll on me and a lot of tournament have to be missed because I have co-curriculum on Saturday. The first years juniors, suppose to be the ones with most free time, couldn't/didn't want to attend training in Bangi with excuses I couldn't accept.

Of course, it's up to you to make decision. But I'm trully disappointed with them when they say the training is too far to go to Bangi (main campus); if it's in KTSN (our hostel) then "maybe" they will come. They are too pampered and selfish to be a debater, which works in team.

One once asked me:" Can I not go for training but go for tournament?"

*sigh..*

And that is how disappointed I am.

Price tag

Do you know how much you're cost?

You cost as much as the LIFE of God's only Son.

How much is that, exactly?

Priceless.

Not the cost of a Swatch limited edition Valentine's watch, nor the cost of space exploration spent by Malaysian government not long ago. Someone thinks you are His world. He dies for you because He loves you that much. He exchanged His life for your eternal life in heaven. He drained his blood to cleanse your sin, even if you don't confess you have any.

There's no accident in God's plan. Everything happens for a reason and happens on time, at the right time, right place, to the right people.

There is no accident in God's creation. You are His 100% perfect product. Those limitations and weaknesses we experience are there to make our life worth living. And for everything you do according to His will, shall be His proudest moment to watch you grow.

How much should one pay to take your life? He has to ask God himself.

Is there anyone have the right to take away your life?

No, not even yourself, for you can't name the price, too. But only God can do so, for He created you and pay for what it takes to make sure you are living with Him in heaven after life.

Is there anyone have the right to look down on you?

No, for you are not living for that bunch of people. You are living for God, and God will never belittle you, for He has great plan for us. Follow God, and you have every reason to smile =)

Can we reach God without Jesus?

No. Only in Jesus name we are saved. I challenge you to ask Him to show you, for this is the way I believe He is the living God.

Is God real at the first place?

Yes. He doesn't need scientific proof to show that He is here. Because He is more than just science. He is more than what human brain can comprehend and appreciate. Again, I challenge you to ask Him to show you. You can't deny it when you see things happen right in front of you.

Unbelievable? Believe Him =) Rejoice, folks!

Chinese New Year Greetings

I don’t have much to write here except sighing that my Chinese New Year holiday is a relatively short but relaxed one. In less than two days time I’ll be back to Kuala Lumpur to study, and hence the end of my days on my warm bed and mouth-watering home-cooked dishes at home, as well as my favourite TV shows like Friends, CSI: New York, CSI: Miami, Simpson, Heroes, Desperate Housewives, Yes Dear, According to Jim, My Wife and Kids, and other Chinese New Year special programs…until I’m back again.

Waiting for me ahead are loads and loads of homework, assignment, presentation, project, reports, the struggles between hymn class and debate training/tournaments during weekends, revision and last but not least, exam!

I haven’t been doing much studying since I am back. Basically the time spent in front of my laptop and TV is inversely proportionate with the time spent on lecturer notes I brought back. I still one report to type and well…should give it a start by tomorrow – after I’ve decided whether to straighten my hair again or not. Of course, it’s quite costly for this, but I seriously don’t like it when my hair is so out of shape due to the curly nature I’ve inherited from my dad.

Tell me outer look is not important and other people’s opinion about OUR outer look doesn’t matter. I’ll tell you what I like about myself and how I want myself to look the way I wish to, is the point girls throw money in a saloon and some even opt for plastic surgery disregard of the safety and cost. Seriously, not so much of what-people-say-it’s-how-a-beautiful-girl-should-look-like factors that influences me to straighten my hair, but the feeling of being a beauty queen OF myself. The smooth and soft touch of silky hair when I cares my hair and the confidence to double check myself on any shiny surfaces whenever I passed by one are the reasons.

However, I told myself I’d think twice before going through the straightening process again. The agony of sitting on the saloon chair for so long (6 hours, mind you!) and the nerve-wrecking pain when my hair dresser pulled my hair layer by layer with the electrical straightener are something I doubt I like to bear in exchange for the kind of hair you see in shampoo advertisement. And yes, it will cost my around RM300.

Arggh! No wonder a monk has to shave his hair. Less misery, huh? It’s a form of informed choice I made, anyway.

Happy Chinese New Year, everyone!

A Friendly Hello

Wow, I couldn't believe what I was reading as my eyes screened through the lines. Here's a Friendster message from Karen:

Hi Cherlinn, I browsed the site randomly and your blogs caught my attention. I even read some of you archieves in the blogger. I it very much. Some of it is very touching, inspiring and motivating. If there is a lot more people like you out there in Malaysia, wouldn't our place be a more beautiful country? I am so so so surprise to see such a young person with such a big heart!! I would like you to be my friend Cherlinn. I'll begin with introducing myself. As you can see from my profile, my name is Karen. I am a very proud mum of 2. A full time homemaker. My profile will fill you in the rest. Have a Very nice Day!

