One After Another

I've bought it since 2009. Some time around second half of the year. I've taken it up and put it down for so many times that I barely remember if I've ever cried over it, even for once. I remembered clearly there were times my reading came to a point when I read just for the sake of finishing it. But Jodi Picoult is still so good that she made the phase less painful. It's just that, she is not that good in her Handle With Care.

I've been tempted to take a break from Jodi Picoult recently. Randomly bought and read John Steinbeck's Mice and Man. Boy, it's a very refreshing change. Impressive words and writing style. But nonetheless an awfully traumatising ending. I finished it around 2:30am one night, and I wondered if I would have night mare should I fall asleep. Yup, John Steinbeck. Nothing less than mind-blowing.

This weekend I'm going to borrow Dear John from Siaw Lin. Adele said it's good, and it's one of her favourite books by Nicholas Spark.

Really, sometimes, taking a break from something you love deeply can give you a refreshing new perspective as you take it up once again. But how to tell if you only need a temporary break, or a permanent leave?

Things have been changing in unexpected directions these days. Finally there are times when my decidophobia is not the reason of me keep changing my decisions. See, I did make those decisions. It's just that, things suddenly change, and hence I have to reconsider my decisions/ plans.

Superheroes

Adik Firdaus: Akak suke Spiderman ke Batman?

Me (indulged in brick-building gameboy at the same time): Er.. Spiderman

*Because I think it looks cool to swing from building to building with spider web. But both superheroes aren't that much different to me anyway.

Adik Firdaus: I suke Batman.

Me (still glued to the brick game): Ye ke? Kenape?

*What can be so great about Batman anyway?

Adik Firdaus: Kerana Batman ada motor best!

I was stunned, inserted the brick at a wrong position, and bursted out laughing.

Adik Firdaus continued: Kerete dia pun best. Dalam kerete boleh simpan motor dia. Dua-dua pun best!

And that's how I lost the brick-building game.

Good Morning, Babe!

Saturday morning. Drizzled. I woke up and noticed a little boy watching cartoon in the living hall. A younger brother of one of my housemate. I thought this is what Saturday should be like: cereal with milk, in front of favourite cartoons. I thought this is how childhood should be like. And I wonder if I've never stopped watching cartoon on Saturday morning, maybe there will be no such thing as "childhood" cartoon.

And I switched on my laptop, get to my Facebook page. He walked into my little room, saw my brick game gameboy, took it and played with it. I asked for his age, he replied:

"Darjah Satu."

So I guess he is age 7.

Then he looked up at my screen, and said:

"Facebook!"

And I guess that was the moment I actually woke up :)

Adik Firdaus with my goggle :)

On another note, Ervina is back to Washington since Thursday morning. And June is leaving KTSN today, going back BM. There are always people who, when they leave, they bring along your heart with them..

Robinhood

Part of the conversation between Alison and I about the movie Robin Hood. It's fun to just read the words from her :)

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

hey sorry dear

Cher Linn says:

it's ok

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

juz came back from shower

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

n tell u wat,the whole movie flow was a flatline

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

a very flat story..

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

u seriously wanna know??

Cher Linn says:

yeah

Cher Linn says:

because my friend is suggesting to watch it tmr

Cher Linn says:

haaha

Cher Linn says:

so, am trying to think if money spent is worthwhile

Cher Linn says:

so quickly tell me everything, including spoiler, everything

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

haha..

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

it's really really boring to watch la!!

Cher Linn says:

wow..

Cher Linn says:

what u mean flatline?

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

as in my emotion throughout the movie was a flatline too...

Cher Linn says:

hm..

Cher Linn says:

u felt bored?

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

ok here it goes

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

thr's a soldier named robin longstride in the army of king richard of england during his attack of france

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

thn tis king died in the war

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

so the king's followers have to carry the crown back to the country to relay the news n was killed on the way

Cher Linn says:

oh..