That's... such an honour that I doubt I really live up to it. It feels so good to know that someone is reading my blog (*ahem* check out the date of the last comment I received). And not that, they like what they've read - my creation, my thoughts, ME!

Alright, shouldn't get over excited about it. Just excited will do =) I'll post up my writings once in a while, but can't be that often anymore. Studies have been heavy and I think that's how it suppose to be. Of course, there are always so many things to share here, I'll try.

Thanks for those readers who keep coming back. You know what the "Drop A Bomb" chatbox is for - to drop me a message if you don't feel like commenting on my posts. Don't be stingy on words of encouragement, it lifts up my spirit and keeps me going!

Sun Rise

Sometimes I’m amazed at the situation we learn things. Out of the blue, we’ll just have this thought pops into our mind and there you go, a lesson of the day.

This morning while I was traveling to HUKM on my campus bus, I’ve been reminded on something I’ve learnt before. And it feels good to be reminded again.

The trip to HUKM from my hostel, KTSN was only a 20 minutes drive in the traffic-jam-free morning. Before this I always thought it’s an hour’s ride! Well, anyway, since the seats were taken, some of us have to stand for the entire journey.

It was quite an early bus for us and a lot of us were forced to wake up earlier than usual. Hence it’s not surprising to see those lucky ones with the seats were fast asleep or at least closed their eyes in hope to get extra rest as the bus made its way to HUKM.

Half way down the road, we manage to catch the sun rise – something that’s as breath-taking as … no, it’s beyond my ability to describe it in words. The golden rays of the sun project unto the clear, borderless sky and reflected on the clouds, the cars, the birds flew by, and into my eyes. I was quite deprived of quality sleep the night before and I hadn’t got the chance to take a gulp of coffee before I set foot out of my room. Yet, I was fully awake by the sight and intrigued by God’s creation. The combination of colours is just perfectly astonishing!

I don’t always have the chance to catch the sun rise, moreover in KL where high-rise buildings are everywhere, the marvelous start-of-the-day art is not always available for us. I stared at the view, then on my friends who were resting their eyes, and back to the sky again.

What a waste.

Even if you’ve had the chance to watch every sun rise of the year, you will still be amazed by it everyday. No sun rise is ever the same with the other days’. The birds won’t fly by at exactly 7am every morning from same direction so to say. The degree of sun rays and hence the reflection on the sky is different as the pattern of cloud at that very moment makes the combination exclusively for that day, that moment only. And if we were to miss it, we’ve missed another good piece of priceless art.

It is the start of a new day. I started my day with a simple yet beautiful scene, a good mood, a fresh reminder that new hope has in stored for us. How about you?

Kenya Crisis

These days I have been reading about Kenya. I'm truly sorry to hear what had happened over there. It all started from the election last Dec. It's not as if who was elected as the president will mean much to me, but it's what happened after the result was announced and the civilian's reaction towards it that caught the headlines of newspapers all over the world.

President Mwai Kibaki from the tribe Kikuyu was announced the leader over Raila Odinga from Luo. As Odinga's supporters believe that the result was fraud, they protested. What caught my attention on the news that day was a Lutheran Church in Nairobi was burnt down, together with 22 lives in it - burnt alive. I was disturbed by the idea of burning church as it is the body of Christ, what's more, were the lives sacrificed on behalf of one's anger and dissatisfaction towards unjustice.

Following that, were more and more riots and commotion in Kenya. Hundreds were killed and thousands were displaced. Kofi Annan has to step in, as well as John Kufuor, the African Union Chair from Ghana. They try to bring together the two leaders and suggested power sharing between the two of them as a solution towards the not-very-credible election outcome.

While talks are underway, the some civilians in Kenya continue to pray for their nation. They went back to the Lutheran church and pray for peace to be restored in the land. It moves me to see when there are groups of people out there threatening their safety, they weren't at the same time find ways to retaliate back, but turn to God and seek God's advice. Families were killed, yet they ask no revenge. They want protection and peace, not guns and bombs. But are their leaders doing enough?

To a lot of people, this incident may just be another incident in a country far, far away from their comfort zone. The numbers of death tolls appear in newspaper everyday are just another number. 153, 560 or 897 don't make any difference. A lot of people are numb towards the sufferings of other people, especially a relatively poor country like Kenya. To some, it's because they think they can't do anything to make a change, hence they don't bother about it.
But it's the idea of being a human, we feel for one another. We feel sorry for what they have been through. We feel worried for what is going to happened to them next. What happen if President Mwai Kibaki doesn't want to have the re-election? He is electing new parlimentary ministries now. What will the civilians face if the talks failed? Will Kenya turn into a rough nation? For how long will the civilians have to struggle in the turmoil, which worsen the poverty there? How are they getting along with the fact that their families member were killed? How many children has become orphans? How many have to flee from their home?