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

by tis english man who's a traitor,conspires with the king of france

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

one of the men killed was robert loxter

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

n since the king's dead,robin n a few of his frens escaped from the army n they meet this killing on their way

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

so robert passed his treasured sword to robin n asked him to send it back to nottingham to his father as his dead wish

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

dying wish i mean

Cher Linn says:

ok

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

ok means enough??

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

haha

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

so they carried back the crown to present to the royals

Cher Linn says:

who is the robert? just a normal soldier?

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

n the brother of richard is made king who is a spoilt brat

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

not quite normal

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

he's from a family with high social status

Cher Linn says:

ok

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

so he gets to be the king's follower

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

n the spoilt brat's name is john

Cher Linn says:

haha

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

he's fren with the traitor but he dinno his conspiracy

Cher Linn says:

oh

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

since he's made king he collects very unreasonably high taxes from the ppl

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

so ppl hate him

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

on the other hand,robin reaches nottingham n finds the lextor family n returns the sword

Cher Linn says:

then?

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

the old man asked him to stay n pretend as his son with his wife called marion

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

of course at the end these 2 ppl fall in love as usual la

Cher Linn says:

wait, who are the "these 2 ppl"?

Cher Linn says:

robin and the wife??

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

robin and robert's wife

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

yes

Cher Linn says:

huh...............*speechless*

Cher Linn says:

hahah

Cher Linn says:

ok, then?

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

thn when the time comes to the arrival of the french army on the shore of england

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

that king john asks the village ppl to help him fight off the french

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

of course the ppl refuse to since they hate him

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

n before tis,in the name of king john,tat traitor fren has busted into villages n performed carnage as ppl aren't able to pay their taxes

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

the ppl has lost faith in the king

Cher Linn says:

oh no..

Cher Linn says:

then?

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

thn this robin comes out from the crowd of villagers n says tat the king has to give his words to the ppl tat they can live in freedom thn only the ppl will put their faith back in the king

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

n help him to fight n protect their country

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

so the king gives his word as momentarily repentence

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

(coz he ate his words in the end)

Cher Linn says:

aww..

Cher Linn says:

ahaha

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

so the ppl fight in unison n was strong

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

the traitor gets killed by robin in the end n the king of france n his army flee back to france

Cher Linn says:

oh

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

king john also fights in the battle too n he thks he's so awesome

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

when the ppl shout the french army has surrendered,the king asks to whom(he happily thks it's to him)

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

thn the ppl say to him(pointing to robin)

Cher Linn says:

hahahahahaa!

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

i thk the king gets really jealous

Cher Linn says:

oh no..

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

so in the end ppl still have to pay high taxes n he makes robin as the outlaw i forgot in wat name of guilt he put him

Cher Linn says:

huh..

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

so they go to live in the bushes n while being wanted

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

there comes robinhood...

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

the end...

Cher Linn says:

huh...

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

gosh...

Cher Linn says:

yeah, gosh

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

it's so boring!!!!

Cher Linn says:

also heard got many gore scenes?

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

wat's gore scene?

Cher Linn says:

disgusting blood dripping flesh opening scenes

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

duh

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

i din feel it..

Cher Linn says:

hahaha

Cher Linn says:

seriously

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

totally din

Cher Linn says:

hhahaha

Cher Linn says:

ok, will tell me friend about it

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

n the cinema was freezing cold

Cher Linn says:

thanks for walking me through the whole movie!

Cher Linn says:

i have to say it's interesting to have you explain it to me like this, through your own words

^^aLiSoN wM lEe^^ says:

added in as a factor tat drove me wanting the movie to end even more badly

Cher Linn says:

maybe u can write a better script for it

Cher Linn says:

haha

*** end***

Tried any new thing today?

I'm trying a lot of new things this weekend. Well, starting my weekend since Friday is the ONLY thing that is not new to me :)

1. Bought 3 albums in one go: no regrets, love the musics!

a) Colbie Caillat - Breakthrough: I still love her style of musics. Soothing yet refreshing.

b) Sabrina - I Love Acoustic Too: As the title of the CD suggested, it's a compilation of songs sang in acoustic twist. I love her voice with the companion of acoustic guitar. Are you interested to know how does she sing Bleeding Love, Poker Face, Take A Bow, Because of You and etc in acoustic manner? I guess it's my personal preference to acoustic songs that draws me to it. The same way Alarice's Midnight Train and Colbie Caillat's both albums do.

c) Lady Gaga - The Fame Monster: Yup, you read it right. It's the main reason I visited that music shop at the first place. While on the way out, I picked up the above two albums. I love the way her songs bring out the tempo in you, make you want to tap your fingers or jump to your feet and dance along :)

2. Watched 3 movies in one go:

a) Changing Sides: It's a French film showed in conjunction with French Art and Film Festival in GSC International Screen. It's an interesting experience for me because it's the first time for me to be totally dependent on subtitles, while surrounded with words I cannot make sense of. It's a comedy film, and I enjoyed their sense of humor. The way they shoot the film. The acting. The way a language I had never heard of filled my ears and made me smile. I wanted to pretend that I was at another world already. Have you ever been in the same lift with a group of Indians and they're speaking in Tamil cheerfully among themselves? Some said it's rude to speak in a foreign language in front of people who don't understand it. But I like it. It does make me feel out of place. But in another word, it makes me feel invisible. As if I can just stand there, observe them speaking in different tongue and be amazed. The way a language is a way of expression itself. Differences excite me. Being a multilingual person myself, there are times I find certain things can only be expressed best in certain language, not the other.

b) The Bounty Hunter: I watched it because of Jennifer Aniston OK! It's not bad, would give 7/10 marks.

c) Furry Vengency: Total lousy film. It's suppose to be a comedy with cute furry animals on the theme of going green for environment, with some side lessons such as family and doing what is right etc. But no, I did not laugh at all. Seeing someone going through all the disasters and suffering the pains are nothing funny to me. Or maybe it's just this film. I actually enjoyed all Home Alone movies, you see. And being furry doesn't mean you're cute. Typical ending. 2/10.

3. Watch Thomas Cup Semi Final with friends:

a) and some uncles. I dislike watching the games with old people who've known the Malaysian badminton history so well that he could recall all the scores of the coach who trains the present players now yet NOT being supportive of Malaysian players. Or maybe being optimistic is only for young people? Whenever a new game starts, I'd feel like we're going to make a history. With banners of Come Home Mr.Thomas held high by the supporters in the stadium, I kept feeling that Malaysian team was going to beat China.

Yet there were too often Malaysian players lose scores to opponent because of the formers' own mistakes. I couldn't make myself to complain, but pray that the players will keep cool and take it easy. Because I knew the hope and pressure were on them, with this Cup being held at home land especially. While the uncles kept scolding: you can go home now; you're humiliating the country, etc. Was it because they've seen enough reality that make it impossible for them to feel the excitement of being hopeful again? Honestly, I know nuts about Malaysian badminton history. But it's as if I understand how it's like to put in every effort for a competition yet only being this close to make it. Others said it's as if nothing has been done because losing means one has contributed nothing beneficial. But I know it's not true. The hard work is real. The pressure is real. The fight itself is real. The sinking feeling whenever we're a score further from the Cup is real. No matter how many mistakes they've done in the court, humiliation is not something I could recognise for it.

At the end, I have to say, yup, China team performed well that night. Energetic and well-trained players. But I still love Malaysian players more, even AFTER they've lost the matches. All of them are still pretty much my idols whom I will look up to and support. Maybe to the extent of keeping their sweaty towels.

b) then play Saboteur at Elise's house: It's a board game. My first time playing it. I'm too lazy to explain what it is, but well, just say it's similar to mafia/murderer game, that we need to fake our identity at some point of the game. And apparently I just couldn't fake it enough even though I've tried my best to do EVERYTHING I could to look like another identity. Sue Ann said I was like an open book. Really? Sigh. Hahaha, but it was fun!

c) bought burger for dinner/supper at this "Jeremy's" stall before heading Elise's house. Learnt something new, a recipe by the stall owner. Burger Kawen = burger with chicken and beef patty. Alternately, you can also call it Burger Abu, because Ayam + lemBU = ABU! Nice try, tauke :) And hey, they add a few slices of green apple in the burger instead of cucumber! Isn't it interesting?