I believe I hear the cry for a Saviour's mercy. Do you?

I just want to spread the awareness to concern about what's happening around the world. And be a human who has a heart of flesh to feel.

List

Books I read since last month:
1. Shopaholic and Baby - Sophie Kinsella
2. Undomestic Godness - Sophie Kinsella
3. Uptown Girl - Goldman Smith (if not mistaken)
4. Cat O' Nine Tales - Jeffrey Archer

Books on Shelve to be read: (sequence not according to favourness)
1. Holy Land, Unholy War - Anton La Guardia
2. No Wonder They Call Him The Saviour - Max Lucado
3. The World is Flat - Thomas L. Friedman
4. The Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
5. Kane and Abel - Jeffrey Archer (Thompson's book)
6. A Tales of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
7. The Weather Makers: Our Changing Climate and What It Means for Life On Earth - Tim Flannery
8. Why Don't Penguins' Feet Freeze? and 114 other questions - New Scientist

Books on mind to be hunted down:
1. The Silent Spring - Rachel Carson
2. Espedair Street - Iain Banks

CD on mind to be bought:
1. Instant Karma: The Amnesty International Campaign to Save Darfur - various artists, compilation of John Lennon

Different

Everyone's different from each other. Everyone is special. That's why we ended up no one is more special than the other. Hence, everyone is equal. This should be theoritically correct.

How ever, we tend to notice that some people are more lovable than the other. Some people are more acceptable in one's social cycle than another. Some people can fit into a particular clique, others, another clique. Everyone has his clique which he mingles comfortably in.

Few, unfortunately, don't. They never find a clique which they feel belong to. They are always jumping from clique to clique, trying to befriend to anyone, but never feel attached to anyone at the end of the day.

Are they affraid of committment? Maybe. But I believe some are simly too different from the society they're in. Nobody seems to understand their thoughts and behaviours. Nobody seems to care. They are just a bunch of wierd people, acting out of the norm. It's best to dissociate from them. Or so they think.

Maybe they have personality problem. Maybe they're not funny, they cannot make one laugh and take away their sorrows. Maybe they are to ego to mix sincerely with others. Maybe they've been living in their own worlds for all this while.

Maybe they have communication problem - they never understand what the other is saying and others also don't manage to catch what's he saying. Their concerns are always dismissed or hold no credibility. Maybe they've been to frank with their own opinion. Whenever his idea is too complicated to be understood, others give up to understand it as it is always perceived as not important.

They are always having lunch with themselves. You can see them reading newspaper quietly in one corner, not discussing the issue with others. They may carry a book, so that whenever they are alone (most of the time), they indulge themselves in the content of the book. They shop alone. They stand aside, watch the rest talking to each other but forming ideas inside their head following the conversation. The ideas are not to be shared with others. Because they don't think in the same direction with the group, at the very beginning. They listen to what the rest are talking. And listen. And debate in their own mind. And listen. And debate in their own mind.

It's not fun to be too different. One may even finds problem to let others understand this post. It's too different.

Top Changes

2007 has been a dramatic year. At least in the political scene, quite a number of major political figures have been changed or elected officially. Here are some that I know:

16th May 2007 - Nicolas Sarkozy succeeded Jacques Chirac as the 23rd President of French Republic and assumed office on the said date.

20th May 2007 - Jose Ramos Horta succeeded Xanana Gusmao (current Prime Minister) as the 2nd President of East Timor.

15th June 2007 - Salam Fayyad was appointed the 6th Prime Minister of the Palestinian National Authority, succeeding Ismail Haniyeh of Hamas.

27th June 2007 - James Gordon Brown succeeded Tony Blair (Anthony Charles Lynton Blair) as the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom as well as Leader of the Labour Party (on 24th June 2007).

15th July 2007 - Shimon Peres succeeded Moshe Katsav as the 9th President of the State of Israel.

8th August 2007 - Xanana Gusmao succeeded Estanislau da Silva as the 4th Prime Minister of East Timor.

14th September 2007 - Viktor Zubkov succeeded Mikhail Fradkov as the Prime Minister of Russia.

26th September 2007 - The 90th Prime Minister of Japan, Shinzo Abe resigned abruptly on 12th September 2007 after less than one year in office. He was then replaced by Yasuo Fukuda.

16th November 2007 - Muhammad Mian Soomro succeeded Shaukat Aziz as the Prime Minister of Pakistan.

25th November 2007 - Nader al-Dahabi succeeded Marouf al-Bakhit as the Prime Minister of Jordan.