Thank you, Lord, for such an interesting weekend!

I'm Sorry.

A plane operated by Libyan airline Afriqiyah crashed on landing at Tripoli airport. Out of the 104 persons in the plane, only one Dutch child, age 8, survived.

If I'm a story teller, I'd tell all kind of stories about the crash and his survival and what happens after that with him being the only survival of this tragic incident. Maybe I'll go with the direction of his encounter with angel of death and how he managed to trick the satan for his life. And he could be famous and everyone knows him as The One, and plan crash investigators all around the world will be interested in interviewing him to know what exactly happened and how did he survive. Or maybe this boy will grow up having phobia with boarding a plane and his story to overcome the fear.

But I'm not. I'm only a human. I feel horribly sorrowful to read this news. I'm sorry for the losses suffered by the victims' families and friends. I'm sorry for the victims' tragic death. I'm sorry for the airline company. I know none of them. But may the Lord bless the souls.

I wonder what would I have done should I be in a crashing plane. It's either I went total blank in my mind, or thoughts about everything runs through my mind in matter of seconds. Thoughts about undone chores, unspoken love and apology. Thoughts about people I have yet to hug that very morning.

And maybe, thought about how I should have lived like I am dying.

Have a good day, everyone.

Wednesday

Today (Wednesday, 5th May 2010) is a happening day, but I'm not part of any event :(

1. Sarah flies in from Sibu! She's here for a workshop for a few days and it'll be fantastic if we can meet up and have dinner or something. Which part of KL? She was at the same old KTSN this morning :)

2. Ervina is back in KL from Washington! She called from the States last night right before her impromptu flight. Again, it would be great if I can meet her up tonight because during weekend she'll be off to Philippine. Hopefully I'm still able to meet her next week, when she flies back here again.

3. MPO Jam Buster - Grand Tango. RM10.00. Yes, I am having slight addiction to MPO performances these days. Amy would have come with me if I am attending it.

For some reason, I can't be part of all these.

On another note, my apology to all doctor friends. I am one of the most noncompliant patient you will ever have. But that's also partly because my doctor didn't give me MC so I refuse to take the pill for flu, which the nurse said will make me drowsy. But yes, I hate swallowing pill, too.

And the conversation with you about how I'd prefer to say sleep "in" bed instead of sleep "on" bed because that's how the bed swallows a person "into" it when one sleeps on it, and your response towards my ridiculous explanation certainly made my day, despite missing all these events :)

No, no, I'll still make it up to you, dear Sarah and Ervina :)

Ugly

Because what you should be afraid of, is not your friends seeing the less-than-pretty-by-your-standard pictures of you on Facebook, and judge you silently in their heads, or even talk and laugh about you. Instead, you should be afraid of making friends with people who cannot accept you after seeing the less-than-perfect side of you.

Friends, who after seeing the worst of you, still love you as you are. Generally people do not expect the ugly side of you, but it's only friends who after seeing it, they would know that it's just you being yourself. Friends, who do not agree with you for many, many things, but would still respect your opinion. It may take a life time to understand a person. But the least of all, is to have a person goes so low that he dares not tell you right at your face what he thinks about you yet talks about you at your back. And then pretends nothing ever happens.

There's a friend I trust deeply. I gave him all my secrets. I told him all the nasty things I've done. I told him my concerns and worries. I showed him my ugliest and weakest sides. He could be emotionless and annoyingly logical most of the time, but he never leaves me alone. There was only once that he scolded angrily at me. He was angry at me because he was worried about me after I told him what I've done.

Give me the world, but I'd rather abandon it if it's without this friend in it.

Heels Don't Kill

Since Monday, when I'm feeling optimistic, I thought I walk like a very demure girl; otherwise, I thought I walk like an old lady.

But no, my colleague just broke it to me: macam robot la!

Thanks to the pair of new, deceivingly-pretty heels. It's either you be their friends, or let them torture you. They don't kill like terrorists do.

*ouch*ouch*ouch*

You paham?

It's easy for you to ask someone to do the supposedly most beneficial thing when you're in the majority.

Like how the French were just stupid to impose laws unto Muslim women not to wear veil because of how the majority might feel against them. It might be true that they feel disturbed seeing women clad in cloths all over. But it's not the Muslim's fault that they feel it this way. I'd say it's only human nature to see something out of the norm. But because the people who are against the veil are the majority, they have the say, and who cares about the minority? Even if it's nothing to do with the religion, that's not right to decide how a person should or should not dress herself up. Who are you, fashion police?

At the same time we have Muslim women who don't wear headscarf. The principles behind religious practices are not easily comprehended sometimes. But one must know that the least of all, it's not you who decide how to interprete the scripture, but let the scripture itself leads you to understanding a religion. You don't get to choose which part of the scripture you'd like to believe, which you wouldn't. God is not someone you believe in the way you wish Him to be, but He is someone you have to believe even if you haven't really understand Him, yet. In fact, nobody can fully understand God. He is too smart :)

Or the way you want to abolish sekolah Jenis on the grounds that they breed racial seggregation. Or the way you want everyone to only speak BM on the basis that every Malaysian should speak national language to show our patriotism. But that's exactly how you're missing out the point. Because it so happen that BM is your mother tongue, you don't feel the hit when one is asked not to speak the language he grows up with. Not simply because you have yet to know the beauty of other mother tongues in this land. In fact, Mandarin, Tamil and other languages are no longer the total mother tongue of a Malaysian in this generation now. Because we grow up speaking rojak to everyone. There's a bit BM in the Penangite's Hokkien and Teochew, a bit English in our BM, a bit Hokkien in BM. And only Malaysians say "-la". The best way to ask a person to understand the feel of cutting one's mother tougue from his lips, is to ask him not to sound like a Malaysian.

OK, buat kerja.

random pictures

1. Swimming pool in Vistana

2. Various coloured paper stripes in random order, before a "big project" sequel.

3. One of the cards I made this week. Why does inspiration always come at night? *panda eyes*

4. The Simpsons

Come Hell or High Water, or, Monday.

Just a quick post.

It's been on my mind for more than a month now, though no doubt I've shared it with some of my close friends about it. That I am sure it must be God's plan all along. It's like the debate about whether or not it was, after all, God's plan that Judas betrayed Jesus, that Jesus knew it all along hence that's why He was very troubled about it that He was in anguish as He prayed [Luke 22:42] "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.". Or, otherwise. It doesn't mean I now think it's a right thing to be done, though. Anyway..

It's really like shower of blessings, over and over again. Like a huge, month-long celebration that as if finally I've made a right choice which is pleasing to God's eyes. Only recently that I feel the ride has slowed down a little. It's like God saying, OK, you've had enough fun now, haven't you? It's time to get back to Work.

It aches me to think about the disaster during the past weekend. But, if it's God's will that I receive what I do not deserve, I guess the celebration mentioned above were more like a farewell for me. It's just that, we're having so much fun with each other around that we didn't notice it's a farewell. It might be a good thing, after all.

And oh, Nar is back to Malaysia from Nepal for another year.

And I'm going to laugh at myself, real hard, and calculate 1 to the power of a fifth for the 700th time. And I bet Jun Hoe will no longer reply with nice words to my messages about how I screw up (and still get what I long for). Thank God I still have Xu Vin :)

But I'd rather it's meant to be a farewell than just a celebration, so that when it's here, nobody will have time to be sad, if anyone would. I'd rather Jun Hoe does the above, and the only reason I am going to wish for that is because I no longer need to send him those messages to begin with. I'd rather the whole world to laugh with me, at myself. I really, really.. wish I could have done better... sigh, let's not think about it now. I need loads of prayer and favor from God.