3rd December 2007 - Kevin Rudd succeeded John Howard as the 26th Prime Minister of Australia in the 2007 Federal Election on 24th Nov 2007.

10th December 2007 - Cristina Fernández de Kirchner succeeded her former-president husband Néstor Carlos Kirchner Ostoić in the October 2007 General Election in Argentina.

20 December 2007 - Lee Myung-Bak was elected as the President of South Korea, succeeding Roh Moo-Hyun and will assume office on 25th Feb 2008.

In the mean time, Pakistan will hold their election in January 2008 and we can expect Vladmir Putin’s second term as President of Russian Federation will expire in May 2008. Also, US Presidential Election of 2008 will be held on 4 Nov 2008.

Christmas Gift

Dear Santa:

This year’s Christmas will be my second meaningful Christmas. Though I didn’t quite celebrate it last year, but I think being at home will be the best gift for every Christmas, including and especially this year’s.

There was this Pre-Worlds Debate Tournament held in Nanyang Technology University in Singapore. We’d received their invitation around October and (myself specifically)decided to attend it since then, despite my no-experience-in-leading-a-debate-team-to-neighbour-country-ness, and directionless-ness, with my passport status still questionable.

The tournament was happening on 22nd – 23rd Dec 2007, the weekends before Christmas. Though we can’t expect a white Christmas in Singapore, but I believe it’ll be quite an experience for us in the debating team. Another international debating tournament and we can spend our time visiting Singapore during Christmas.

Some personal reasons why I wanted to go there so badly is not only because it’ll be a great chance for me to learn different debating styles and watch some higher level debates, but it’s also some diplomatic reasons.

I’ve met some debaters from NTU during my Australs this July. They are friendly and good debaters, too. At least we remember each other’s name and we still keep in touch on Facebook after Australs. I get to know this tournament through Neha. Hence, this was my diplomatic and friendship part of the reason to go there.

Since we are not going for Worlds in Assumption University in Thailand due to some bureaucracy mistakes , I hope at least I can go for this Pre-Worlds during my holiday, to keep myself from rusted. Without further doubt, I posted the invitation letter on our yahoogroup and waited for people to join me in this.

At first, I told NTU committee that we’ll be sending 2 teams and 1 adjuds there. Later, as more and more people wanted to go, I inform NTU again that we’ll be sending 4 teams and 3 adjuds. It was double the amount. I felt like giving them a high hope that we’re so supportive of their tournament. And the number kept increasing – even after the registration date and we have to pay extra for the late-registered names. All these became like a false hope to them when finally UKM decided not to give us money for it.

To cut the story short, my parents were quite unhappy when I insisted to go alone. I felt the responsibility to go because UKM team which were suppose to be consisted of 5 teams and 4 adjuds had shrinked to …none? I thought at least we have to send a representative. However, I decided to pull out last minute when I decided it won’t do me any good to go there and face the odds alone, as my return ticket was not yet guaranteed and I might end up no place to stay because it’s near Christmas. I gave up and I thought I heard a voice inside me said I’ve made the right decision.

I spent the rest of my holiday at home, reading Sophie Kinsella (Undomestic Godness), my all time favourite author for feminine fiction now, playing online Scrambles at Facebook (Gosh, I totally hooked on it!) and watching TV to a lesser extent.

I have no mood to update my blog because I wasn’t quite in the mood to talk about my disappointment regarding this NTU issue. Now I understand how the Worlds issue mentioned above has hit Jun Hoe badly and (correct me if I’m wrong) demotivated him. The bad news of no funding from UKM has hit my severely and I felt all my anticipation and preparation were wasted. It thoroughly threw me down from the mountain of hope and crushed my spirit for debate. At that instant I really lost hope in UKM and future debate tournaments. I doubt if they will continue to support us for coming tournaments. I doubt if we will continue to fight for UKM reputation as hard as we did in previous tournaments. I doubt if the debating team has the same high spirit for debate as we used to.

Come to think of it now, again, I can see things happened for a reason. If not because of unsupportive-ness from UKM (yet, I’m still sooo not going to thank them for this), I wouldn’t spend my Christmas at home. I wouldn’t have time to laze at home and finished my Sophie Kinsella my sister bought me and my friend, Sheue Fen brought me from UK. I don’t have debate trainings up till mid night and it was an enjoyable read – my real holiday. And the most important part is: I’m at home with my family =)

With this, I pray that my gift this year is to see everyone have a Blessed, Merry Christmas. I thank God for all the decisions He guided me to make and I’ll always trust God to lead me to the correct path. Whenever you have doubt or indecisive, ask God! Tell Him your problem and listen to Him, He’ll show you to way to life. This time, I’ve never felt so peaceful in my heart after the decision - to decide between debate or not debate. It’s my first time to give up debate. And I’ve made a right choice by listening to God.